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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have an affair with my husband?!

102 replies

needmysleep75 · 08/02/2018 19:31

So couple of months ago I found out about the OW and kicked him out, he went to live with her. Now he keeps telling me he loves me, misses me, made a mistake blah blah blah. Now I don't really want him home, I'm loving not having to clean up after him, badger him to do things, put up with his shit money skills and too much drinking. Don't have to worry about where/who he is with, is he telling the truth. Love being able to what I like, watch what I like, not have to compromise but I do miss the sex.

Clearly I don't give a shit about her feelings, she gets everything she deserves but would I be unreasonable to take the offered sex? I really can't be bothered to find someone else as I would just want the sex none of the relationship stuff at this point.

OP posts:
Perso25 · 08/02/2018 19:33

Do not. Respect yourself more.

Bubblegumfan · 08/02/2018 19:34

I think sex with your husband will just complicate things. Was it really that good?
If you want just sex go on tinder!

Treaclespongeandcustard · 08/02/2018 19:34

He sounds like a prize nobhead OP, I definitely wouldn't be letting him near me!! Find someone nicer.

debbs77 · 08/02/2018 19:34

Ha I would just got kicks !!!!!

Craftylittlething · 08/02/2018 19:35

You would be unreasonable, best to have a clean break and keep your dignity intact.

RadioGaGoo · 08/02/2018 19:35

Would you really want to sleep with him knowing he's slept with OW? If it's revenge you are after, much better to find someone else.

Abracadabraapileofbollocks · 08/02/2018 19:35

Errr. YABU. He was happy fucking two women until you found out and kicked him out. Why give him what he wanted anyway when he pissed all over your feelinfs when married?

Eliza9917 · 08/02/2018 19:36

You could do it til you get bored then tell her, with proof, then have nothing more to do with him. What goes around, comes around and all that.

WitchesHatRim · 08/02/2018 19:36

YABU. Very in fact.

Clearly I don't give a shit about her feelings, she gets everything she deserves

Yet he is the one that cheated on you and you want to have an affair with him.

What makes you then any better than her if you have an affair ?

Whisky2014 · 08/02/2018 19:36

Morally you shouldnt but Yeh...id prob feel the same

Dozer · 08/02/2018 19:36

Why massage his ego!

jkl0311 · 08/02/2018 19:37

@needmysleep75
Don't give him the pleasure that's still having his cake and eating it. Totally mess with your mind too no matter what you say, no woman can just turn off the feelings like that.

Lucymek · 08/02/2018 19:37

Thissssss

Clearly I don't give a shit about her feelings, she gets everything she deserves

Yet he is the one that cheated on you and you want to have an affair with him.

FlyingMonkeys · 08/02/2018 19:38

I personally wouldn't give him the satisfaction of having his cake and eating it.

Do yourself a favour and find someone new if it's just for a bit of fun.

diddlemethis · 08/02/2018 19:40

Don't do the pick me dance! You aren't winning in this scenario, you are only rewarding the fuckwit who hurt you by massaging his ego. Honestly it'll feel much better to laugh in his face and stroll off into the sunset with a new and improved Mr.

Original poster
needmysleep75 · 08/02/2018 19:40

I meant usually I would never consider a man who was with someone else as I wouldn't do that to another woman but this woman I wouldn't care. But, yeah you are probably right might take a look at Tinder this weekend! The thought of a new man after 15 yrs though, scary even if it is just sex. How do you weed out the weirdos?

OP posts:
ididntmeanitlikethat · 08/02/2018 19:41

I imagine it's tempting in a fuck you kinda way to OW

Can't imagine it'll make you feel very good about yourself though

Let them fuck up their lives all on their own Flowers

Amber0685 · 08/02/2018 19:41

Raise your standards, find someone better (in bed as well), you will be happier.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 08/02/2018 19:41

Yeah, why not? If you can have the sex without getting caught up in all the other stuff, thrn you might as well get something from him. And while he thinks he's on with a chance, you can get the divorce settlement nailed down.
Fuck the ow - the chance to cause her some upset in return would be hard to pass up, for me.

MuffinTip · 08/02/2018 19:43

Wouldn't give him the satisfaction personally. He sounds like an entitled wanker and you'd just be reinforcing his idea that he is some kind of irrestible sex god.

I couldn't let a man that had cheated on me back into my bed for any reason. Find someone hotter and better. That'll be a more pleasurable revenge 😁

Tistheseason17 · 08/02/2018 19:43

Eeew 😷.just think about where "It's" been 🤢

x2boys · 08/02/2018 19:43

I wouldnt , why would you hes getting sec from you and the other women if you miss sex that much find a Fwb.

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/02/2018 19:43

Gross idea.

Why would you reward his disgusting behaviour with sex? He’s the one who married you then shagged someone else.

You’re worth much more than this cheating scumbag.

x2boys · 08/02/2018 19:44

Sex*

Lemontart25 · 08/02/2018 19:44

So basically you want to reward him with what he wanted all along. You & the OW? Hmm I would NOT lower myself to that ever! If you want revenge on her then just send her the messages. (Least she deserves).

But to sleep with him will make him know he can do what he wants & still really always get you back. The not having the relationship stuff to deal with works both ways doesn't it. Maybe that's how he sees not being with you now too 'the nagging wife' (as he has OW handling all that anyway) so he just wants sex with you & whoever else is stupid enough to fall for it.

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