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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Apparently, I’m Dead - The Afterlife

487 replies

BigFatFanny · 14/02/2018 10:24

You asked for it Grin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
ClockLock · 14/02/2018 13:54

I'm picturing your dh as Josh Homme. Am I right? I am aren't I? Goddammit!

Thistlebelle · 14/02/2018 13:55

There can’t be that many 6ft 7 men with only one foot in Death Metal bands and unexpectedly alive wives to be fair...

I imagine several of your friends might be having fun with condolence cards. Keep an eye on your mail.

Original poster
BigFatFanny · 14/02/2018 13:56

Thistle problem with my lovely DM is she doesnt realise how bloody funny she is!

For example, the morning of my wedding she bought both DH and I a pair of socks (for our cold feet ala everybody loves reymond), but she thought sended DH a pair was insensitive, so she sent him 2 socks, both from different pairs and gave the other non matching set to DF Grin

OP posts:
PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 14/02/2018 13:58

😂

ReanimatedSGB · 14/02/2018 13:59

Oh this will keep on giving, OP. BTW, should you want to 'share your story' for a fee somewhere, I know absolutely the perfect journo for you to talk to (it isn't me). You're welcome to PM for details.

BigFatGoalie · 14/02/2018 14:00

Just read The Sun article before I saw your username and thought...
I WROTE WHAT?!
I had to check they’d blurred out “fanny” and not “goalie” Grin

Glad you’re alive and kicking bigfat

Original poster
BigFatFanny · 14/02/2018 14:06

Reanimated (very fitting name) thanks but I'm fine, hoping it becomes tomorrows fish and chip paper to be honest, DH and I lead a fairly drama-free lifestyle so getting caught up in this is a bit uncomfortable as it is!

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 14/02/2018 14:07

😂 BigFatGoalie

Also like that this happened to Ross and you are Monica

Thistlebelle · 14/02/2018 14:08

That’s both adorable and terribly thoughtful at the same time.

I’m nominating Zooey Deschanel for the part of Fanny

Susan Sarandon for the part of Fanny’s Mum

Sam Heughan for the part of Fanny’s DH.

lurkingnotlurking · 14/02/2018 14:09

I like it that the tits-out-for-the-lads rag can't print the word Fanny. Which is, after all, an actual name too

MiddleClassProblem · 14/02/2018 14:09

Maybe he’s geeky enough to be looking after you like in Death Becomes Her.

If you smell spray paint in the morning he might have been touching up your skin in the night (in a paint way not a rapey way just to clarify)

Damnpeskykids · 14/02/2018 14:12

Ohhh DH played by the Viking god himself Alexander Skaarsgard surely??! Grin

Jesterstolehisthornycrown1 · 14/02/2018 14:13

Love that the sun have called you big fat and left out the Fanny 🙄

Situp · 14/02/2018 14:15

I love that your mum felt the need to buy 2 pairs of socks and give DH one from each!

MyOtherProfile · 14/02/2018 14:15

If your dh could be played by the Tormund actor could you be Brienne of Tarth?

MiddleClassProblem · 14/02/2018 14:20

How about Aubrey Plaza?

MiddleClassProblem · 14/02/2018 14:21

Although I’ve been watching Life In Pieces and Zoe Lister Jones is brilliant and funny in it.

Groovee · 14/02/2018 14:21

I'm most disappointed that the sun won't use your full name. What is wrong with Fanny

MiddleClassProblem · 14/02/2018 14:22

I know! Fanny is a name!

Original poster
BigFatFanny · 14/02/2018 14:23

Small development on the actual reason we're all here...

I've been messaged by a lady who didn't post on my wall, but who was there when M0 was openly discussing my untimely demise on Saturday night. Of the friendship group, she says she's the one that's closest to M0 which I'm inclined to believe as she seems to know more than the others.

She apologised for the situation and said although M0 is still adamant she didnt say i was dead, she is still claiming to have been seeing my DH for the last few months. She said this has been a topic of conversation for them for ages and she's seemed smitten with her new man. She's even showed them pictures of him, although she did say none of the pictures had her in them and from what she's said they sound like ones she's had off his facebook profile. Apparently she's told her family, kids, friends etc etc about him and they have all been excited to meet him Confused

In all serious, I'm not sure how to tackle this?

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 14/02/2018 14:23

As funny as this all is and as fantastic as your SOH I'm absolutely Shock at the mistake re parent considering what you've typed here.

Perhaps they could pay for DH new foot as compensation?

MiddleClassProblem · 14/02/2018 14:25

Omg!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/02/2018 14:26

I can't believe I missed the first thread! I saw it on my Trending this morning (am in Aus) but then, like a fool, pressed Refresh page and lost it, and never went to find it again!

Never mind, have read it all now and am pleased to find that BFF is in fact not dead, less pleased to discover that your DH has a mad stalker who makes weird shit up about you and him because she's a bit of a wannabe or something, but generally just enjoying the humour.

I did wonder if you should have got Adam Hills to be your DH in the film production, but I think he's not Viking enough, so he'll have to do the straight-to-afternoon-tv version instead Grin (I do love Adam Hills though!)

I do also think you should do a zombie photo of yourself for your new profile pic on Faceache though Grin

GrapesAreMyJam · 14/02/2018 14:26

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

MiddleClassProblem · 14/02/2018 14:27

I’m not sure it’s for you to tackle rather than her and her support network.

I mean if the pics are just off his fb it’s likely others were with him when taken or even yourself. She hasn’t got a leg to stand on... (pun semi intended)