To think my toddler isn't "showing signs of autism"? (Possible triggering)

[KleenexNeeded]

My DD is 2.8 and has a global developmental delay of 9-12 months, she's non verbal, has met all milestones including physical ones late. The paediatrician says she's showing signs of autism/ASD but I think he's wrong.

Sorry if this offends anyone. I'm just concerned I might have missed something.

These are the reasons why I believe the Paeds is wrong:

1. She goes to Nursery and although still in the toddler room and not the rising 3 room (2.5-3 room is Rising 3s) she is empathetic. If her friend falls over she'll go over, give him/her a cuddle and pat them on the back. Similarly MILs dog hurt her paw last week and DD sat in the dog bed with her stroking her face.

1. We have no issues with food. She eats everything, and doesn't actively dislike anything. She has the usual toddler fussiness of eating broccoli one week and hating it the next, but she goes back to liking it within a few days/weeks and she moves onto disliking something else. She eats a good amount, and is maintaining her weight.

1. Although non-verbal her understanding is fantastic. If you ask her to go and get a cup from the cupboard she will go and get her cup.

1. She sleeps at night. She wakes up 2-3 times a night but my understanding is this is normal for a toddler due to nightmares/being too hot or cold/needing a nappy changed etc She settles quickly when I go into her and has whole weeks where she doesn't wake me in the night at all.

1. She forms attachments with other people. She will smile if you ask her about her grandparents, friends at Nursery, keyworker etc. She will also give them hugs, or go to them for comfort if I'm not around and she hurts herself.

1. We have no behaviour issues. Nursery say she's well behaved and a pleasure to be around, they've used their behaviour policy on her once or twice a term since she started and they said that's not a huge worry as every child needs it using occasionally. At home she tantrums like a normal toddler but these last 2-3 minutes at most they may last 10 minutes which isn't excessive. Health Visitor has watched her tantrum she happened to be here when DD tantrummed over something once and says they're no extreme or anything to be worried about.

1. She has obsession but not to the point that she's not bothered by anything else. She's like any 2 year old, loves Peppa Pig, will happily watch it but if you give her a toy to play she's happy with that. She also has her favourite cuddly toy with her all the time but Nursery say that's normal and he (the toy is a boy, she gets upset if you say it or she when referring to it) sits next to her on a chair/against the wall while she colours/paints/does whatever and then she'll give him a quick cuddle as they move between rooms/activities, similarly at home she's happy for him to sit nearby while she plays/colours.

1. She is starting to develop an imagination. I know this will have been delayed due to the GDD, but she will put her dolls on the back of her unicorns and they'll go for a ride. She cooks us meals on the play kitchen, if you put a doll in the bath with her she'll give the doll a wash.

So MN am I way off the mark here and DD is actually autistic and I'm too blind to see it? Or is the Paeds wrong?

I accept that the paeds wants a cause for the GDD but in this case I'm not sure there is one, I think it's just one of those things.

For the record my ds 6 is like that, he has a developmental delay, speech delay. He also has an older sister who is Autistic, developmental delay etc, so learns some behaviours from her. As he gets older I can see him so different to dd, and is on a NT pathway. He is like me, a slow burner, I was very behind academically and social at school, and in time i caught up, now I have some very good friends and an Msc Health Psychology. At that age, unless there are very obvious issues, its very early to tell.

My Ds slept well , ate well, had imagination, played with others, had empathy, made good eye contact, early talker , met all milestones early . Diagnosed early teens when other things became apparent. It's a spectrum , not a life sentence . Being aware of the things he finds challenging has only opened more doors for him.
Good luck x

Autism is a spectrum, my 4 year old is being assessed by the multi agency team for autism at the end of this month/March time so we can get an ECHP before he goes up to school, he is the complete opposite to your DD but my brother is aspergers and you could have been describing him when you're talking about your DD

My DS (10) has all the above. And has autism although the camhs service team said it’s slight autism he only has a few of the traits. It’s hard to tell and for me it was hard to believe I just kept saying it was the hormones. I’ve accepted it now Me and my mum are the only ones who can calm him when he does have a meltdown.

WillYou many many doctors have rejected the lack of empathy/ASD link. Especially in girls. More women are being dx on the spectrum after previously being diagnosed and treated for a myriad of different things. So please take it from someone who has seen many doctors with many years experience, children with ASD have empathy. They may not know how or how not to express it but they have it.

When children are very young the differences are often pretty subtle so easy to not notice, I remember ds was assessed at nursery by a specialist teacher from the lea when he was about 3 who pretty much categorically told me ds delay wasn’t autism, by the age of 4 it was blindingly obvious he is autistic and he was finally diagnosed a few days before his 7th birthday.

At 8 those differences aren’t so subtle and I am pleased we were able to identity the autism relatively young because it helps massively in understanding ds and helping us both access support.

Even if she isn’t autistic I found the diagnosis process quite an educational one because of its nature it looks closely at the child and what works for them and what doesn’t.

I could say all those things about my son too. He is autistic. Check the diagnostic criteria for autism, they don't include any of the issues you raise in your OP.

I have a toddler who displays the way you describe and is currently being referred for assessment. Her older sister has autism (very obvious classic autism from a very young age) I also have autism although much more on the side of my toddler (I am empathetic etc etc)

Because I am on the spectrum and also her sister there is an increased likelihood she will be as well. I'm in two minds about it but in my heart I do think she will be given a diagnosis.

The spectrum is vast. Your toddler may not be autistic. But just because they do the things you mention doesn't mean they aren't either.

Denial won’t help

it will not alter whether you allow assessment or not. assessment does not give autism and not assessing doesnt take it away.

I wish I had appreciated this sooner.

You could be describing my 3yo son here, who almost certainly does have autism (he's currently being assessed).

He has speech delay and plays repetitively. He loves adults and forms attachments with them, but is less bothered about children his own age. He's very empathetic and quick to notice if somebody he loves is worried or sad, he'll come up to you and hug you. He sleeps very well, and always has.

But it's a spectrum, remember. So yes your DD may be autistic, but able to live a relatively 'normal' life (whatever that is).

As p.p have said, there is no definitive list of what autistic children are like. At 2, my dd empathetic, excelled at expressing herself and had no sleep or food issues. For those reasons, it did not occur to me she could be autistic.

Between 2 and 4 it gradually became clear she wasn't developing normally.

At 6, she has just been diagnosed as autistic and it was no surprise.

Your paediatrician may or may not be right, but keep an open mind.

It's scary at first, but try not to see assessment (and diagnosis) as a negative thing for your DD. She is as she's always been, and won't change just because she has a written report labelling her with a certain condition.

The label is important though, because it opens doors to support and therapy. It will also allow her nursery and school to give her what she needs.

She sounds like a fab little girl, and I promise you that isn't under threat!

While autism is a scary word, denying it isn't helpful.

Take comfort in the amount of posters who are telling you they have an ASD. they are clearly functional enough to post here and tell you about it.

the word autism won't change who she is or who she is going to be

The empathy and imagination thing is one of the reasons why autism is frequently under diagnosed in girls. It should be less common now than previously because it's more accepted among health professionals that girls with autism frequently present differently and often show empathy and/or imagination.

Your DD sounds very similar to my niece at that age. She was later diagnosed with autism. Nothing you've said really rules autism in or out in your DD's case.

It was suggested to me by relatives and a teacher that my daughter might be autistic at age 3. I didn't think she was she was similar to your daughter but verbal (although quite around others).
I would say keep an open mind now she is older she shows more signs of autism (difficulty understanding more complex social interactions, a need for regime) since reading up on women/girls with autism I realised they hide it better and show it in different ways, we are now affectively pursuing a diagnosis.
I have several friends who were diagnosed in adulthood they suffered extreme mental distress going undiagnosed. If there's any possibility you owe it to your daughter's future mental health to explore that.

I had to laugh at the poster who said her niece could follow instructions- she just didn't. This describes me perfectly as a child!
I was also very imaginative - too much perhaps. Very empathic - about things I felt deeply is when my dog ripped up my teddy bear, I was devastated. But couldn't read other people and was always looking for the 'right' reaction.
Not everyone is on the spectrum - yawn. But she sounds a delightful child.

My DS is so empathetic he just ran into my arms crying because Elsa hit Anna with her magic in Frozen - he feels things very deeply. And I love him for it.

I also find myself triumphing when he achieves tiny things, this weekend he mastered drinking from a carton with a straw. It felt like he'd learned algebra or something!

There is still so so much joy to be had in parenting an autistic child.

I was incredibly imaginative. And empathetic - if anything I feel emotions too keenly and don't know what to do with it. I was misdiagnosed as having lots of mental health issues until I was given a ASD diagnosis in my 20s. Getting a diagnosis at a young age if autism is there really is a good thing

Could be autism.
Might not be.
Your dd sounds gorgeous.
A small child sitting in a dog’s bed stroking the face of an injured dog is asking for a bite.

She sounds like a lovely little girl op and all the things you've said sound totally normal for a toddler. Go with your gut instinct as you know her better than anyone but do still take her for tests if you have any doubts in your mind

Have you watched this programme? It features a young toddler who is eventually diagnosed with Autism - however her traits are very very subtle.

ASD presents very differently in girls.........its really worth a watch.

Sorry!!! Heres the link

www.channel4.com/programmes/born-naughty/on-demand/57326-002