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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Apparently, I’m Dead - The Afterlife

487 replies

BigFatFanny · 14/02/2018 10:24

You asked for it Grin

OP posts:
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PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 14/02/2018 14:54

Do you think M0 thinks she really is seeing your DH like one of the nutters from Lewis?

BigFatFanny · 14/02/2018 14:55

DH blocked her on facebook earlier today and both our profiles are locked down. He has an instagram but i dont think M0 has, he's checking his followers now I think.

I'm inclined to think that this isn't my responsibility now? Everyone knows DH and I are solid and anyone who believed that crap clearly doesn't know us so I'm inclined to think I don't need to care what they think?

I kind of feel like we need to rise above it and just ignore, she'l tire herself out eventually surely?

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 14/02/2018 14:56

Obvs on insta he should make his account private and set up a separate one for his photography that’s ok to be public if he wants that out there.

Obvs anyone can be anyone on insta.

SilverHairedCat · 14/02/2018 14:57

I think ignoring her and telling the relevant people that's she's batshit should do it, OP. That's the grown up way to deal with this.

But please do look at the Suzy Lamplight Trust information.

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 14/02/2018 14:58

OP, I do think you/DH need to keep an eye out, and if this escalates any further do please get advice from the police. With someone like this, it does have the potential to turn nasty.

Gazelda · 14/02/2018 14:58

Ideally, yes she will tire of this in time. But unfortunately the hornets nest has been poked, so her next actions will be unpredictable.

I think a message from your DH along the lines PPs have suggested and then complete disengagement.

Her friends will now be alerted to how much this has got out of hand and should be thinking about how to help her.

I'd let the whole saga die a quiet death now (sorry 😉).

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 14/02/2018 15:00

Insomniac if it's on SM, doesn't that make it libel?

ForgivenessIsDivine · 14/02/2018 15:01

Sounds like a plot from a Sophie Hannah novel.

Nifflerbowtruckle · 14/02/2018 15:02

De-lurking, hopefully ignoring her would cause it to go away BUT she's told her family including her kids that this is real. She's not going to admit it's a lie (if she even realises it's not true) so she will either tell them they've split up probably because he cheated with you or got back with you OR she will step up the campaign to 'get' him. I'd worry that she was unstable enough that being found out won't be enough to stop her.

Groovee · 14/02/2018 15:02

That sounds rather unhinged that she's claiming to be having an affair and that you have split up and that she was pregnant.

Hope this does fade away and she realises she was rumbled.

MiddleClassProblem · 14/02/2018 15:05

To have got to the point that she’s told her kids says to me that she’s not just some attention seeking shit stirrer but she’s actually believing this fantasy.

DancesWithOtters · 14/02/2018 15:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Castieldeansam · 14/02/2018 15:11

This is the best thread, but not liking the dark twist at the end. I don't think that it's going to go away anytime soon, she has been lying about this for months. I would protect yourself, and document everything. It would be worth talking to 101 for advise and for them to log it. They may send cpso's to have a quite chat and that may help her to let go of the web of lies she has created or at least lie her way out of it!

InsomniacAnonymous · 14/02/2018 15:17

"Insomniac if it's on SM, doesn't that make it libel?"

Sorry, I was thinking that M0 had been having face-to-face conversations with the woman who messaged the OP, but yes, of course, if it's all been on SM you're right. It's not always clear if someone says "I was talking to so and so the other night and she said ....etc" whether this was online or in person.
These days I should assume SM I suppose, but I'm an old hag (who doesn't even own a mobile phone!) so living in the past probably. After all, half the time, even if people are out together somewhere, they're on their phones. Smile

DancesWithOtters · 14/02/2018 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alwaysme22 · 14/02/2018 15:22

erotomania - look up the meaning of this. Years ago I had a friend who was totally convinced she was in love with the vet that treated her horse. He was in love with her to apparently but couldn't tell anyone because of his father who was in a position of influence. Thing is she was totally convinced this was true and nothing would convince her otherwise. The poor vet was oblivious.

She told her husband that she was leaving him for this man. Husband came round to ask me what was going on and said he felt like going to see him and stick a knife in him!!

I didn't know what to say other than said man would be really shocked because it wasn't true.

There is a lot more to the story but would take me forever to explain. Suffice to say we are now 20 years later and she is still convinced it is all true. Despite fact that man married someone else.

Apparently this condition is incurable :(

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 14/02/2018 15:24

Very true Insomniac. I never MN when my DC are playing Roblox in cafés, oh no, not I. Blush

PinkyBlunder · 14/02/2018 15:26

Fuck. She’s completely batshit.

she'l tire herself out eventually surely?

Yes, most likely but people like this can be dangerous and if she’s gone this far (already way way too far) there’s no telling how much further she’d be willing to go. Now that she’s been called out on part of the lie she’s lost control too which makes weirdos like her crazy.

A matter of fact written response from your DH saying he’s aware of what she’s doing and that she is to stop immediately and never contact him or you, might not be a bad idea and then if it continues, you can take that to the police. Definitely get some professional advice though.

InsomniacAnonymous · 14/02/2018 15:28

Hmmm. I think OP and her DH would be well advised to start taking this more seriously.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 14/02/2018 15:31

Just to add to the chorus of having a chat with a pcso about this just in case. She may go away after this, but she also may step up a gear. It sounds like she needs some help, although her friends should be the ones getting that rather than you but at the same time you need to make sure you're protected.

billybagpuss · 14/02/2018 15:32

Actually yes, getting worried for your safety now and I only ever watched fatal attraction once.

She has told her kids she's in a relationship with your DH.
She's categorically telling everyone that they were about to move in together, everyone was excited to meet him.
She's spread a rumour that you're dead (still waiting for my Fwake invite by the way Mr BFF)

She is seriously unhinged. Please at least chat to 101 people from a stalking point of view.

PinkyBlunder · 14/02/2018 15:32

And I’ve changed my mind.

M0 - Glenn Close

sirlee66 · 14/02/2018 15:33

What I don't understand is.. you and DH had split up (but still lived together) then last Friday you died.. so how come he didn't immediately move her in or go round to seek comfort if all the family (including her kids) know about him!?

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 14/02/2018 15:36

Good point. Foolish BFFDH.

PinkyBlunder · 14/02/2018 15:39

I very much doubt her family or kids know anything about this to be honest. It’s just something she’s been spinning to her ‘friends’ on nights out.

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