To think my toddler isn't "showing signs of autism"? (Possible triggering)

[KleenexNeeded]

My DD is 2.8 and has a global developmental delay of 9-12 months, she's non verbal, has met all milestones including physical ones late. The paediatrician says she's showing signs of autism/ASD but I think he's wrong.

Sorry if this offends anyone. I'm just concerned I might have missed something.

These are the reasons why I believe the Paeds is wrong:

1. She goes to Nursery and although still in the toddler room and not the rising 3 room (2.5-3 room is Rising 3s) she is empathetic. If her friend falls over she'll go over, give him/her a cuddle and pat them on the back. Similarly MILs dog hurt her paw last week and DD sat in the dog bed with her stroking her face.

1. We have no issues with food. She eats everything, and doesn't actively dislike anything. She has the usual toddler fussiness of eating broccoli one week and hating it the next, but she goes back to liking it within a few days/weeks and she moves onto disliking something else. She eats a good amount, and is maintaining her weight.

1. Although non-verbal her understanding is fantastic. If you ask her to go and get a cup from the cupboard she will go and get her cup.

1. She sleeps at night. She wakes up 2-3 times a night but my understanding is this is normal for a toddler due to nightmares/being too hot or cold/needing a nappy changed etc She settles quickly when I go into her and has whole weeks where she doesn't wake me in the night at all.

1. She forms attachments with other people. She will smile if you ask her about her grandparents, friends at Nursery, keyworker etc. She will also give them hugs, or go to them for comfort if I'm not around and she hurts herself.

1. We have no behaviour issues. Nursery say she's well behaved and a pleasure to be around, they've used their behaviour policy on her once or twice a term since she started and they said that's not a huge worry as every child needs it using occasionally. At home she tantrums like a normal toddler but these last 2-3 minutes at most they may last 10 minutes which isn't excessive. Health Visitor has watched her tantrum she happened to be here when DD tantrummed over something once and says they're no extreme or anything to be worried about.

1. She has obsession but not to the point that she's not bothered by anything else. She's like any 2 year old, loves Peppa Pig, will happily watch it but if you give her a toy to play she's happy with that. She also has her favourite cuddly toy with her all the time but Nursery say that's normal and he (the toy is a boy, she gets upset if you say it or she when referring to it) sits next to her on a chair/against the wall while she colours/paints/does whatever and then she'll give him a quick cuddle as they move between rooms/activities, similarly at home she's happy for him to sit nearby while she plays/colours.

1. She is starting to develop an imagination. I know this will have been delayed due to the GDD, but she will put her dolls on the back of her unicorns and they'll go for a ride. She cooks us meals on the play kitchen, if you put a doll in the bath with her she'll give the doll a wash.

So MN am I way off the mark here and DD is actually autistic and I'm too blind to see it? Or is the Paeds wrong?

I accept that the paeds wants a cause for the GDD but in this case I'm not sure there is one, I think it's just one of those things.

She babbles, mostly to herself but she does babble to me and other children as well

Please don't wait 6 months, diagnosis can take YEARS. And support even longer.

The trouble with genetic testing is that, while it can tell us a lot, there so much it can't tell us. Have you heard of SWAN? It's a charity for parents of children with issues such as ASD or GDD without a diagnosed cause. SWAN stands for 'Syndromes without a name' and it was set up because conditions with a known cause like Down Syndrome etc have great support networks for parents, but parents if children without a defined syndrome can struggle to find help. I can PM you with details if you'd like me to.

You are in danger of reacting as if a diagnosis of autism is an insult

You should think about that

The only way we properly support our children is by facing their challenges honestly

A paediatrician has zero reason to suggest autism with no basis
And again, the suggestion of a possible diagnosis of autism is not insulting

if the paed is saying it, then you should take it seriously, especially if theyre already seeing it at this young age.. You wont be doing your daughter any favours if you dont. Ask for further assessment. They wont find something that isnt there, and it does present differently in girls

I have a beautiful son who is now 12
Empathy in spades and no particular obsessions. He has friends. But I knew something was different about him and the school noticed too.
He had an ASD diagnosis last year. I never thought in a million years that would be the case but now he's almost a teen you can see how different he is from his peers.

Your DD sounds just like mine did, my DD had global delay.

She didn't get her diagnosis of Autism until she was a teen.

I think not having her needs fully met impacted on her S&L therapy and in general, although she is now doing well at 20 (all things considered).

She was really well behaved and suffered in the class with other children who were aggressive (SEN school). If I would have had an earlier diagnosis I would have moved her.

Her tantrums are probably usual for her age, but that may change and as said, it can take years for the process of diagnosis, so it's best picking up on it sooner than later.

My DD is extremely empathetic and she writes fiction (on goth type websites). She was also very expressive with her artwork and didn't have food issues until she was around six, sleep was never an issue.

Autism comes in all shapes and sizes, to put it simply.

There is such a thing as harm from over-diagnosis.
I guess keep an open mind & see how it goes.

the paeds said he didn't believe it needed to go further than that, not sure how he can make a judgement really, he's met us for 15 minutes twice and for the first appointment which was 30 minutes long to take history etc but he only came for the first 15 minutes and a more junior doctor took the rest of the history/measurements of her

wait what, is this the only time the paed has had with her, and then he came to this conclusion? If that was the case, I'd be questioning his judgement too.

At the same time though it took me until DD was four before she was diagnosed. Heck she couldnt talk, barely slept, hit all milestones late, brain damage, and people were still like "shes a girl so she cant have autism"

You will get people who will try and tell you all amount of stories and beliefs. Whats important is if you have an opportunity of diagnosis its worth persuing. It can take a while. You'll get a yes or no. And then you'll know.

What @Caprinihahahaha said.

We women with autism present very differently to the men.

Many girls like me missed out on valuable diagnosis at an early age because of the male autist stereotype. We all pay the price in some way.

I think its very important not to push parents into accepting assessment at this age.
The OP is not rejecting a diagnosis at this point. The paed has said the child is showing signs of autism. That isn't a diagnosis.
The OP's dd will not be harmed by waiting 6 months. She has a primary dx of GDD and is already known to services.
Let the OP take some time to think about this new development.
I would expect the DD to be under 6 monthly review at CDT so waiting till next review is not going to massively impact on her.

The OP is the DD's support, advocate and carer. Her views and feeling need to be respected. She needs to be as ready as she can to accept a diagnosis.

I bet all the parents on here expect and want to be listened to don't they? Its a common theme on the SN boards. Time to afford that courtesy to the OP.

Good luck Kleenex

I'd agree with that MrsDV as long as an open mind is kept either way at this stage.

I think regular review would be sensible.

Obviously early intervention is the most valuable but yes any diagnosis should be certain.

So O.P I'm sorry you are having a stressful time- I'm hoping my expereince might help a bit!

I have twin DDs who are now 4. They were prem and had lots of issues pre birth and have been late with pretty much all their milestones- I was however really upset when at about 2.5 traits of ASD were mentioned- namely speech delay, hand flapping and not turning when called (they did turn at home but not nursery.) They have always been great sleepers (7am-7pm from before 1) And they eat everything. On top of this they are very affectionate and caring girls! Anyway we had lots of support from SALT and now at 4 they are much, much improved and everyone involved in their care is pretty much convinced it is just a communication delay or if they are on the spectrum it is very mild. I wish 2 years ago I knew how things were going to pan out it would have saved me a lot of stress! I'm also a nursery teacher by profession so I knew a bit too much and was getting myself really het up about it. Hugs to you and your DD- she sounds lovely!

The autistic spectrum is very broad. Not every person with it will display the same symptoms. My son is 3 and a half and diagnosed with ASD and GDD. He is on the severe end. However he does not have problems with eating or sleeping and never has melt downs usually associated with it.
There's no harm in having her assessed. If she has ASD then you need to crack on with obtaining the necessary support ASAP.
If not, fabulous and you can crack on with things.

oops 7pm-7am- Just to add with my work head on rather than my mum one- Nursery and school can provide intervention without a formal diagnosis. Even EHCP's which are what used to be called Statements are about specific need rather than the label. My girls are under the local Early Years Intervention Team- They don't have a formal diagnosis of anything just being prem and having a general delay especially with speech. Later on- as in school age it might be more of an issue but for now as long as the door is left open on diagnosis it shouldn't affect the intervention she recieves.

The DD will already be getting early intervention with a dx of GDD.
The intervention for GDD is not very different from ASD at 2.5years.
Its about supporting language, taking things at the child's pace, monitoring development etc.

I cannot see there is anything to be gained from forcing an unwilling parent into assessment.

A year may actually not be enough time to get support in place for school in some areas, e.g here in north essex the wait for an ADOS assessment (diagnosis) can be a year, that doesn't actually grant you any extra help, help comes from the LEA in the form of an ECHP which brings its own assessments and can take 6 months, then if you disagree and want to appeal (because they will offer the very least they can) it can take even longer.

It is possible to get extra help without an ECHP however - your more at the will of whatever the LEA want to offer, in our area for extra funded help you have to show that no progress is being made with an IEP whereas an ECHP is legally blinding.

I wonder if completing an M-CHAT questionnaire might be useful? You can Google it. It's a autism tool used for children (up to 30 months I believe) and covers areas such as pointing, joint attention and copying.

The most helpful online M-CHAT is one which comes with accompanying detail to each question to enable you to answer as accurately as possible. I'm afraid I don't have any links.

It may reassure you it's unlikely your DD has autism, or may clarify the paed's initial thoughts for you.

I have to say your DD sounds absolutely lovely the way you describe her. Sorry you are having to think about ASD now, on top of the developmental delay. I know (from my own experience) the immense worry of having a child who is not seeming to develop alongside their peers. I wish you the very best.

essex
The DD will need additional support with a GDD diagnosis anyway.

Hello @KleenexNeeded it’s been a couple of years since this thread was started. I read through the whole thread... how’s is your little one doing now, no doubt she has progressed in all her milestones communications etc. I’m a mum who is in a position you were couple of years ago, except my dd is 16m and showing delegates with communication. Would love to hear how your dc is getting on now.