Welcome to the People's Republic of Mumsnet

[GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz]

Hello everyone.
Welcome to the People's Republic of Mumsnet. The republic is currently without a government, so we'll need to start getting organised.

I invite you to put yourself forward for any given position, taking care to elaborate on why you consider yourself suitable for the role.

I've currently appointed myself as Republic Designer, a temporary role that expires as soon as a President is elected.

Positions we will need to fill:
President
Vice President
Minister of Culture
Minister of External Affairs
Minister of Women
Minister of Snacks

Feel free to make your case for a role, propose new roles, and explore what other things we may need to put in place to become a well respected republic with international clout.

Ah ha! Bad ass bitch. We have a head of army. Right, I’ll be in my club.

If you have to ask where I was schooled, well, just look at my signet ring and tie darling.

I have jammy dodgers...and tea cakes

And a really strong coffee we could deffo use as a weapon

I would like to be Head Gardener.

[It means I will know where the bodies are buried].

Ta.

I live in the US. You'll save on travel costs.

Is this dictator white? Muslim? Those things will make a difference in the current political climate in the US, I'm afraid...

I'm looking at summer camps for DD now. Is there Dictator Camp? I want to send her if there is.

I make good popcorn so I'd better be I.C. that so everyone can sit back and eat it while arguments proceed.

And the spaniels could asphyxiate them with the sheer disgusting pong after they've rolled in foxpoo...

Don't mind me

@glitter

These are some of my latest recruits. All in fine form. They shall require you to provide large amounts of raw meat or else they tend to get handsy with their keepers, unfortunately.

No one is going to eat a jammy dodger when there are sausages around

Will there be a Minister for Meh? And if so will applying for the role demonstrate a lack of aptitude?

I definitely need a lion. Just to rest my hand on the head of when I greet new ministers.

I'll do PR.

And sleep with unsuitable junior staff members please.

@TheNoseyProject

You’ll want Basil for that one then.

Hang on the dictator has already left?

Fuck my department has already fucked up. I blame Jenkins - he's a bit too wet behind the ears. Someone sack Jenkins and bring in some fresh meat.

I'd like to propose myself as the Lord Chief Justice of AIBU.

My years of hoiking my judgeypants up around my ever expanding waist make me perfectly qualified to arbitrate on squabbles and have the final say on who IBU and who INBU.

What I say goes and anyone found in contempt of court will be exiled to the wilderness of ...... Dadsnet

Can I be Head Lurker, please?

Oh, and I was never here...

I suggest we let the cats take charge says she in charge of the cats

Where did the Minister for MILs? Couldn’t we set an army of MILs to take back the nation? They could subdue her with passive aggressive remarks about her parenting.

Trouble is they might want to hang around and have their own coup...

Basil. Yes a lovely ring to that!

Can I be Minister for Derring-Don't? I will advocate caution and spare socks.

I'd also like to be on the Happy Cats Committee and work under Minister of Snacks as her official baked goods taster.

Right, I'm back. I am of course in charge of the military lions.

All paperwork is banned. The queen is banned too. So are all so-called ministers.

(Hands Steely a tray of lemon drizzle cake slices)

Would the Minister for lost school jumpers be also willing to take on the brief for lost socks? I do believe it will require travel to the parallel universe where all these things end up...

Quick, she hasn’t banned cats yet. Bring out the lions!!!!