Beko that's absolutely horrific to read, I'm so sorry.
The court system is depressing for the above and in my view judges have a big responsibility. It's their courtroom and they should intervene to prevent such questioning.
However a lot of judges are white male dinosaurs from a bygone era and themselves hold bigoted, misogynistic views, and sadly this comes out in the judges comments often, as week as in the permission of such terrible questioning.
OP YANBU, definitely. I've felt strongly about this because it so often comes up in rape cases.
The fact of the matter is, while im sure some innocent people do get to court, it's likely to be very proportion and the chances are that most people who are found not guilty are in fact guilty. The threshold for cps to bring charges is high, and obviously ours possible for people to have done something but for there to not be proof beyond all reasonable doubt.
I've worked in my job with cases where everyone knows someone has done something, including the police, but it doesn't go to court due to lack of evidence.
There's the case of Poppi Worthington where there has not enough evidence as yet to bring her father to the criminal court, but a finding of facts hearing in the family court has found that he sexually abused and killed her (working on the balance of probability rather than beyond reasonable doubt) and a coroner's verdict had recently come to the same conclusion (not sure what threshold of evidence they work to). But there's not even enough evidence for him to go to court.