About School and detention?

[Recallclock]

Prepared to be flamed.

Dd has sen and is according to schools own safeguarding team 'vulnerable'
Because of bullying and lack of options when we moved her her new school is out of Borough.

There has been a few times she has been kept back as a whole class detention because someone else wouldn't shut up talking and missed her connecting bus and got home very late leaving her waiting forty minutes alone at a bus stop and walking through the door at 6.30pm. (her school finished at 4.10pm but even keeping them back twenty minutes means she misses her commenting bus.)

I had a lot of involvement with the old senco who was brilliant and was in contact regularly but a new one has started and I have little involvement with her however I spoke to her on the advice of Mumsnet and asked for dd to be not kept back if she had not been involved due to her issues getting home and if she had to be given recall for herself if it could be done at lunch or if it had to be after school with notice so I could sort collection. She's never had individual recall.

I have just had a phone call now to say she is being kept back tonight as she hasn't done her homework. I'm not impressed she has not done her homework (she does have organisation issues as part of her sen) but she's not done it so fair enough.
I'm miles away with no car and can't get hold of my Dad to get her so my sen child will be on detention until 5pm and isn't likely to walk through the door until 7pm.
She also doesn't know the buses at other times so is going to be in a right state.

Aibu to have expected them to give a sen child 24 hours notice particularly when I have asked and they agreed or keep her in at lunch?

I agree Tour! I think Peng’s school have a lot more to worry about than detentions

Parent blaming should be the first item on the agenda. If they had the same passion for meeting needs, as they do detention

Peng - if children start with a higher level of attainment, then regress. If the needs of children with SEN are not being meet etc. You appear to be blaming it on lack of punishment.

I don’t agree. I find schools who use positive reinforcement, not negative reinforcement have much better outcomes

Peng with the greatest of respect, I send my children there! To say because parents don’t work there, they have no idea, is well, a bit childish!

I know

'There is a significant gap in nationwide attainment between children with SN and NT children. The school system is not set up for teachers to meet individual needs in the classroom, however much people like to try to believe otherwise.'

Actually I kind of agree. Although some schools do sen support amazingly I find the vast majority of secondary sencos I have known or as a parent working with or senco of the parents of sen children I know are just firefighting with 1500 kids in some schools and many kids with varying degrees of needs.
Of course if the senco has ten children for whom a trigger means they throw chairs and are aggressive or hurt their selves then of course kids like mine who are mostly quiet and will sit and drown quietly like a fizzing bottle and explode at home will drown. School don't have to deal with the meltdown at home is it isn't their problem.
And tbh half the time I'm not sure they even believe that the child meltdown at home after stresses of the school day.

I have at least three friends with children out of school because they literally can't cope anymore with anxiety/sen and lack of support.

It makes me so cross that the whole education system is failing kids with Sen.
When I was a child there were special schools for children near us who academically were able but needed high pastoral support.

Now the option is drown in state. Hope to God you get an amazing senco or pay 30k fees for a specialist school.

Actually going off topic from the initial issue I would say that out of my five friends with children with Sen, only one feels their child is getting the best support (in a specialist private school) and the rest are just trying to get their kids through the last few years as mental health unscathed as possible.

Why would I send my child to a school where children regress upon entry, needs are not met, children’s behaviour is shocking and attitudes are punish and inflexibility?

'But none of that is helped by inconsistent boundaries. It is helped by flexibility where that constitutes a reasonable adjustment.'

Absolutely. I was off topic from my initial issue in response to your comments about your school.

‘There is a significant gap in nationwide attainment between children with SN and NT children. The school system is not set up for teachers to meet individual needs in the classroom, however much people like to try to believe otherwise.'

I totally agree too. However, I don’t believe the solution has anything to do with detentions or the behaviour of other pupils.

Why as a parent, would I have no idea of what I’m talking about?

I know what works for my children and negative reinforcement, particularly over use of it, does not work. It doesn’t improve behaviour, it just causes resentment and break down of relationships and trust.

Nothing like working in partnership with parents eh!! I can see why this would be a problem for you.

I will consider myself told off and ignored!

And a parent refusing to make arrangements for a child to be collected after a detention is putting their child at risk.

As a single parent who works evenings i have no way of getting my child home from school should they get detention and miss thier bus. (They never have)

School have a duty of care and leaving a vulnerable child or any child for that matter standing at a bus stop alone for 40 minutes in the dark and freezing cold is clearly the opposite of that.

The teacher who said it wasnt their problem is a dick and should have safeguarding updating.