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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be struggling with nursery only opening at 8

292 replies

humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 18:28

I am a teacher and have to be at work for 8:20.

Nurseries only open at 8 which means I’ve had to choose the closest one. It still gives me a tight margin for getting to school, parking, getting into school and to morning briefing/meetings.

AIBU to wish there was a bit more flexibility with childcare?

OP posts:
ElphabaTheGreen · 08/02/2018 21:29

I literally trust the women at my nursery with my children more than I do with their doting grandparents (and they are amazing).

But if you don't have that level of trust, there's nowt to be done...🤷🏻‍♀️

PrinceMichaelOfMoldavia · 08/02/2018 21:30

Ask the council for an up to date list of childminders, there may be some newly registered ones? I’m a cm and open from 715 for parents who have a long journey or an early start. It really is difficult.

Cheekyandfreaky · 08/02/2018 21:31

Teaching really isn’t like other jobs. If you have to be there at a certain time, you have to be there. There is no over-recruitment in schools where someone can easily cover you- hell, there’s many schools where the basic number of staff is greatly lacking!

OP, many sympathies. The only way it works at casa cheeky is DH does the drop off- he’s an ex- teacher and left when I was on my first mat leave. We both agree that you can’t parent when two of you are teachers.

Even with him doing that though, we still struggle as I’m supposed to do the pick ups, but with parents evenings/ open evenings/ meetings etc I still have to heavily lean on him. Teaching is not family friendly. Please no one tell me about the holidays. I realise a lot of parents have a hard time for various reasons but working in an undervalued/ overworked/ underpaid (yes I said it) profession and trying to raise children is a reason for a rant.

I love my job but if you didn’t rant, the feelings would come out in some way.

AirandMungBeans · 08/02/2018 21:32

Spare a thought for us nursery practitioners. We totally understand your predicament, it's tough. We do however start work rediculously early, before our parents start work, for minimum wage and then work after the parents have all finished work and for another half hour after the last child is picked up. We already do 11.5 hour days. We'd never see our own children if we worked any longer.

I also have this predicament myself. I have two young children who have to come with me to work, before they should really be awake, then wait for my DM to pick the eldest up and take him to school, whilst the youngest stays at nursery with me. He has to do 11 hour days with me sadly. Thank goodness it's only a few days a week.

MoeSzyslaksTwinSister · 08/02/2018 21:32

This is one of the reasons I couldn't go back to full time work. Both me and DP start at 8.15am. Nurseries open at 8am. We need to be on train at 7.25am at the latest.

Obviously my boss wouldn't let me wander in over an hour late everyday.

It sucks and so does losing my full time wage but hey ho.

Buxbaum · 08/02/2018 21:37

We both agree that you can’t parent when two of you are teachers.

You can, but it takes an incredibly good support network and a lot of organisation.

DH is a headteacher so he cannot do any drop-offs or pick-ups except on the very odd occasion with a LOT of notice. Now that the DC are in school we have a wonderful childminder who does a 7.30 start and will do the odd later evening for us if I have a twilight INSET. Previously we used nurseries which offered a 7.30 start.

It's still very hard though. I will soon be looking for a new job as between the DC, DH and me we are in three different LEAs and the holidays increasingly diverge - we have different half terms this October. I need to shorten my commute and move to the same LEA as the DC to remove a variable.

Teaching is a really family-unfriendly job in term-time, along with all of the other jobs with inflexible hours.

Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 21:41

I wish people wouldn’t say things like that! I’ll have to make it possible, somehow!

OP posts:
Buxbaum · 08/02/2018 21:46

It can work, honestly OP - but you will need to be open to some creative solutions at times, and you will need to be willing to make friends with other parents and create your own support network. You will find yourself very popular if you can help other parents out with holiday childcare and in return you can make arrangements for wraparound support without fear of the dreaded cheeky fuckery.

One of my colleagues successfully petitioned her DC's breakfast club to open thirty minutes earlier to facilitate her morning commute. It can be done!

Mistressiggi · 08/02/2018 21:49

The briefings could be changed/cancelled. Many schools don’t have any weekly briefings, never mind three. Change would require it to bother a fair number of people though. It does seem to negatively impact on parents so you could try to address it - might make a lot of people happy.

Snacktimonious · 08/02/2018 22:11

You can’t “just be ten minutes as a teacher hmm

Well then, if you cannot meet the demands of the job then don't do it.

They can get somebody else who is more reliable.

I've always been a SAHM because I can't get a flexible enough job that will release me for sports days and parents meetings.

Maybe I'm just dead lucky. I have a partner who earns enough to pay all the household bills. If I worked full time, we might get to have some extra curricular cushy sunshine holiday.

But I think 'fuck that' I want to spend every hour and every day with my babies that I gave birth to. I absolutely love every minute of it.
I am there from the moment that they wake up. to the moment they go to bed. And I love it. The thought of them being cared for by somebody else for 8 hours is abhorrent to me. They are 'my' babies.
I think it really odd, that any mother would transfer the care of her chid to another paid person who is not a relative.

Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 22:13

Ah okay, you’re just goading. Not rising to it, sorry.

OP posts:
ElphabaTheGreen · 08/02/2018 22:25

Twat off Snacktimonious, especially when OP has said she's a single parent. Think you might want to revert that username back to its original form.

Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 22:28

She’s just goading on purpose, don’t worry about it Smile I’d rather my child was raised with me than someone unkind.

OP posts:
Allthecoolkids · 08/02/2018 22:28

Goady fucker aside,

Are you always this inflexible in your thinking OP? This distrustful of other people? Cos if you could let go of that I promise it will make the next 15+ years a lot less stressful.

Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 22:34

It’s not about being inflexible. It’s simply about recognising it’s my child and my responsibility to drop her at nursery. If I had other options that were realistic, I would use them. As I don’t, I just have to try and make the best of things.

I’m really sorry if people don’t like that, but turning up late and letting a prefect take the register, pestering the nursery workers to accept a child early and take her in for me - they aren’t realistic options.

OP posts:
Snacktimonious · 08/02/2018 22:36

You can’t “just be ten minutes as a teacher hmm

Well then, if you cannot meet the demands of the job then don't do it.

They can get somebody else who is more reliable.

I've always been a SAHM because I can't get a flexible enough job that will release me for sports days and parents meetings.

Maybe I'm just dead lucky. I have a partner who earns enough to pay all the household bills. If I worked full time, we might get to have some extra curricular cushy sunshine holiday.

But I think 'fuck that' I want to spend every hour and every day with my babies that I gave birth to. I absolutely love every minute of it.
I am there from the moment that they wake up. to the moment they go to bed. And I love it. The thought of them being cared for by somebody else for 8 hours is abhorrent to me. They are 'my' babies.
I think it really odd, that any mother would transfer the care of her chid to another paid person who is not a relative.

Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 22:37

So goady we said it twice

OP posts:
newyearsameme80 · 08/02/2018 22:38

Snack I take it you will homeschool as you want every minute with them?

newyearsameme80 · 08/02/2018 22:39

Also I suspect the real reason you’ve always been a sahm is because you’re unemployable.

ElphabaTheGreen · 08/02/2018 22:40

I've reported the second posting. Being a twat once doesn't break MN guidelines, but a deliberate second posting must do.

Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 22:43

Well, at 8:46 this morning snack used a childminder for her kids.

Make of that what you will.

OP posts:
ElphabaTheGreen · 08/02/2018 22:47

Hahahahahahaha! Nice work OP.

Might get a double deletion after all, then

Temporaryanonymity · 08/02/2018 22:48

Well, you don't have to pester the nursery workers to do anything. You could just ask, nicely.

Tumbleweed101 · 08/02/2018 22:51

We open at 7am til 6.30pm. Our opening times are determined by the working hours of the clients who use us.

Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 22:51

Yes, but when you ask people then you are putting pressure on them to say yes.

Anyway, it’ll come right in the end, no doubt.

OP posts:
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