'I don't shake women's hands'

[canary1]

In a work setting today, a client was seen by four colleagues, 2 male, 2 female. The client shook hands with the two male colleagues at the end, and when I held my hand out in expectation, this is what he said. I know many muslims and never ran into this before, though this is his reason. I'm disgusted at such overt sexism dressed up as religion. I can't say that's just his beliefs any more than I can excuse any other overt discriminatory behaviour. How is this regarded as an acceptable way to behave?

*pallisers Thu 08-Feb-18 23:53:15
It had nothing to do with me being a woman, it was his belief.

Huh? If it had nothing to do with you being a woman and he wouldn't hug anyone, then why are you even talking about this incident?*

OMG - really? I think I've tried to explain that?

It is utterly unacceptable. Sexist git.

If a man wo t shake hands with a woman but will with men then he should not be employed. Simple. Or he should not shake hand with anybody.

Completely agree with you pallisers which is what most people said on here although unfortunately the reasonable approach got rather swallowed up by the hystrionics.

Religion my eye. Pffft

Hmm. You are saying that a religious belief about women, that causes a certain behaviour towards women, is nothing to do with women.

histrionics

We once had a new family, Somalians, arrive at school, the eldest boy was supposed to be very clever at Maths and I as HOD put him into Set 1 that I was teaching that year. The father objected, his son could not be in a woman's class as a woman could not be in a position of discipline over him. He expected me to re-arrange the staffing of my Department, halfway through the term to accommodate his prejudice, naturally racist when I refused. I put him into Set 3, taught by a man, but he wouldn't be able to access the higher grades, eventually he came into Set 1 and was useless so he dropped into set 4 by the end of the year.

It has everything to do with you being a woman. I'm sure he is a nice man (doubt he would call us all harpies, for example, for disagreeing with him or questioning him and he probably doesn't expect a free pass for "saving lives daily" either) but he is refusing to touch you because his religion says he cannot touch women not related to him- which kind of has everything to do with you being a woman.

Tillytrotter isn't it nice for a teacher to call a child unless. Wow you must feel great, did your dealings with the father anyway change the way you dealt with the child?

I once worked with a Jewish orthodox woman who wouldn't shake hands with men, could not be called by her first name etc....
We all managed!
I think that people are very quick to shout out about how awful this is without thinking....
The lovely DD of a friend of mine is a strict Muslim (my friend is not, her ex and her DDs father is)
Friends DD could not ever appear uncovered in front of or hug/kiss (she's French so will kiss me when we meet) my late DP.

We all made v little of it. Maybe that's naive....
But my late DP was v fond of her indeed, thought no less of her and just went with it. He didn't take it personally....and respected her religious boundaries
Maybe he was perpetuating something bad
Maybe he was being human and flexible.

If someone did that to me I'd probably get an overwhelming urge to rub his face & declare he now has "woman germs". What I'd actually do is just say "I see..." & carry on in a professional, business-like manner.

There's a man that brings his DC to the same sports group as my DC who always sits away from the group of mums, even when his wife is one of them. I've not asked why but I guess it's probably a religious thing. I am quite tempted to go sit on the bench next to him & start chatting, just to see his reaction... I won't though. Despite my inner contrariness I do try to respect other people's boundaries & even I can tell that someone routinely choosing to sit on the other side of the room without acknowledging anyone is wanting to be left alone!

There's a man who comes into my workplace, only fills the machine.
He is is min wage and won't speak/deal with our supervisors because they are women. he says he can't speak through religious reasons.
It's funny when there aren't any men in the building.
I think it's fuckin rude tbh.
If it's your culture, then fair enough, don't speak to women in your culture.
When in my culture act accordingly.

The while construct behind it is not to do with respecting your wife

Firstly, it is prohibited to shake hands with a woman if there is fear of provoking sexual desire or enjoyment on the part of either one of them or if there is fear of temptation. This is based on the general rule that blocking the means to evil is obligatory, especially if its signs are clear.

I have business contacts that are Orthodox Jews. If we (society) claim to be open then its to be expected that hand shaking is something they don't do. With women.

And for those whom see this an insult, well, we see not that far forward. Many Brits are ignorant, a handshake doth not maketh the person.

If someone won't shake hands with one group member they shouldn't shake hands with any.

*whole construct is not to do with respecting your wife

It’s to do with temptation

Sorry! Sentence fail

He shouldn't be working really, should he?

Shaking hands is just proper business étiquette.

Ah Cultural Enrichment, can't get a feminist to challenge it if your life depended on it.

Yep. Ex colleague was the same. I respected that but forgot at least once while hugging him

The next time someone says this to a woman on here, I dare her to say 'why not??'

Like, actually why the fuck not? You going to catch vagina germs?

zzzz

I believe that we should act accordingly to other cultures when in their environment.
If I visit a church that expects certain dress codes I'd adhere to these, even though it wasn't my belief.
organisations are cultures too, there are set terms and conditions that are expected of everyone.
You can't change the rules to suit one or a minority.

To the poster wondering whether an employer is allowed to refuse to allow an employee to wear a hijab, the EU courts decided that they were able to do so

BertieBotts - when I said that religion that requires you to discriminate in such a way that you are able to perform basic social niceties, your religion is wrong IMHO, I was thinking about the current UK social norms, not trying to cover all the different cultural norms around the world. And in the UK workplace as things currently stand, shaking hands with male and female colleagues is completely standard. To argue that religion requires one to participate is discriminatory behaviour is wrong. I can't believe how many people are jsut shrugging their shoulders at this