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Original poster

To think my ex is an absolute prick

226 replies

ExFury · 13/02/2018 11:31

I've NC'd for this in case anyone linked to my ex sees it, I don't want them to know my usual name.

I have two teenage DD's with ex. They've had an up and down relationship with him over the years. He goes through stages of being super attentive and then hardly seeing them for months. Things settled quite a bit when he got married 4 years ago. He moved 4 hours away, but he wanted the girls every other weekend and has been pretty regular at taking them. They get on well with their step-brother (similar age) and they now have a young half-brother who they adore.

His wife isn't the most welcoming to them, but she's not awful. She refuses to be an "unpaid babysitter" when ex is on call (he does 1 weekend every 12 weeks) so despite the fact he's been called out once in the last 3 years contact has to be cancelled on his on-call weekends. She spends every Christmas with her parents and won't "impose" the girls on them so they don't ever get to spend Christmas with them (this suits me, but the girls would like to spend 1 Christmas with their brothers). When they are there she's nice to them, she's just not particularly interested in them.

Last summer DH and I wanted to take the girls to Australia for a holiday. I asked if we could take them for 3 weeks and he said a straight no. So I tried to juggle round days, but with flights and the likes we decided to wait as messing with his contact weekend just wasn't worth the hassle. The girls were having a particularly good time with him and their new baby brother we felt it wasn't worth any arguments so we just went away for two weeks.

The girls were told by their step-brother at the weekend that they are all going to Australia on holiday next year. The girls were as hyper as anything and came home full of talk about it. The eldest even wondered if DH and I could go on holiday before or after that so they could get 4 weeks in Aus.

Got a text this morning from ex. He is going to Australia. His wife is going. His son and step-son are going. Unfortunately they are going when the girls are sitting their exams as it's the only time that fits in with his family (charming turn of phrase there) so unless I'm prepared to let them miss their standard grades and highers they won't be going with. Apparently he's sorry for the confusion. So, I get to tell them tonight (he won't tell them on the phone and I can't see them excited for over a week). Fucking prick.

OP posts:
Flipflopflipflap · 19/02/2018 20:53

selftitled are you alright?
I currently have a lovely DP who is a fab partner. I’ve got no fucking idea what kind of parent he will be because my only pregnancy was unsuccessful.
He might be a twunt but it’s a risk we take.
What a stupid comment

BewareOfDragons · 19/02/2018 20:55

Ignore troll-selftitledalbum.

I'm furious on behalf of your girls that he still hasn't had the decency to speak to them.

StephiD3 · 19/02/2018 20:59

I felt angry reading the beginning of the thread now I’m just laughing at your Ex - too scared to speak to his own DD’s. He’s pathetic.

You and your girls will no doubt have an amazing holiday and by the sounds of it - all kids involved sound lovely so they will still have a great relationship with their brothers Smile

64BooLane · 19/02/2018 21:01

Imagine really wanting to be a troll, but being just a little too dim to come up with a trolling comment that makes any actual sense. What bleakness. 1/10 I’m afraid, self

HolyMountain · 19/02/2018 21:01

self are you the step mum?

What a shite comment , totally uncalled for.

Blessyourheart · 19/02/2018 21:07

Can't wait to hear where you are going.

wannabestressfree · 19/02/2018 21:09

That trip to America going into Canada sounds fab! I would love to do it...

Lizzie48 · 19/02/2018 21:25

I would agree with the idea of a trip to America going into Canada. But then I have relatives in Canada who we're visiting this summer so I'm biased! Grin

I'm sure you'll have a great holiday together wherever you go. You and your DDs deserve it. Thanks

feebeemee · 19/02/2018 21:32

I've just read this thread OP and while I haven't anything to add to the comments from PP I wanted to say that despite the fact that their father is a selfish twunt your DDs are lucky have a Mum who clearly puts their interests and feelings first (as it should be)Thanks

altiara · 19/02/2018 21:38

Just finished the thread, have moved from feeling very violent to agreeing with crowdfunding for a 6 week king of trips plus 2 iPhones - one for each hand Grin
Just feel so desperately sorry for your girls.

MinorRSole · 20/02/2018 01:27

Oh dear, man is shit father but it's the woman's fault! Glad to see that ridiculous comment was deleted

jacobsgirl · 20/02/2018 01:59

What a fanny
Definitely seems like a bit of coincidence ...maybe his wife's doing??

Emandjem · 20/02/2018 04:27

Does anyone else get the feeling that OP's ex might not be getting the text messages from her and his dds, and that the spiteful wife could be getting to his phone and deleting them?

TeeBee · 20/02/2018 04:50

No, I think he's just a spineless prick.
OP, don't send him the link to the crowdfunder, tell him you easily afforded it with the maintenance money he pays GrinWink

BlondeB83 · 20/02/2018 06:24

What a selfish bastard!

Jux · 20/02/2018 11:16

Grin TeeBee

Original poster
ExFury · 20/02/2018 11:27

Does anyone else get the feeling that OP's ex might not be getting the text messages from her and his dds, and that the spiteful wife could be getting to his phone and deleting them?

No, I don't think that. This is entirely his MO. He hasn't done it for a good while, but when he decides to walk away, usually for long enough that he thinks his fuck-up is forgotten, he just goes completely out of contact. Inevitably he comes back at some point down the line with a birthday card or random comment about something that has happened in the family like you've spoken to him the day before.

OP posts:
TalkinBoutWhat · 20/02/2018 11:36

If you want a longer trip to Australia, then choose the UK summer holidays, and head to Queensland which will be in their dry season - don't head down south, it will be the middle of winter there and really miserable.

Take a trip to the Great Barrier Reef, spend some time on Fraser Island, go to the tropical rain forests, etc. You will love it, and so will the girls.

Jux · 20/02/2018 11:49

I was going to suggest a visit to Great Barrier Island if you're heading for the Antipodes. Yes, it's NZ rather than Aus, and just off Auckland in the Pacific, but it's a beautiful island, most of it's owned by the NZ Forestry Commission, so largely unspoilt. There are amazing beaches there too, Medlands particularly. Just a quick flight over to Auckland and then a little flight from there to the island (or you get the catamaran but it can be quite rough - exciting though).

newcarsmell · 20/02/2018 12:00

Definitely Queensland if you're going to Oz. Queensland has beautiful beaches, great weather, resorts, water parks.

FizzyGreenWater · 20/02/2018 12:05

Inevitably he comes back at some point down the line with a birthday card or random comment about something that has happened in the family like you've spoken to him the day before.

I really hope he doesn't get to get away with that, ever again.

'Oh THERE you are! Ok, so we have some unfinished business. Let me just re-send some of the texts from back in February and hopefully we can finally get some answers - I'll just do that, and we can pick up where we left off...'

Seriously, why would you or your DDs even care one button about playing along and not upsetting him any more?

SistersOfPercy · 20/02/2018 12:20

Take them to West Coast USA. Visit the original Disneyland, Hollywood and all the amazing beaches. Then get a coach up to Vegas and experience that. From there take a trip to the Grand Canyon. Thats probably the most breathtaking experience of a lifetime and nothing I could top.
Give them something to look forward to whatever you decide, a focus that isn't their prick of a father.

Dougthepug · 20/02/2018 12:21

I really feel for your daughters op but ultimately it's your ex who's losing out. I can't imagine that the girls will want to have a relationship with him in the future if he keeps pulling these kind of shitty stunts. Hope that you guys have an amazing holiday another time.

Andro · 20/02/2018 13:57

Whatever trip you decide on, make sure you're covered wrt travel - your ex may try to refuse consent in which case you need the court's permission (in England at least, not sure about Scotland).

(YWBVU to be so polite about him in your title though - prick isn't nearly strong enough as an adjective for him.)

CruCru · 01/03/2018 17:40

I love the idea of a trip up the west coast of the US. Or scuba diving in the Maldives / Seychelles / Galapagos (the last is a bit impractical I know). Or a really fancy ski holiday.