To think my toddler isn't "showing signs of autism"? (Possible triggering)

[KleenexNeeded]

My DD is 2.8 and has a global developmental delay of 9-12 months, she's non verbal, has met all milestones including physical ones late. The paediatrician says she's showing signs of autism/ASD but I think he's wrong.

Sorry if this offends anyone. I'm just concerned I might have missed something.

These are the reasons why I believe the Paeds is wrong:

1. She goes to Nursery and although still in the toddler room and not the rising 3 room (2.5-3 room is Rising 3s) she is empathetic. If her friend falls over she'll go over, give him/her a cuddle and pat them on the back. Similarly MILs dog hurt her paw last week and DD sat in the dog bed with her stroking her face.

1. We have no issues with food. She eats everything, and doesn't actively dislike anything. She has the usual toddler fussiness of eating broccoli one week and hating it the next, but she goes back to liking it within a few days/weeks and she moves onto disliking something else. She eats a good amount, and is maintaining her weight.

1. Although non-verbal her understanding is fantastic. If you ask her to go and get a cup from the cupboard she will go and get her cup.

1. She sleeps at night. She wakes up 2-3 times a night but my understanding is this is normal for a toddler due to nightmares/being too hot or cold/needing a nappy changed etc She settles quickly when I go into her and has whole weeks where she doesn't wake me in the night at all.

1. She forms attachments with other people. She will smile if you ask her about her grandparents, friends at Nursery, keyworker etc. She will also give them hugs, or go to them for comfort if I'm not around and she hurts herself.

1. We have no behaviour issues. Nursery say she's well behaved and a pleasure to be around, they've used their behaviour policy on her once or twice a term since she started and they said that's not a huge worry as every child needs it using occasionally. At home she tantrums like a normal toddler but these last 2-3 minutes at most they may last 10 minutes which isn't excessive. Health Visitor has watched her tantrum she happened to be here when DD tantrummed over something once and says they're no extreme or anything to be worried about.

1. She has obsession but not to the point that she's not bothered by anything else. She's like any 2 year old, loves Peppa Pig, will happily watch it but if you give her a toy to play she's happy with that. She also has her favourite cuddly toy with her all the time but Nursery say that's normal and he (the toy is a boy, she gets upset if you say it or she when referring to it) sits next to her on a chair/against the wall while she colours/paints/does whatever and then she'll give him a quick cuddle as they move between rooms/activities, similarly at home she's happy for him to sit nearby while she plays/colours.

1. She is starting to develop an imagination. I know this will have been delayed due to the GDD, but she will put her dolls on the back of her unicorns and they'll go for a ride. She cooks us meals on the play kitchen, if you put a doll in the bath with her she'll give the doll a wash.

So MN am I way off the mark here and DD is actually autistic and I'm too blind to see it? Or is the Paeds wrong?

I accept that the paeds wants a cause for the GDD but in this case I'm not sure there is one, I think it's just one of those things.

Some people who have Autism are over emphatic

I'm Autistic. I'm also overly emphatic and scarily good at analysing people. I'm the one people go to for advice because I'm really good at seeing things from other people's perceptive.

I also hum and rock (( in private )) and have some traits that put me at the more severe end of the scale......my children also have Autism and are both very, different

Personally I'd just go with the diagnosis. It can only be a good thing for your daughter

What does the SALT think? my 2.5 is non-verbal and paed thinks definitely autism (on the basis of two 20 minute meetings, we are waiting for ados) SALT (who was highly recommended by paed) thinks not autism but delay and she sees him regularly but is not qualified to diagnose.

None of us can say weather or not your child has autism, but please keep in mind the general public has a perception which is outdated and generally wrong.

What you need to ask yourself is what harm will following the lead of the peaditrians do?

The benefits of early intervention are very well documented so imo not taking the chance to investigate further will potentially be much more “harmful” than taking it

Kleenex. My dd would also point at things in books. She wasn't verbal until she was 4 but her reading age was normal.

She'd point at books and bring stories for me to read.

It's actually very hard to get a diagnosis of Autism, is paed has seen something then I'd roll with it.

SALT thinks she might have a language or speech disorder but has never mentioned Autism. SALT said she was shy when they first met but that's normal, once DD realised she was good fun she signs to her happily and smiles at her.

I had one with GDD at 2.5 who rapidly developed speech and was talking at 3. muscle tone and motor skills remained poor but in "normal" range now. People now thinking dyspraxia, but was a (latish) prem baby so who knows. There are a hell of a lot more "who knows" parents around but autism tends to dominate people's thinking because many autistic kids initially present as GDD. One of the reasons autism was ruled out for my kid at assessment was "referencing", i.e. at the appointment he kept looking at me and trying to share his interest in things with me, although he never pointed and had echolalia !

My son has global developmental delay and is now 7. There were certainly red flags for autism when he was younger - I think due to the fact that his speech delay was very isolating. These concerns have abated as he has grown and started speaking and is more engaged and keen to socialise. I never thought he was on the spectrum but I think it's best to keep an open mind to ensure you don't miss anything - esp. the opportunity to get support in that area if it's needed. There's a checklist for signs if you Google it. I found that helpful. I'm curious as to why the paediatrician thinks she is. In any case I wouldn't rule anything out - just keep a close eye and make sure she has the support she needs. You know your child but sometimes we don't pick up on everything. She sounds lovely btw. One of my son's speech therapists said to me - 'I know you worry and of course you will but don't forget to enjoy him' and I always try to do that. Good luck with it all... x

Its impossible to say from what you've said.

I think if the Paed continues to tell you that they think ASC is a possibility, it is definitely worth you going for further assessments.

Fwiw, my DS didn't have any developmental delays at all, is and always was imaginative and with good eye contact, in fact really didnt display many of the stereotypical autism traits. He was diagnosed with ASC in his reception year.

Keep an open mind and don't be afraid. Wether she has autism or not, she sounds lovely and any diagnosis will just be about getting her the correct support and helping her (down the line) to understand herself.

You will definitely want something in place for when she starts school and it takes ages to get a diagnosis sometimes.

Ds, who has severe autism, knew all his letters before he started nursery. He could identify numbers up to 100. He is still non-verbal at 23.

Junior DD looks at me in appointments, she has hearing tests regularly to rule that out as a cause of the nonverbalism (right word?) and she'll do what she's asked them point at me then at the activitiy then go back to doing what she was doing.

She might be looking at you to feed off cues you give about how to react.

I can’t say if your dd does have autism or not but having worked in a pre-school setting I’d say not liking the wind and having a ‘thing’ about wanting to wear certain items of clothing is entirely normal for a 2-3 year old. Wind in your face can make you feel breathless if it’s strong and even if it’s not strong, some kids (and adults) don’t like th feel of it. If those are the only examples of possible sensory issues your dd has then I’d want to ask her consultant what, apart from these, makes them consider ASD. I know she has GDD but surely not every instance if that also means a child has ADD?

Imo, the autistic spectrum is less a spectrum ranging from less autistic more autistic, more like picking lots of different points around a colour wheel and saying "these things are quite a lot like me, quite a lot of the time". It isn't straightforward, it isn't linear.

2.8 is still very young, especially when you take the GDD into account. I could see why you might want to wait a little longer before concluding that autism is what's going on. Pp have given some excellent advice - autism does seem to present differently in girls, so an absence of the 'classic' symptoms does not disprove the paediatrician's view.

Ultimately, you need to have a discussion with the paed about "What difference will a diagnosis make at this stage?" If none, then maybe revisit an assessment in a year to 18 months. If it means her being able to access better support, then I would go for it.

Autism changes as the child changes, you may well find yourself needing to access support in the future.

Please don't be like the parents of one young person I knew, who were told by a range of professionals that their dc (starting at age 6) displayed all the classic signs of autism. They didn't want DC labelled, which was understandable, but their reluctance meant dc didn't get appropriate support until age 15, by which time dc was miserable, anxious, in trouble at school, and lonely. (Things started looking up when DC did get help, if people are desperate for a happy ending, but they could have been happier much sooner.)

Captain

He was giving examples of why my dd wasn't autistic and would never meet the criteria for diagnosis. He used empathy as part of his explanation along with other traits such as her imagination. I'm not saying that he said people on the spectrum can't be empathetic merely that in his respected opinion my dd wasn't and empathy was one of the reasons in conjunction with others.

As I said he's the head doc with decades of experience. I'll take his word for it.

OP I have been in your position where a professional (in my case the nursery) have suggested my child be autistic. Cue me scouring the internet and scrutizing my child to the highest degree. I was going mad examining every behaviour and referring to every list. Like you, I didn't think my child had autism. I raised this with the nursery and they listened. Since then they have re assessed him and he has caught up and now they do not think is autistic. Maybe her global development delay in raising eyebrows in the direction of Autism?

As I said he's the head doc with decades of experience. I'll take his word for it
Good for you.

It doesn't change the fact he is wrong in regards to lack of empathy.

A friends son never started talking till he was 3. He's 6 now and doing well at school. He is not autistic. It was also suggested to them that he might be autistic.

APig Her Nursery have never mentioned Autism and we see the HV regularly due to the GDD but she's never mentioned it either. I am guessing the GDD is causing the paeds to think it's Autism.

She is still very young, if there are no serious issues than just wait and see. That could be explained by her developmental delay.

There's always one

I agree with others. No harm done if she outgrows the delays and starts speaking but I wouldn't rule anything out at this stage? My son is 3 and we have been told he possibly has autism and sensory processing disorder. At 3 they will not commit to a diagnosis. (Which is fine by me) but although you are happy with nursery supporting her now I would encourage you to keep the paediatrician in place for when she starts school if she hasn't improved unless they discharge her before then. She sounds like a lovely happy little girl

I have a child who is now nearly 6 and was diagnosed with ASD at 3.6 years. At your child's age, he was displaying very few of the difficulties that he now has. Things have changed a lot in that time, including many difficulties coming to the fore, but he is now verbal.

You have nothing to lose by allowing her to go in the path to assessment for ASD. The assessment has many elements and it can take a couple of years in some areas to complete. In our area, it was 8 months from referral to diagnosis. She will not be diagnosed with ASD unless she is on the autism spectrum.

She sounds lovely. Enjoy being her mum for now. I know you're worried, I was terrified as to what the future held for my son. But I was never blind to what was in front of me, and that helped me a lot, I think. I knew that he has ASD well before he was diagnosed. I wanted him to be diagnosed so that there was a better chance of him accessing what he needed. Incidentally, his speech and language therapist didn't think he had ASD and neither did the owner and leader if a special needs nursery with 30 odd years experience. I am a big believer in trusting what parents think, so I would never dismiss what your instincts are. Trust your judgement, but be open to the views of others too, would be my advice.

My DS met all developmental milestones, has empathy, strong family bonds, is a good sleeper etc and has been diagnosed with ASD aged 9. Everyone presents differently. If your paediatrician thinks your DD May have ASD surely it's worth fully investigating even if only to rule it out.

To agree with pretty much everyone else, looking at your list, my son, now aged 8 with a diagnosis of ASD:

1. was as a toddler and still is very empathetic
2. had no food issues as a toddler and will still eat a good range of foods
3. had as a toddler and still has complete understanding of instructions etc
4. slept well as a toddler and still sleeps through the night
5. formed attachments with others and still does
6. had no 'behavioural issues' as a toddler
7. has favourites but not obsessions over toys
8. plays with huge imagination

He also had speech and language issues and found a windy day almost intolerable leading a hearing test which found nothing untoward. So despite that list of 1-8, he is very very clearly autistic, and I would have loved for a paediatrician to have shared my concerns at an early age. It might be early days for your daughter, it may or may not be ASD, but as she gets older if other traits emerge you will be absolutely desperate to find help, support and a diagnosis of something, so keep your paed on board.