The way my husband has reacted

[expertonnothing]

My DD is due to start school next year (a long way away I know) and my DH and I are starting to consider where to send her to school. I am catholic (half practising) and he is staunchly atheist.

There are two schools in the area one is non denominational and the other is catholic. The catholic one far outshines the non dom in terms of HMIE reports (we're in Scotland) and we pretty much have childcare in place for the catholic school. For various reasons the non dom school would be more of a headache to sort out childcare for as we'd need to find a new childminder to do pick ups.

Anyway, I said to my husband today that I felt the catholic school would be the easiest option in terms of sorting childcare unless adequate childcare could be found for non denominational school.

He lost the plot that I am clearly brainwashed and he doesn't want any child of his anywhere near a faith school and now he's not speaking to me

I have gone over the conversation in my head and I've been balanced on both schools and said I'd be happy with either as long as child care is sorted.

I'm bloody angry that he's sulking like a teenager when all I've done is have a discussion.

I'm the one who does all the research about child minders, nurseries and schools as when I ask him it doesn't get done. All the childcare we've used in the past, I've made sure to organise a visit and make sure we're both happy so it riles me that he's being such an arse.

Aibu to tell him to fuck off and sort the schooling and childcare out by himself?

These are the sort of things that people should discuss before embarking on marriage.

OP's posts read rather as her "research" is thus:

• DC can go to the Catholic school and current CM can continue to look after her

• DC can go to other school and we'll have to organize something else for childcare. I don't have time to do this.

I'm not sure "not having time to look at other childcare options" is a particularly good basis on which to choose a school tbh.
It might well be the case that "lovely current CM" was great for a pre-school child, but not so good when DC get older.

I agree with everyone who's saying you should visit schools before making your decision and you should bear in mind secondary.
Also you need to have back up plan for any school , just to have an idea what you might do e.g. If your childminder will move .

I'm not religious at all...I object to faith schools on principle. I'd still send my DC to one of it was the best option.

I’m assuming this isn’t the first time you have spoken to DH about this? If it is then I can understand why he is taken aback as it probably seems to him you are “pushing” your faith on DD - something which he doesn’t agree with.
My DP was raised catholic, confirmation the lot and all his family are strict Irish catholics. I, on the other hand, am an atheist and I have said my child will not be attending a faith school. We have discussed this at length as we are TTC and I don’t want to be having this argument when DC is due to start school.

I think the childcare argument is a weak one as it seems that’s your only reason for wanting to send DD to the catholic school. However, as DH is doing nothing to help it seems the decision has been left to you so he can’t really complain if he hasn’t had an active role in choosing childcare and schools etc. Tell your husband if he wants DD to go to the non-denom school to sort out the childcare for her. Simple as.

OP to clarify - the Catholic school I went to was in Scotland.