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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh being unrealistic?

112 replies

Busybeesbutt · 07/02/2018 16:51

I'm currently very heavily pregnant with my 5th child. Baby looking to be another big one ie 9 pounds plus. Dh said to me yesterday that we should think about number 6 in the summer. I've always wanted a big family but has expecting me to think about another pregnancy when this one will still be tiny?

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/02/2018 16:53

Do you want baby 6 yet? If not, just tell him. Not sure what the issue is here?

GhostWriter666 · 07/02/2018 16:54

Say "let's get this one out first and we'll discuss it again when I'm ready"

Busybeesbutt · 07/02/2018 16:54

That he is unreasonable to expect me to get pregnant again when this baby will only be a few months old?

OP posts:
CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 07/02/2018 16:54

Jesus. Talk about getting ahead of yourself!

toolonglurking · 07/02/2018 16:58

You've already got a big family, do you really want another child after this one? Do you have space, can you afford it, and can your body manage it?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/02/2018 16:59

Well, he's a bit presumptive! Maybe it's the way he worded it.

If he'd said 'Do you want to have a baby no. 6 at any point in the future?' would that have been better? PS: Congrats on No. 5!

Spartaca · 07/02/2018 17:00

I'd actually be a bit angry tbh. You are not a baby factory, and each pregnancy takes its toll.

Myddognearlyatethedeliveryman · 07/02/2018 17:06

Ask him which baby he will be up in the night with as you can't do both!

newyearsameme80 · 07/02/2018 17:06

Wouldn’t it be nice to spend a bit of time focused on baby no.5 first? Does he think this makes him virile or something?

Passmethecakeplease · 07/02/2018 17:09

What about you though? What do you want?

Being pregnant isn't a walk in the park and, IMO, isn't fun. It's ok for him, I guarantee he doesn't cut out certain food, drink and activities in sympathy for you because if he did he wouldn't use you like a baby making machine.

Lunde · 07/02/2018 17:09

Do you want more children?

TolpuddleFarterOATB · 07/02/2018 17:11

I'm not saying this applies to your DH, but I find myself suspicious of men who seem to like to keep their partners pregnant. I suspect it's a form of control in some cases.

Gazelda · 07/02/2018 17:12

I'd be angry at him for that. It's as if he things your body's purpose is to produce babies. Which is fine, if was what you both want and so long as your health is a primary consideration.
What's the rush?

AdoraBell · 07/02/2018 17:15

He can think about number 6,7,9,10,11 etc right now. You can concentrate on number 5 for as long as you want to, and if you decide 5 is enough children then tell him you won’t have another baby.

ToadOfSadness · 07/02/2018 17:16

Tell him it's his turn next.

hadthesnip · 07/02/2018 17:16

Its a good job that the country isn't already over populated & have plenty of space for a family of 7 already.

Its not for me to say how you should live you life just as long as you don't expect social security benefits / housing benefits & you & your husband earn enough to pay for them.

neveradullmoment99 · 07/02/2018 17:19

Its a good job that the country isn't already over populated & have plenty of space for a family of 7 already.

Its not for me to say how you should live you life just as long as you don't expect social security benefits / housing benefits & you & your husband earn enough to pay for them.

What a horrible comment. You should be ashamed.

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 07/02/2018 17:24

Wow...that is pretty presumptuous!

How do you feel, is this pregnancy going well? Do you have any health issues that make your pregnancies high risk? How are your labour/births? And mostly do you even want another baby after this one?! How old are your other dc?

I think its ultimately up to you as its your body. How much does your husband help out with the children you already have?

PoorYorick · 07/02/2018 17:25

What do you want?

Lovemusic33 · 07/02/2018 17:26

Does he think you are a baby machine? Tell him you want time to recover and then you will discus it. Spend time with baby number 5 and decide when you are ready.

BigBaboonBum · 07/02/2018 17:29

Jesus, you’re not a baby making factory for him. How bizarre! Just have your baby and look after the ones you already have and then talk about it further down the line. Although after 5 babies I’d be keeping his penis well away!

Strokethefurrywall · 07/02/2018 17:32

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TheNavigator · 07/02/2018 17:33

Why do you keep having children? Is it a joint decision?

newyearsameme80 · 07/02/2018 17:37

Would posters really think this was a great plan if neither parent worked? I’d be very surprised at that.

Busybeesbutt · 07/02/2018 17:38

Other children are 12,9, 5 and 3. Yes I do want a big family and yes my husband does work and I'm a stay at home mum. My smallest baby was 9lb 4oz so it's the toll on My body that worries me. Its the presumptuous attitude of him that's pissed me off.

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