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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be struggling with nursery only opening at 8

292 replies

humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 18:28

I am a teacher and have to be at work for 8:20.

Nurseries only open at 8 which means I’ve had to choose the closest one. It still gives me a tight margin for getting to school, parking, getting into school and to morning briefing/meetings.

AIBU to wish there was a bit more flexibility with childcare?

OP posts:
woodlands01 · 08/02/2018 20:29

Hump - are you primary teacher or secondary? (sorry if I've missed it)

pastabest · 08/02/2018 20:30

My local (council) nursery is open 9.30am - 2pm 3 days a week and that's it.

Absolutely no use whatsoever to working parents and they wonder why numbers are so low they will have to close.

It's rural so there's not a huge amount of choice. Thankfully we have relatives that help out. It's rubbish when there's no proper childcare choices it forces parents (and let's face it mainly women) into making choices they shouldn't have to make.

cantkeepawayforever · 08/02/2018 20:30

I think she said secondary?

Thetruthfairy · 08/02/2018 20:33

yes, I agree Op.
I had to do two drop-offs before 8am. I had to travel stupid distances to make it work. It was totally exhausting and I hated that I didn't have a choice of providers. Starting the day feeling rushed and stressed was just awful. It is one of the reasons I left teaching actually.

woodlands01 · 08/02/2018 20:34

If secondary could you possibly negotiate not having to register form in the morning?
Not sure - I know some schools are crap at this but some are good and my school would consider it, maybe even just for a year until your child gets older and you are happy for some other arrangement.

Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 20:35

Yes secondary.

I do need to be there. We have briefing three days a week at 820 and then I have duty today.

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 08/02/2018 20:36

You don’t seem very open to exploring solutions OP...

KindergartenKop · 08/02/2018 20:40

Could you pay one of the nursery workers to babysit your child and then take them to nursery for an hour or so?

woodlands01 · 08/02/2018 20:40

Bloody briefings - such a waste of time ...................
Duty can always be changed.
Depends on how strongly you want to fight your corner at the end of the day and I do understand the issues with that, I am just very bloody minded!

Every situation is temporary. If its just about do-able then go with how it is - can you find a colleague who is an ally and does not have a form (part timer, pastoral person...) and will cover your form at last minute if you are late?

Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 20:42

Olympics, because there aren’t any.

I need to be in school at such a time. I can’t drop off my child before such a time.

Not every problem has a solution.

OP posts:
woodlands01 · 08/02/2018 20:51

But there are options - I have always found staff in a school to be very accommodating to family situations/scenarios. Yes - there are management who want to lay down the law but peers/colleagues have always been supportive in my opinion.

It does appear you are unwilling to explore options, therefore go with what you have - it is workable, if stressful. Just have a contingency if it goes wrong and you are late. If it is the formal process then fine, but maybe talk to someone informally who will help you out. Our Head of House (no form group) would willingly cover a form if someone had a problem. Equally when she has an emergency meeting and I have a non contact - I will sit in the house office and cover. No SLT involvement/questioning just people helping each other out.

ElphabaTheGreen · 08/02/2018 20:53

OP, I know you're just after sympathy and I have a lot of it. I'm lucky enough that both my DSs childcare settings open at 7:30 (nursery and school breakfast club). But the holiday club, run by the same people as breakfast club, doesn't open until 8. I need holiday club because I'm still working the same bloody hours, regardless of school hours, FFS! I'm lucky again, though. Many 'holiday clubs' only run school hours which would be as useful as a bloody chocolate teapot to me.

I am always struck by how ironically incompatible teaching is with having children - barely see your own in order to nurture and educate other people's. It's no wonder there's a mass exodus going on.

HOWEVER, there are some good suggestions on this thread. Many of the workers at my nursery do private babysitting so I would urge you to investigate this option. I know it's near your work rather than home - so see if there's one that lives near your nursery/work that could do a half hour in the morning and take her in as a PP suggested.

You've also gone for the nursery near work option. Now, I'm eternally grateful I went for the nursery near home because if I need a child-free day off to catch up on housework or other jobs, or am ill and need to stay in bed without the responsibility of a small person, I'm not driving a child 45 minutes to nursery morning and afternoon and watching them fall asleep on the home journey, thus ruining my evening. Did you look into any nurseries closer to home which might have more amenable opening hours?

CharlieandLolaCat · 08/02/2018 20:53

Is there any way that you can cycle? Would that make it quicker and then you're not subject to the problems with the traffic? I went back to work when my son was 11 months and he went on a bike seat on the back (and still does at nearly 4 and will do until he starts school which will throw up its own challenges)!

cantkeepawayforever · 08/02/2018 20:53

humpback, to be fair, you COULD drop off your child earlier- by exploring childminder, other mum, nursery worker options. However, you have decided that those are worse options for you than the stress of the tight timetable - which, as i said in an earlier post, is absolutely fine, because these things are a compromise and might niot be a compromise that is worth it for you.

It doesn't mean there ISN'T a solution. It just means that the solutions are, for you, no better than the problem, because you feel that the 'just about working' is the best option for you at the moment, though you felt like a vent about it this evening!

Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 20:58

I would be putting my job at risk by insisting that I arrive late every day. That really isn’t something I feel would be wise.

There is only one childminder. Using her would create more problems than it would solve.

I don’t actually know any other mums, and even if I did it is a huge ask and again ultimately dependent on someone else’s goodwill, even if you pay them. That’s a recipe for disaster when you come to rely on it.

I would appreciate it if people could stop insisting that the answer is to demand someone from the nursery does extra hours. I am not being in any way rude, but it isn’t a workable solution. Obviously it is a shame people are getting annoyed but to be honest, while I’m not a brain surgeon or anything I’m reasonably educated and can work things out myself.

OP posts:
Chattymummyhere · 08/02/2018 20:59

My local nursery opens at 8am. Apparently many a time I’ve walked by and it’s still locked with the staff waiting outside 8:10-8:15am. The mind boggles on how they stay in business. Cosindering they have shops next door it would be perfect for the staff but they open after the shops.

woodlands01 · 08/02/2018 21:00

Yes a vent is always useful. Most teachers I know need a vent now.

Our HT cancelled a meeting and told us to 'take the 10 mins back'...................my form then proceeded to have a riot in the 10 mins outside my classroom. And 3 assemblies running over this week accumulated in losing 23 mins of lunch time lost (not that I an OCD in counting minutes). Maybe I am not as bloody minded as I think as I did not email HT my thoughts.

One more day then half term - happy, happy days.

Adelie0404 · 08/02/2018 21:01

Could you ask one of the staff if you can drop your little one at her house earlier and she take her into nursery? It may be awkward to ask. I start work at 8 and it was impossible, (sometimes had a 45 min commute) so I asked a very sweet girl who worked there if she would mind that. She appreciated the extra money. In fact DD1 used to stay over at her house when I worked nights and all sorts. My husband works at sea some of the year.
I sympathise - it was so so hard as a junior doctor too!
They do grow up!

HighwayDragon1 · 08/02/2018 21:03

OP, are you actually me?! I drop DD at school at 8 am, drive across town (10-15mins) path and run in for 8.20 meetings! Schools breakfast club opens at 8 on the dot, not a second earlier, no childminders anywhere, it's a real pain. Luckily we have an awesome SLT that are very understanding!

Mailawaymailawaymailaway · 08/02/2018 21:04

What do you have to do at 8.20? If it's just taking register, could the prefects do this instead as part of a planned arrangement (agreed with the head)? I would have been quite comfortable doing this for you when I was 16 and so would have my more responsible friends been.

NapQueen · 08/02/2018 21:12

Have you checked childminders both near home and near work?

Also itd be best to keep an eye out for any new ones as once your LO goes to Primary school even the 8am nursery wont be an option for you.

ElphabaTheGreen · 08/02/2018 21:16

I would appreciate it if people could stop insisting that the answer is to demand someone from the nursery does extra hours.

But no one is suggesting you 'demand'! Nursery workers are on shit pay. They are often looking for any extra private childcare work they can get - one of our DSs' nursery workers does regular private babysitting for us, and very happpily, and it's clearly the case with many other posters on here so it's not an unreasonable avenue to explore. There's a chance someone might bite your hand off at the extra bit of money, saving you the rush. If you make polite enquiries the very worst they can say is no.

woodlands01 · 08/02/2018 21:17

Prefects taking registers???

Of course perfectly acceptable

Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 21:24

I would need to take my child to their house and trust their driving to get them to nursery.

I would rather rush Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
humpbackwhalestail · 08/02/2018 21:24

Prefects really don’t take registers.

OP posts: