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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague can’t drive I’m doing all the driving!!

238 replies

Gisele12 · 08/02/2018 18:00

This may be quite long. I work for a company where we travel for work. The arrangement was that I’d be the one being driven until my old partner left and the only other person who was trained in the role of my old partner cannot drive.

This girl is however taking lessons, I understand they are expensive and she is genuinely doing her best however I am just getting a little of sick of doing all the driving. I get paid probably 5x more per day than what this girl gets paid (my role is higher) so not sure if I am being unreasonable.

I am self employed and my partner is PAYE so I do sometimes feel I have no obgliations to cart this girl around. There is no one else who could replace this girl and in all honesty I love my job and our working days are always fun but I just can’t be sure if I should speak to our boss and see what he thinks?

What does everyone else think?

OP posts:
HisBetterHalf · 08/02/2018 18:31

Are you using a company vehicle or private vehicle?

greenlynx · 08/02/2018 18:31

YABU, honestly, it sounds like it's a matter of principle for you: I have higher role therefore I should be driven.
I also agree that young person who just passed her driving test doesn't look like an exciting option as a driver.

If you are so unhappy that you get paid 5x times more and drive there are 2 solutions of this problem: you don't drive or you take a pay cut. Smile

bridgetreilly · 08/02/2018 18:32

YABVU. There are two of you working together. Only one of you is a qualified driver. That one should do the driving. Presumably you get to claim it all on expenses. Get over yourself.

BakedBeans47 · 08/02/2018 18:34

Also what do you expect your boss to say?

She can’t drive and there’s no one else to replace her.

If I were your boss and you came to me with this pathetic gripe I’d tell you to fuck off once she’d passed her test. Best be careful

VimFuego101 · 08/02/2018 18:34

Are you having to drive out of your way to pick her up? If not, I don't see the issue - it sounds like driving is part of your job.

Bluelady · 08/02/2018 18:34

Will you be sitting in the back when she drives? What a princess you are.

TwoIsQuiteEnoughThankyou · 08/02/2018 18:36

Y.........awwwwwwwnnnnnn

Bowerbird5 · 08/02/2018 18:38

Get a horse and cart then she can do all the driving😄

UndomesticHousewife · 08/02/2018 18:39

Aren’t you driving there anyway? Unless you spend your day ferrying her around like a chauffeur then yes yabu.
If she did drive then it would be different then it should be shared.

You’re being paid for your day the fact that you earn more is irrelevant, the people that pay you want you to do something so usually you do it.

44PumpLane · 08/02/2018 18:39

Is this a reverse?! Because surely you can't think it's okay to make a newly qualified driver do ALL the driving just because you earn 5 times more than she does (ridiculous brag and of no relevance really)!

I can see being a bit irritated as you are keen for her to finish learning so the two of you can share the driving- anything else is ridiculous.

BishBoshBashBop · 08/02/2018 18:41

am just getting a little of sick of doing all the driving. I get paid probably 5x more per day than what this girl gets paid (my role is higher) so not sure if I am being unreasonable.

YABU for that statement alone.

What has your pay got to do with it and calling your colleague 'This girl is offensive.

Tarraleaha · 08/02/2018 18:41

Well, the company could replace her by someone who is a qualified driver, but could very well lose their licence for any illegal driving, become unable to drive because of injury or some illness, and then replace THEM with a qualified driver.

If driving was so important for the company, why didn't they employ someone with a valid driving licence? They can still pay for her fast track course.

I think you are more than unreasonable to expect a new driver to do all the driving. You are forgetting how inexperienced they are, how tiring it is to drive at the beginning because it is stressful. If you get tired now, imagine how the poor girl is going to feel when she gets her licence!

callmekitten · 08/02/2018 18:42

This is the kind of petty shit that destroys good working relationships. We all have to take one for the team from time to time.

expatinscotland · 08/02/2018 18:42

What AnotherEmma said.

lookingforthedroids · 08/02/2018 18:42

I am self employed

Actually, no, your situation doesn't fit right with being self employed. You need to look at the HMRC website and check the criteria for self employment.

supersop60 · 08/02/2018 18:43

Why do you have to be driven? Do you have health issues - a back problem, say, which means you can't be in the same position for long?

personally - I hate being driven by anyone else. With DP I have to sit on my hands and button my lip, even though he's a terrible driver. (no, he really is)
OP - we need more info.

caoraich · 08/02/2018 18:50

The only situation I can think of where possibly YANBU is if you are in a senior role and she is meant to be your PA/Assistant/Driver and you would take her to meetings etc to assist you, but would crack on with work while in the car and she drove. I can see why having to be the one driving would be irritating here.

Otherwise, what do you expect to happen? She's learning, she's doing her best. Just be patient. And if it's not as above, why shouldn't you share anyway??

Dagnabit · 08/02/2018 19:01

Blimey, steady on, Miss Daisy... Hmm

Do you get expenses paid? Mileage allowance? She can't drive yet so she can't drive yet...I'm not sure what you expect her to do.

Leiaorganashair · 08/02/2018 19:09

Even if it's the OP likes to use the time in the car to get work done I would be questioning why she assumes that right is hers and not a 50/50 split.

MrsLinManuelMiranda · 08/02/2018 19:11

I think you should indeed speak to your boss about this. Perhaps he will agree that the situation is totally unacceptable and unfair...........and then hopefully he will add that you are being exceeding selfish!

Pumkinfailure · 08/02/2018 19:15

I think we need more information here OP. Is there something about your job that means it’s better that you don’t drive? Otherwise it seems a bit weird that you would expect to be driven everywhere (unless the girls job is actually that of a chauffeur).

summerdreamz · 08/02/2018 19:18

So it's ok for her to drive you around once she's passed but you're getting sick of having to drive now?
I'm not sure what you're expecting her to do tbh she is trying.
YABVVVU OP and abit of a CF.

PumpkinPie2016 · 08/02/2018 19:19

I don't see the problem here - the two of you work together and travel to the same place. You used to be driven because your work partner could drive. New partner is a learner driver and so can't drive at present.

She is taking lessons - what else do you actually want her to do?!

As an aside, I personally, would sooner stick pins in my eyes than let someone else drive me but then I am a nervous passenger Grin

NailsNeedDoing · 08/02/2018 19:22

I seem to be the only one, but I read this the other way to most.

I took it as if OP is thinking she might be being unfair towards the colleague because she earns less - as in in the OPs acknowledging she might be expecting too much and should suck it up because overall she's in the more fortunate position. Not that she's entitled to more because she earns more, and actually she's saying the opposite.

I'm really not explaining that very well!

NotACleverName · 08/02/2018 19:23

I'm not really sure a) what your issue is [she can't drive] and b) what you expect your boss to do.

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