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Original poster

Apparently, I’m Dead - The Afterlife

487 replies

BigFatFanny · 14/02/2018 10:24

You asked for it Grin

OP posts:
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6
CoraPirbright · 14/02/2018 14:27

Yowsers. She really is unhinged. These mutual friends of yours/hers need to do an intervention!! Or perhaps she can appraise you of when they are going out and you can appear together and confront her? I am not sure this constitutes harassment or stalking and be police worthy (as suggested on the old thread) yet....but do bear it in mind.

As a side note, What if he gets you cremated or buried at sea then there's no grave to put flowers on. I have always fancied one of those Viking funerals where my body is on a boat and flaming arrows are shot from the shore and then I can spend the afterlife in the sea/on the beach. But I think it may not be legall.....Grin

MadRainbow · 14/02/2018 14:28

...that is so creepy BFF starting to back others that have said to contact the police now. She genuinely sounds as if She's suffering from some kind of delusions and the police can help her get some help.

CaveMum · 14/02/2018 14:28

She’s totally batshit Shock

Would your DH be willing to post something on her Facebook page (so all her friends see it) asking her to cease with the stupid stories or that he will contact the police citing harassment/stalking.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/02/2018 14:31

Dammit, crossposted with your update.

She has got problems. Did the friend you just spoke to have any ideas on how to tackle it, or is she staying well out of it? I mean, it would be ideal if she could say something along the lines of "yes, you know you're making it all up, we all do, can't you give it a rest and get a real boyfriend now?" but she might not be game for that.

Your DH might want to make some enquiries about defamation - after all, she's basically saying he's cheating on you with her, which is a total lie and makes him out to be a cheating bastard - but I'm not sure whether it's worth a "cease and desist" type of letter from a solicitor, which can be done when people are stalking you. I mean, she kind of IS stalking but without actually contacting your DH!

Dunno. Don't know whether the police or a psychiatrist would benefit her more!

GreenTulips · 14/02/2018 14:31

Agree! Your DH needs to step in and speak to her.

Strange woman

SixSeasonsAndAMovie · 14/02/2018 14:33

Fuck me, M0 is bloody mental! I had to cut my oldest friend out of my life for shit like this, so many fake pregnancies/abortions/miscarriages I actually lost count. Everyone else was the problem, oh no never her. People like this are the most insecure beings with no self esteem and are incredibly dangerous, as BFF’s latest update has revealed. M0 needs an intervention

Side note.....Slightly jealous that BFF never has to pair Vikings socks after the wash, surely they just get thrown into the drawer with reckless abandon??

CoraPirbright · 14/02/2018 14:34

Ah Thumb makes a good suggestion. Would also post the letter on her Fb so all the friends she has lied to can see it.

Makes you wonder who would be mates with someone who lies like this (plus what your dh said about the lies from the school days). There have been previous threads about people like this and I think the general response was that friends were sympathetic but got really fed up with all the lies after a while.

WonderTweek · 14/02/2018 14:37

Gosh. This escalated quickly. I read the first thread yesterday morning and now there's an article in the sun, and the creepy latest developments. First of all I would like to say that BigFatFanny sounds like a legend and the sort of person I would like to have a pint with. Grin You're taking this really well! I would have gone on a full on social media mission by now.

I'd probably get the DH to clarify the situation on fb if possible, and then just block block block!

I'm wondering about the Sun article though. I don't really know how gutter press usually works but I'm interested to know if they contacted you prior to publishing the story or not? I'd be a bit miffed if someone just nicked my posts on a forum and published it as "journalism". Hmm

Comealongpond89 · 14/02/2018 14:38

Omg what a nutter! I agree with pp saying the mutual friends should tell her they know she's lying and to cut it out

Roaring at dh at that awards ceremony 😂

Thistlebelle · 14/02/2018 14:39

It’s hard to know what the right thing is to do, after all, it’s mostly hearsay.

She didn’t contact either of you until you contacted her so I’m not sure whether it’s harassment at this point.

I would certainly make sure all my and my DH’s social media was completely locked down to her (and her friends) and I’d be blocking her number, email etc on all devices.

I absolutely wouldn’t post anything inflammatory on FB.

If you were worried perhaps an informal conversation with your local community police officer might be appropriate.

Telling your children you are engaged in an affair with someone else’s husband seems very odd though. Who would do that even if it were true?

Morphene · 14/02/2018 14:40

Is new lady saying M0 did tell everyone you were dead or does she agree with M0?

Ninabean17 · 14/02/2018 14:41

I hope you're enjoying your afterlife op! But mo is batshit! DH needs to say something, god knows what else she's been saying

DartmoorDoughnut · 14/02/2018 14:41

Wow

InsomniacAnonymous · 14/02/2018 14:42

"Would your DH be willing to post something on her Facebook page (so all her friends see it) asking her to cease with the stupid stories or that he will contact the police citing harassment/stalking."

It's slander too. She's saying your DH is being unfaithful to you with her and he isn't. She's being saying it for months too. He needs to take action. It's not a joke when it's gone this far, amusing as the threads have been.

Straycatblue · 14/02/2018 14:42

Small development on the actual reason we're all here...
I've been messaged by a lady who didn't post on my wall, but who was there when M0 was openly discussing my untimely demise on Saturday night. Of the friendship group, she says she's the one that's closest to M0 which I'm inclined to believe as she seems to know more than the others.
She apologised for the situation and said although M0 is still adamant she didnt say i was dead, she is still claiming to have been seeing my DH for the last few months. She said this has been a topic of conversation for them for ages and she's seemed smitten with her new man. She's even showed them pictures of him, although she did say none of the pictures had her in them and from what she's said they sound like ones she's had off his facebook profile. Apparently she's told her family, kids, friends etc etc about him and they have all been excited to meet him
In all serious, I'm not sure how to tackle this?

This has escalated beyond anything funny , there are now people out there in your circle of aquaintances at least who believe that your husband is cheating on you with her and she believes her own fantasy so much shes now telling her friends and people you know that you are dead.

Both of you need to block her on fb/social media but not only that, make sure none of your fb/insta posts are public that she can get information about you from there. If your husbands band has a page, block her on that as well. (Altho it wont take much for her to get around ie she only has to open a new fb account)

This has the potential to escalate further and already has within a short period of time, it may be worth getting some proper advise from here, they have a helpline also.
www.suzylamplugh.org/Pages/FAQs/Category/anti-stalking

lurkingnotlurking · 14/02/2018 14:43

Call the police for advice please Op

diddl · 14/02/2018 14:43

"she's seemed smitten with her new man. She's even showed them pictures of him, "

Ooh, that's creepy.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 14/02/2018 14:48

Blimey, this has taken a creepy turn! Shock

I agree it's worth calling the police to see whether anything can be done, it's a bit frightening she's obsessed with your DH and is now telling people you're dead... Confused

Original poster
BigFatFanny · 14/02/2018 14:48

This new lady is genuinely lovely, we're having a chat about it now but it seems to run pretty deep and come from a place of very deep insecurity.

This lady was best friends with M0 in sixth form and remembers my DH really well and knew about me and our relationship, so she's known it's all bullshit since M0 showed her a photo. Apparently at the time she said 'are you sure that's him M0? I think that's BFFDH from sixthform, he's married now isnt he?" and then M0 said yes he was but we'd separated but were still living together and he was planning to move in with her after her kids had got to know him Confused

She's also apparently been pregnant by DH right back at the beginning but had an early termination because it was 'too soon' for them to have a baby Hmm. Twisting the knife somewhat although she's not to know that.

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 14/02/2018 14:50

In all serious, I'm not sure how to tackle this?

You don't.

Do nothing.

Not your problem. It's not true, you don't need to go on the defensive. You don't need to prove anything. Just leave it.

KitKat1985 · 14/02/2018 14:50

Oh dear OP.

Honestly I think what I would do next is get your DH to message her saying he is very angry to hear that she is spreading rumours that he is cheating on you with her, and that she has also been telling people you are dead, and that if she continues with this you both will be contacting the police regarding all the slander / stalking behaviour.

InsomniacAnonymous · 14/02/2018 14:53

She sounds unhinged enough to be potentially dangerous.

ReanimatedSGB · 14/02/2018 14:53

OOOOKKK time for a friendly chat with the plod via 101, I think. Even You've got the screenshot messages etc, so it's not just hearsay. And, given that you had that message exchange with the mad cow, she might well start to escalate, thinking that she's got nothing to lose.

(I have known one or two individuals who were genuinely deluded. Getting 'caught out' always sent them into a meltdown.)

StormTreader · 14/02/2018 14:53

Ok, that is way too creepy.
I'd get your DH to shut down her access to his FB page, and change his profile pic to one showing the two of you together being coupley.

Thistlebelle · 14/02/2018 14:54

Personally I absolutely would not gave him contact her. Don’t put fuel in the fire.

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