Missing him

[Lilmis]

Hubby had been australia for a week and still another week to go. Never been apart in 13 years apart from once. The children and I are missing him like crazy. I cried the first 5 days and so hve the children. Is this normal or am I being ott!!

Catch yourself on OP. A poor example for the dc, unless you are seriously exaggerating!

True, Tatiana.

As a child, well and still now frankly, I would have felt very insecure if my mother was visibly upset like this over a short trip. I am not surprised the dc are crying. OP why not, if you haven't already, get them focused on making a welcome home sign or whatever? And planning little activities, ie. 'Won't daddy be pleased when we tell him we did this...?'

Also, won't daddy be pleased to hear how good you have all been, won't daddy be pleased to come home and see you've all tidied your rooms?

Definitely YABU! Forces wife here too, and you really do need to keep it together for the DC. He's only in Oz, not some war zone, probably having a lovely time in the sun. Maybe should you should try and involve yourself in other friends, interests or activities so you have time to indulge in them when he's away. Make the most of it and explore what's out there locally! He'll be back soon and you'll have someone else to consider!!!

If my DH is not in bed with me at night I will cry, I love him absolutely and miss him painfully when he is not with me

^ See now, that makes me feel like a cold-hearted witch because I just love the nights when DH won't be home(work-related). I love having the bed to myself, watching trash TV in bed and just being really lazy.

'You will get many coldhearted people on mumsnet, a few of which are'nt overly fond of their DH so are hardly going to cry in his absence.'

Am actually rather fond of mine and so are dc funnily enough.

However our working/family lives aren't conducive with tears for 5 days. My life isn't reduced to this....thank the Lord.

It's normal to miss him. But the crying? Did your children see you cry? If so this seems unhealthy as it creates the impression for them that you cannot function properly as an adult without him.

'If my DH is not in bed with me at night I will cry, I love him absolutely and miss him painfully when he is not with me'

If this is for real then catch this grip.

Agree with PP, this sounds rather odd to me. I think you need to reign it in, if only for the DC sake. I imagine they are very worried about you.

Are you overly dependent on DH generally?

Being 100% dependent on one person for your happiness is generally a HUGE mistake. What would you do if you split up?

My husband is away for approx 10 days a month, 8/9 months of the year. If I spent 5 days crying each time, I’d get nothing done. I think you need to get a grip

My DH and both children have gone away for a week this morning. I'm currently scoffing a Maltesers bar having had my M&S meal for one, I have a glass of rose in hand and a hot bath ready! Then I'm going to get into bed in a star shape, taking up the whole bed, and binge watch Netflix on my laptop - heaven!

Have to agree with most. Although I hated it when my ex went away, I certainly didn't cry about it!

furrymuff

OMG That sounds amazing, I'm a bit jealous.

It's actually quite common not to "cope" when you are bereaved of your spouse. And certainly not something to be sneered at

This is true. But not being able to cope because your DH has gone away for two weeks is a tad ridiculous, tbh. And I think you were deliberately missing the point of Ragworts post.

Yeah OTT. I always rejoice by eating wtf I want, when I want and enjoying all the bed.

YABU also for refering to your husband and “hubby”.

*as

Damn I've always been ruthlessly independent but I have no shame saying how much I miss my DH when we're apart.

Normally I'm ok for a night or two but by the third night I find it hard to fall asleep and I'll probably cry when I do get to see him.

Now I'm pregnant I'll cry the first night.

It's ok to feel sad and let it out.

Also we're meant to like seeing our OHs everyday. It's why we choose to live with the one we love and not maintain separate homes and date twice a week. You cope if you have to (salute to forces wives) but it's not the ideal.

Is it just a couple of tears before bedtime type of thing because I have an image of you all wailing all day throughout breakfast, the school run, bath time etc.

I'm sorry I sound unsympathetic. I'm just not a crier. He'll be back home before you know it.

I love it when DH goes away! I can sleep like a starfish in the middle of our bed. Pure bliss.

It’s normal to miss your DH. I wouldn’t cry. At all. However, you are possibly a more emotional person than I am? Possibly your children are much younger as well? That would be more difficult- mine are quite self sufficient now and only remember DH isn’t here when he FaceTimes us.

My DH has been away since August for work. He came back for a week in October and a week in December. I miss him a lot and did cry a bit at the beginning and each time he went away again, but it does get easier. Now we’re counting down the days until he’s home for good. My advice would be to keep busy. I’m also trying to do things to impress/spite him like getting into good habits with eating and cleaning the house or wallpapering our bedroom with some crazy monkey wallpaper he won’t like. 😈

Normal to miss him, not normal to cry imo.

I never ever miss my DP. I envy that you love him that much and am relieved that I'm not beholden to my feelings that way.

Wow guys, no need to be so mean about it.... Don't hit a person when they r already down. P. S crying doesn't mean it's 24/7