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AIBU?

Should I LTB, ditch the friend, or both?

150 replies

ScotInExile · 08/02/2018 23:11

DH has no self control when it comes to chocolate/crisps/biscuits etc. so we just don't buy them very often as he will happily eat the whole packet before I've even had a sniff of them.

I was talking to a mutual friend about my craving for some lovely chocolate but that I was unwilling to buy it and bring it into the house as I knew DH would eat it all before I got a chance to even taste it. The next time I met up with mutual friend he kindly gave me a large bar of my favourite chocolate and suggested I should hide it from DH so I could nibble on it when I felt like it. So I put it in a cupboard that he rarely looks in and over a week or so just popped a little square in my mouth when I felt like it.

DH went for drinks with same mutual friend a couple of evenings ago and for some unknown reason mutual friend told him about my secret chocolate stash. DH came home and went through the cupboards looking for it, found what was left and ate it all. Now I have no chocolate. WIBU to LTB?

OP posts:

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ScotInExile · 08/02/2018 23:44

Yes, it's lighthearted, but is mildly irritating, especially as our DD also has to hide her sweets from him (she also doesn't have a massive sweet tooth so still has sweets leftover from Halloween and Christmas that DH would have finished long ago if he knew where she kept them). I don't eat a lot of chocolate but when I fancy some it's nice to have it on hand.

DH isn't overweight or unhealthy but as he gets older his chocolate and crisp binges will start to catch up with him which is why we just don't buy that stuff very often.

I've always known this is what DH is like but I was surprised and disappointed with mutual friend grassing me up for having a secret stash (that he provided!).

OP posts:

PotatoesOfTheCarribean · 08/02/2018 23:46

Have you ever just told him he's a greedy twat?

AnUtterIdiot · 08/02/2018 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnUtterIdiot · 08/02/2018 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Worldsworstcook · 08/02/2018 23:51

You need a new hiding spot. Weetabix boxes or shredded wheat. No one ever eats those

Cavender · 09/02/2018 00:02

I’m quite appalled that you only think this is “mildly irritating”.

He searched all the cupboards till he found it?

That’s mean. Really really mean.

It’s indicative of a deeply selfish personality.

Mxyzptlk · 09/02/2018 00:10

It's super mean and selfish that he would steal DD's sweets.
Have you tackled him about it?

lookingforthedroids · 09/02/2018 00:11

DD has never forgiven DH for eating her chocolate bar that she brought home from a school trip to France.

Weezol · 09/02/2018 00:20

He steals his own child's sweets? Have you checked her piggy bank recently?

That's a fuck tonne more than 'mildly irritating'.

ScotInExile · 09/02/2018 00:23

Mxyzptlk yes, we have spoken about it many times. He thinks that as DD doesn't eat sweets very often she wouldn't even notice that he'd had some. He ate a whole chocolate bunny of hers at Easter a few years ago which made us both extremely pissed off and is what led to her hiding her sweets from him now.

It has become somewhat of a joke in the house now, 'better hide that quick before daddy eats it', with DH pretending to chase her down for her sweets. He's never really gone searching for them though, respecting that they're hers, but will ask her now and again if he can have one.

My chocolate stash on the other hand appears to be fair game...

OP posts:

Mrskeats · 09/02/2018 00:26

Is this real? Beyond odd.

GatoradeMeBitch · 09/02/2018 00:29

DH isn't overweight or unhealthy but as he gets older his chocolate and crisp binges will start to catch up with him which is why we just don't buy that stuff very often

I'd say that's his problem. If he doesn't have the self discipline to not pig out, why should you suffer. Pack the cupboards out with chocolate. He physically won't be able to eat it all. Problem solved.

lovelystar · 09/02/2018 00:30

I wouldn't leave him over it but definitely have some kind of serious conversation about it, seems like he's almost doing it to spite you because if he wanted his own that badly he'd go out and buy it? I dunno what to suggest I'm usually the one struggling with my self control

GatoradeMeBitch · 09/02/2018 00:39

if he wanted his own that badly he'd go out and buy it?

It is odd - why not stop at a shop or petrol station on the way home? The fact that he had to have what was hers and what he knew she had deliberately hidden from him is dickish. Very possibly a few control issues there.

Really OP, buy all the chocolate. Let him eat himself sick, he might learn something!

RedDogsBeg · 09/02/2018 00:41

Lighthearted or not I tend to agree with AF and Potatoes greed like your dh's is a most unappealing trait.

GnotherGnu · 09/02/2018 00:45

Good grief, he'd steal sweets from his daughter? You seriously need to stop treating this as a joke and make it clear that it is absolutely unacceptable. As people have pointed out, you can bet he manages to restrain himself from stealing sweets from people at work, or when he visits friends, or indeed when going around the shops - because he knows he wouldn't get away with it.

tealandteal · 09/02/2018 00:53

The problem is not that he has no self control or he would be eating colleagues food and going out and buying it for himself. The problem is that he has no respect for you and little for your DD. I think it was very cruel to deliberately hunt through the cupboards and deprive you of your treat.

Charolais · 09/02/2018 00:57

He is not your friend - especially if it was Galaxy.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/02/2018 00:57

Sorry but that was a dick move. He isn't a chocolate addict who can't help it. He deliberately came and took your chocolate to punish you for hiding it.

cantsleepclownwilleatme · 09/02/2018 01:08

That's such a weird thing to do. Someone tells your husband that you've hidden your chocolate because it's your favourite and don't want him to eat it - so he goes home and immediately looks for it and eats it.
That's just fucking
It's almost like an up yours - you think you can eat chocolate without me!
Fucking odd, seriously.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/02/2018 01:17

I think you're minimising the level of disrespect your husband has for you and your chocolate.

Your friend almost certainly couldn't have realised that your dick husband would have gone and deliberately found your chocolate, purely to scoff it all, or I doubt he would have actually told him. He probably thought you were over-egging the situation and told your H as a bit of a laugh.

So what would I do going forward - well first off I'd tell the friend what his loose tongue caused to happen but that would be all I'd say to him. Your H though - another matter. I'd be tearing strips off him and making him a) replace your chocolate, b) eating ALL of it in front of him without offering him any and c) making DAMN sure he never found any chocolate again!

Selfish greedy fucker that he is

musicposy · 09/02/2018 01:22

At least it's chocolate and relatively cheap.

I have to hide batteries from DH . I have a large secret stash of AAs.

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MrsMcGarry · 09/02/2018 01:22

I have terrible insomnia when ill and sometimes, like tonight when I can't sleep , I need to eat something. I have just raided a bag of Haribo's in the larder that ds bought. I'm slightly ashamed of my lack of self - discipline.

However, because I am a nice human who respects others, I will go out of my way tomorrow to buy another bag of Haribo's. When ds comes back from his Dad's he will probably notice that I've replaced his 3 quarters empty bag with a full one (though he's there for 6 days, so I may have eaten more by then) but he will smile fondly because whilst I may have given in to my Haribo cravings I have not disrespected him or done anything to make him feel less important than me

CaledonianQueen · 09/02/2018 01:37

If you are Christian buy this and I guarantee your dh won't look in it!

www.amazon.co.uk/Home-Organizer-Tech-Dictionary-Diversion-Combination/dp/B076P93V1G/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=bible%2Bsafe%2Block&th=1&ie=UTF8&qid=1518139243&sr=8-2&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

If not buy this dictionary, leave it on your bedside table with other books on top and I bet your dh will never find them. I suggested the bible first because in our house the dictionary is the most looked at book in our house (we love words). I am Christian, DH is too but he would never think to pick the bible up.

www.amazon.co.uk/Rottner-5337-English-Dictionary-Diversion/dp/B008TR6TLU/ref=lp_1939555031_1_11?s=diy&ie=UTF8&qid=1518139340&sr=1-11&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

It really is pathetic, I would go through my DH if he did that to me! We don't restrict sweets/ chocolate, just make sure the fruit bowl is full and inviting and the treats box really only comes out occasionally. My DH often will buy me chocolates, he never touches them unless I offer him one.

Was your DH deprived of chocolate/ sweets as a child/ is it possible he has a binge eating disorder? My DM was very poor as a child meaning she often looked longingly at other children buying chocolate/ sweets. Once an adult she tended to binge on sweets/ chocolate as a result. However, she also had bulimia which was triggered by my DF constantly telling everyone she was huge/ fat (she wasn't, at the time she had a gorgeous figure). She still has binge eating issues, however, she stopped making herself sick when it triggered an extreme phobia of vomiting in me. She is a big woman now and ended up with uncontrolled diabetes. She has lost a lot of her eyesight, has no feeling in her feet, has ulcers in her feet and her kidneys are so bad that if they decline anymore she will need dialysis for the rest of her life. Binge eating like this is dangerous. She never found the strength to leave my Dad either.

In my experience, my Mum was binge eating secretly when on her own. We would find sweets and chocolates hidden in a compartment in her car, or in her handbag. She would pretend she had bought them for us when we found them.

stolemyusername · 09/02/2018 02:20

I know this thread is supposed to be light hearted, but your DH is a pig. He knew that you were so fed up with him taking everything that you had hidden it from him, so he purposefully went and found it and ate it all, he's not embarrassed that he shows such little respect for his wife.

Must be difficult taking the greedy fucker to Tesco then, what with him not being able to walk past something that isn't his without him stealing it?

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