To be struggling with nursery only opening at 8

[humpbackwhalestail]

I am a teacher and have to be at work for 8:20.

Nurseries only open at 8 which means I’ve had to choose the closest one. It still gives me a tight margin for getting to school, parking, getting into school and to morning briefing/meetings.

AIBU to wish there was a bit more flexibility with childcare?

8 am! Ours opens at 6:30. Not that I've ever been there at that time though. Surely you can't be the only person needing to be in work early?

A friend of mine paid her dc’s nursery key worker to collect him from her house 20 mins before nursery opened so she could catch her train. She was driving past anyway and nursery was the opposite direction to the train station so it saved her a big chunk of time in the morning. Could you ask the nursery staff if anyone could help you like that?

Thanks I can understand that , I do charge a flat rate , take the same 2 weeks off every year and have another childminder to cover on the very rare occasions I’m ill but I understand not all childminders are the same. Sorry for derailing the thread.

All of our nurseries open at 8am and there are 3 accessible to a small town in SE England. (expect London, big cities are different).
Anyone who need earlier cover uses a couple of child minders for the extra half hour/hour before hand who drop off at nurseries, local schools but of course costs extra (suppose you pay an earlier opening nursery extra anyhow so maybe not an issue).

@schoolchoicesucks possibly but hour variation isn't ideal unfortunately

AIBU to wish there was a bit more flexibility with childcare?

To answer your question, no of course you're not being unreasonable. In an ideal world childcare should be available if you are an emergency services employee, or a teacher.
But you have to work with what you have.

I was forced to give up my full time profession and seek a part time position because I couldn't find childcare to cover the hours I needed to work. And latterly because my third child was born with a significant disability and SEN and I couldn't find any childcare at all that would take her on so had to give up work completely.

Them's the breaks. Either carry on living on a knife edge of anxiety about being late, or make some domestic cutbacks and get a part time job/teaching position/locum teacher position/agency work/whatever it takes.

Most agency work is local and starts at 9am. Been there and done it for several years. Money's not as good, but at least it's something coming in.
This is probably not a 'helpful' post, but I hope it puts things into perspective. Just talk to your colleagues and see if they are sympathetic to your being 5 or 10 minutes late occasionally?
I would have thought that would be the first step, to be honest.

You can’t “just be ten minutes as a teacher

Being a teacher a childminder works much better for me as she allows me to just use term time only so saves me a lot of money! She is also flexible and will do a late night while I’m at parents evening which a nursery wouldn’t do. She never takes holidays during term time and is very rarely ill.

Are there no friends, relatives, grandparents or her father that can do anything? Even one day a week?

YANBU

Have you explained the situation to your work? They can’t be annoyed at you if you’re late some days, it’s totally out of your control

Er, yes they can, and not just schools. It's an employee's responsibility to make arrangements that enable them to get to work for the specified start time - even if that really, really sucks when there are limited options available.

(And as an aside, if successive governments were really serious about getting women back to work, this is exactly the sort of thing that they should tackle)

I wonder if any of the nursery staff could help you out too. A friend of mine agreed with one of the nursery staff to take her daughter in the morning as she was passing her house anyway.
It's such a stressful way to start the day for you. I'm sure there must be other parents in a similar position.
I had a childminder for a short time ( had to be in work for 7 am) on the days my husband was away and the pressure in the mornings was a nightmare.

I agree Olenna

It is really difficult when 'the obviously best solution' - the nursery opening earlier - isn't available, and where it s all 'marginally possible but stressful' rather than being 'impossible', because the default position is 'just about managing with what you have'.

To make things genuinely better in one way - a reliable and stress free on time arrival at work - means making compromises in another. This could be using a non-perfect childminder for an hour a day, or using less qualified childcare such as another parent or a student for a short early morning shift. That can be really hard - because the current arrangement is 'just about working', so the 'imperfect' solution of someone else doing the nursery drop off may not feel worth it.

It is ultimately, up to you. Either the current arrangement 'just about works', and although you aren't brilliantly happy about it, the downsides of any alternative are too great - in which case, much sympathy for the imperfectness of the solution. Or the current arrangement really is too stressful and uncertain, and looks like prolonging itself all through the primary school years, in which case a less than optimal childcare solution for 30-45 minutes each day migt be worth it to you.

Op I work in a private nursery, years ago there was a parent in a similar position to yours. We got chatting. She used to drop her DD off with me in the morning at 7:30 and I'd walk to nursery with her kind of an early morning babysitting and her child knew me well. Any of the girls at your nursery do babysitting?

From other posters, babysitting by a member of the nursery staff does seem to be a relatively common way round this scenario, using qualified and familiar staff - is that an option you would be comfortable exploring?

Yes, I'm hesiatant to ask about your DC's dad but could he not help out a bit in the morning?

It sounds really stressful OP and YANBU to wish it was better

I have a similar situation. DC are in school, wrap around care is 8-6. Work has changed my shifts from 7.5 hour days to 12 hour days. Dh works 10-7. I may have to quit work 😩... I’m trying to find a solution, but only 1 childminder does pick up/ drop off at our school nd she has no spaces. I’m devastated.

You could ask the nursery if any of the staff would do early babysitting
I've worked in nurseies where this has happened
You could always ask the nursey if they would do an early start
I manqge a nursey and we do offer an early start of 7.30
Our other nurseries open at 7

Sympathies, OP - I also teach and a 7.30 opening was my single biggest criterion when finding childcare for DD. I am surprised that none of your local nurseries offer it, though.

If you otherwise really like the nursery then it might be worth approaching other parents to see if any of them would use an earlier start, before approaching the nursery manager. They might well consider extending the day if it’s financially viable to do so.

Otherwise I would encourage you to reconsider your stance on childminders. Ours employs an assistant and an apprentice so there is additional capacity and never takes termtime holidays.

I had this last year when dc was too young to join breakfast club at school. Earliest drop off was 8.00 and I then had a 20 minute drive to my school for lesson start at 8.25. If there was any delay in drop off or parking I would be late I just couldn’t do it so found a local mum friend who dropped kids off at same school - was a life saver! I would arrive just as she was putting her kids in the car at 7.45 so could help getting everyone into car and she just had to offload them at the other end. The extra 15 minutes made all the difference.

In return I would have kids occasionally in the holidays or when she was at work.
Could you find a local mum to help you out like this?

I did also find a childminder cheaper, long term, btw - they were willing to do termtime only (because the fact that I looked after my children in the holiday freed up her space for those who were usually morning and after school only who then needed full days out of term).

However, if you don't like the childminder, then that's not going to work, unless they would be willing to do breakfast and drop-off as part of e.g. a school run route for older children? That will stand you in good stead for the primary years as well.

tessermee, I think the OP feels that the morning nursery drop off is too important for someone else to do - which is obviously incompatible with scenarios such as other mums helping out.

That's why I wondered about the nursery staff babysitting idea, because handing over to a member of the nursery staff might be sufficiently close to handing over to the nursery to make it OK?

I don’t think the staff babysitting is the answer. I don’t live locally to the nursery. It was more a vent than anything else

LucyMek She doesn't charge for it, the only consideration is that when she goes away someone whose child she's looked after looks after her pets for her. I'd use her myself but don't need to thankfully!

Vents are fine, they're part of what MN is for!