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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have an affair with my husband?!

102 replies

needmysleep75 · 08/02/2018 19:31

So couple of months ago I found out about the OW and kicked him out, he went to live with her. Now he keeps telling me he loves me, misses me, made a mistake blah blah blah. Now I don't really want him home, I'm loving not having to clean up after him, badger him to do things, put up with his shit money skills and too much drinking. Don't have to worry about where/who he is with, is he telling the truth. Love being able to what I like, watch what I like, not have to compromise but I do miss the sex.

Clearly I don't give a shit about her feelings, she gets everything she deserves but would I be unreasonable to take the offered sex? I really can't be bothered to find someone else as I would just want the sex none of the relationship stuff at this point.

OP posts:
Seafoodeatit · 08/02/2018 21:39

No! don't it, YWBVU if you did. You need to remove him from your life, I wouldn't get involved in his new relationship I would just leave them to it, don't get caught it whatever mess would be created.

He sounds like he's got a very serious case of greener grass syndrome!

wysteriafloribunba · 08/02/2018 21:43

Not an uncommon reaction in your situation. I wouldn't. It'll hurt you long term.

gillybeanz · 08/02/2018 21:43

No, I'd have more respect for myself tbh. You could ask her why he's badgering you for sex, ask if there's something wrong with their relationship Grin

GottadoitGottadoit · 08/02/2018 21:43

Is he the only bloke with a cock in your town?

If so, then go right ahead!

Whatwouldkeithrichardsdo · 08/02/2018 21:43

Don't let him get so much as a toe back in the door.

Your life sounds better for him not being in it. Go find someone to have amazing sex with on your terms. Be a cake eater!

gillybeanz · 08/02/2018 21:44

If he's saying this record him and send her a copy, if it's in text forward it to her. job done Thanks

CandyYumYum · 08/02/2018 21:46

Imagine if mid-sex you started weeping and telling him how much you loved him, missed him, and wanted him back. Sex with an ex can do funny (as in horrifically unfunny) things to a person.

Ginkypig · 08/02/2018 21:50

I'm not saying she can't have as many lovers as she wants as often as she wants! More power to her!

What I am saying is this particular choice of partner would be a disaster because of how he would see it and even more reason because he treated her terribly and she is worth far more than allowing a man who disrespected her so wholly to be with her in an intimate and sexual way. In his eyes she would always be at a power disadvantage to him, he would never recognise that she is using him solely for sexual gratification.

CandyYumYum · 08/02/2018 21:52

In his eyes she would always be at a power disadvantage to him, he would never recognise that she is using him solely for sexual gratification.

So true.

Lunettesloupes · 08/02/2018 21:52

Jesus...yes this guy is well worth fighting over Hmm

Original poster
needmysleep75 · 08/02/2018 21:55

Sorry everyone had to go rescue DS 23 who's car had broken down! Thanks for all the responses, I think the majority of you are right and it would be stupid. The PP that asked if I couldn't go without sex for 5 minutes, its been a few months but I actually like sex.
Told my DS about the thread he offered to see if anyone from uni is into older women! I told him I think I'll find my own so there's a job for the weekend Wink

OP posts:
MsWanaBanana · 08/02/2018 21:57

Yet he is the one that cheated on you and you want to have an affair with him.
What makes you then any better than her if you have an affair ?
^This
And also, why are you talking to your ds about your sex life? That’s just weird

Groinyo · 08/02/2018 22:00

Also, have you thought that they could be married or in a relationship & then you are the OW...........

Hmm Confused

So we should never date men as men might be cheating on their wives?!

Groinyo · 08/02/2018 22:01

Told my DS about the thread he offered to see if anyone from uni is into older women! I told him I think I'll find my own so there's a job for the weekend

Hmm
KarmaStar · 08/02/2018 22:05

Hi OP
You've been through an awful time and are moving on with your life.
This would be a backward step.
He will have the best of both worlds.again.
Have more respect for yourself and wait until you meet a decent loving man.don't lower yourself to their level,you will bitterly regret it.

Basseting · 08/02/2018 22:11

duchessgummybun 'dick is abundent and low value' Grin

'get thee to POF/ Tinder' everyone

Ebba84 'lovehoney... a bit like tinder, but without the hassle of actually meeting guys. No need to dress up, no wining and dining, listening to excuses, bad breath or clinginess. And when you're done, you can switch it off and pop it in your bedside drawer."

OP, if you want to then dont feel bad about it, but I think you might get burnt. I'd go for one of the other options suggested above.

Basseting · 08/02/2018 22:15

but maybe not get your ds too involved?

Original poster
needmysleep75 · 08/02/2018 22:18

Don't worry I'm not involving my DS it was a throw away comment to him when he's asked what I had been doing tonight ' On MN asking advice on men and where to find them ' he jokingly said I'll ask around at uni for you. I think he would bury his SD under a patio if he thought he could get away with it.

OP posts:
feelingfree17 · 08/02/2018 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Queenoftheblitz · 08/02/2018 22:28

It's only been a few months and you're not truly over him.
You're putting on a brave face but the hurt of his betrayal is huge.
I doubt you're even ready for a new shag buddy.
If you haven't got one already, buy a rampant rabbit for all night fun -on your own.
Enjoy the power he's given you and laugh to yourself at how his actions have ruined his life.
Laugh at ow who is no longer the exciting forbidden fruit.

wineandcheeseplease · 08/02/2018 22:28

I did it. Best sex of my life.

ANother27 · 08/02/2018 22:30

@Winteriscoming18
I wouldn’t do it but if he messaged you suggesting this I would forward this to the ow.

^ This 100%

MothQuandary · 08/02/2018 22:45

There’s nothing like a bit of no-strings attached sex with someone young enough to be your son to boost the ego after a break-up.

A few weeks after finally getting shot of my exH I shagged my (male) friend’s son and I felt on top of the world.

Groinyo · 09/02/2018 05:36

There’s nothing like a bit of no-strings attached sex with someone young enough to be your son to boost the ego after a break-up. few weeks after finally getting shot of my exH I shagged my (male) friend’s son and I felt on top of the world.

[shudders]

Lovemusic33 · 09/02/2018 07:41

Not sure if I could shag a young uni student Grin

I week after leaving dh I shagged a older man, it was someone dh knew which made it even more fun, the sex was great. People are right that there’s plenty of cock around, you don’t need to crawl back to your ex to get it. Join POF and Tinder, oh and stock up on condoms.

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