To think my toddler isn't "showing signs of autism"? (Possible triggering)

[KleenexNeeded]

My DD is 2.8 and has a global developmental delay of 9-12 months, she's non verbal, has met all milestones including physical ones late. The paediatrician says she's showing signs of autism/ASD but I think he's wrong.

Sorry if this offends anyone. I'm just concerned I might have missed something.

These are the reasons why I believe the Paeds is wrong:

1. She goes to Nursery and although still in the toddler room and not the rising 3 room (2.5-3 room is Rising 3s) she is empathetic. If her friend falls over she'll go over, give him/her a cuddle and pat them on the back. Similarly MILs dog hurt her paw last week and DD sat in the dog bed with her stroking her face.

1. We have no issues with food. She eats everything, and doesn't actively dislike anything. She has the usual toddler fussiness of eating broccoli one week and hating it the next, but she goes back to liking it within a few days/weeks and she moves onto disliking something else. She eats a good amount, and is maintaining her weight.

1. Although non-verbal her understanding is fantastic. If you ask her to go and get a cup from the cupboard she will go and get her cup.

1. She sleeps at night. She wakes up 2-3 times a night but my understanding is this is normal for a toddler due to nightmares/being too hot or cold/needing a nappy changed etc She settles quickly when I go into her and has whole weeks where she doesn't wake me in the night at all.

1. She forms attachments with other people. She will smile if you ask her about her grandparents, friends at Nursery, keyworker etc. She will also give them hugs, or go to them for comfort if I'm not around and she hurts herself.

1. We have no behaviour issues. Nursery say she's well behaved and a pleasure to be around, they've used their behaviour policy on her once or twice a term since she started and they said that's not a huge worry as every child needs it using occasionally. At home she tantrums like a normal toddler but these last 2-3 minutes at most they may last 10 minutes which isn't excessive. Health Visitor has watched her tantrum she happened to be here when DD tantrummed over something once and says they're no extreme or anything to be worried about.

1. She has obsession but not to the point that she's not bothered by anything else. She's like any 2 year old, loves Peppa Pig, will happily watch it but if you give her a toy to play she's happy with that. She also has her favourite cuddly toy with her all the time but Nursery say that's normal and he (the toy is a boy, she gets upset if you say it or she when referring to it) sits next to her on a chair/against the wall while she colours/paints/does whatever and then she'll give him a quick cuddle as they move between rooms/activities, similarly at home she's happy for him to sit nearby while she plays/colours.

1. She is starting to develop an imagination. I know this will have been delayed due to the GDD, but she will put her dolls on the back of her unicorns and they'll go for a ride. She cooks us meals on the play kitchen, if you put a doll in the bath with her she'll give the doll a wash.

So MN am I way off the mark here and DD is actually autistic and I'm too blind to see it? Or is the Paeds wrong?

I accept that the paeds wants a cause for the GDD but in this case I'm not sure there is one, I think it's just one of those things.

What is "possible triggering" ?

As she already has SN then I really would accept the diagnosis.

The diagnosis means extra support, the support you get is good for any child regardless of disability. It won't hold her back in anyway.

And if it turns out she doesn't have Autsim then no harm will have been done. Bit children don't stay small forever. This may well change as your daughter gets older.

They can get it wrong. They did with us. One professional kept insisting my dd was autistic at 3. I did an awful lot of research and it didn't fit with me.

Now at 11 it's been completely ruled out by various other HCPs and she has a diagnosis of a language disorder.

We were told that you wouldnt get a diagnosis of autism if they showed signs of things such as empathy and imagination as it meant it wouldn't fit the diagnostic triad. Trust your instinct

If we read, she'll help turn the pages and points stuff out in the book to me, so I can say "can you show me the cow?" and she'll point to the cow. Due to being nonverbal she can't tell you about the story but I'm sure she understands.

She will sometimes bring me a book and sits with me to have it read to her.

Addy everyone is NOT on the spectrum somewhere that's a really unhelpful comment hence the reason its called an autistic spectrum disorder/condition and there has to be a triad of impairments to get a diagnosis .

Yes, it sounds like the GDD is the actual main issue and therefore paediatrician loling for a cause which could be autism. It’s such a wide ranging diagnosis.

My DC was suspected to have autism by the school (sensory behaviour, low attention span, writing not matching verbal ability) but has not been diagnosed (they called in the local social and communication behaviour team to assess him). He may be at some point but certainly I can’t see much to be gained by a diagnosis unless it gets him help, which so far it doesn’t seem to be ‘severe’ enough to do. My niece is very low functioning, no speech at nearly 6, other learning difficulties, very much in her own world. It’s amazing how broad and varied the spectrum is and very very hard to diagnose when there’s anything else going on (as there often is) or if the child isn’t affected in as many areas.

Why would possible autism be potentially triggering? It’s not like someone has died or been abused. Maybe I am overly sensitive, but

DS has quite obvious autistic traits and sensory needs; he is also empathetic and outgoing (he doesn’t get social boundaries though). But he is who he is - not needing a trigger warning, I don’t think.

She sounds adorable 😊

I’m curious, like the others, what else they said or why they’re thinking that, other than simply because she has GDD.

Nothing you’ve said rules it in or out, it’s very personal and very different in females (most info out there is about how males present).

Have you been side swiped by this because you thought once she’d ‘caught up’ then that would be that, but now you’re being told she might have issues that are ongoing?

We were told that you wouldnt get a diagnosis of autism if they showed signs of things such as empathy and imagination as it meant it wouldn't fit the diagnostic triad.

You were told wrong, there is nothing in diagnostic criteria ot the triads about empathy.

Paediatrician looking for a cause.

Not one of your above reasons excludes the possibility of autism. Having no empathy is a myth, my ds is autistic and a lovely caring boy who always asks if I am ok. He struggles to see situations from the perspective of others but that doesn't mean he isn't upset when someone is ill/ injured/ upset. He too has lovely bonds with me, dh, dd, my dp and adores all of us. (He is definitely autistic.) He struggles socially with his peers. The imaginative play you mention is not actually imaginative, ds was forever making cake and tea in our play kitchen. But he was never imaginatively playing with it.

A paediatrician has told you that your little girl shows signs of autism. I know how hard that is to hear but the paediatrician has experience of working with autistic children. Look online for books on autism, read everything you can. The important thing to do now is to support your daughter and make things easier for her.

Look into sensory sensitivities, sensory seeking/ sensory avoiding behaviours. There are fantastic apps on the iPad that can help your dd communicate. There are also great apps for creating visual schedules which can be so helpful too.

Have a look online at the national autistic society. They have a fantastic helpline with trained individuals who can help you understand autism and discuss your concerns.

My son is autistic (diagnosed)
His obsessions are cyclical
He is empathetic to a fault
He needs routine
Chooses not to speak to other kids
His understanding has always beeen great as is his imagination.
He constantly raising philosophical questions, his latest query us whether heaven is in space and is eternity infinity?

He is an utter pleasure and totally fascinating. Yes, Seeing him struggle socially is tough. His eating issues literally came on overnight. His obsessions change rapidly. He is exhausting.

Much of what's frightening about autism is the unpredictability.

I worked in an autism assessment unit for years and nothing you have stated would allow a professional to rule out autism particularly in girls who are able to mask and hide it better than boys due to mimicking typical social behaviours and interactions ... this is not to say that your child has autism but nothing you have stated would definitely rule it out. Being none verbal at 21/2 is a huge red flag I’m afraid.

Pointing at cows in books - my Dniece can do that too but I suppose the bit in the behaviour that seems particularly autistic is that she won’t do it unless asked, and doesn’t have an interest in pointing or communicating about her world. She can follow instructions but doesn’t really want to most of the time.

Captain

Well that was from the head psychiatrist at our CYPS with more than 30 years experience under his belt so I'm happy to accept his word on it.

I'm clearly no expert but I often think that unless there's really obvious signs along with a healthy dose of instinct that developmental disorders must be a loose diagnosis until a certain age. Like you say toddlers are fickle and there's a huge list of behaviours that are typical across the board while they're figuring out the world.

Is there a particular reason (excuse my ignorance) why there needs to be a diagnosis at all this age or is it a case of needing a label to access support? Like pp have said there is likely something behind her delays but I think in your shoes I would be reluctant to accept a diagnosis I had doubts over in case it affected reaching the correct one later on.

Well that was from the head psychiatrist at our CYPS with more than 30 years experience under his belt so I'm happy to accept his word on it

He's wrong, empathy isn't even an autism triad.

My dd has empathy to the point of neglecting her own needs sometimes. She's never been a fussy eater. She had no behavioural issues at school. She still has Aspergers though.

Don't rule it out. Having a diagnosis of something can help enormously when it comes to accessing appropriate help and funding at school.

"Everyone is on the spectrum somewhere, after all."

No. This is wrong. Everybody on the autism spectrum is autistic.

Do you have any other children OP? Even if you do your experience is limited & I would suggest a Paedeatrician has far more experience of this than you do. I know it's hard to hear. My ds was diagnosed with Autism at 3 & the dx later changed to Aspergers. Even if you're not happy I would accept the dx as it opens doors to the help you will need.

Her Nursery are private and happy to continue to support her without additional funding so there's no need for a diagnosis yet.

Paeds says she has sensory issues but like I said I don't see it. When I asked for a specific example of a sensory problem/issue he said about the wind and the tshirts, but I mean some days I look at Tshirt and think "I don't want to wear that" so I'd say it's normal.

I honestly think he's looking for a cause when there may not be one.

Many things have changed In 30 years classifications surrounding autism is one of them.

No other children and knowledge is very limited as there's no other children her age in the family.

It's possible to be able to do all those things and have autism.

She points at things in the book herself as well, but won't say them. So if it's a story about unicorns she'll point at the unicorn.