Not so much an AIBU, just looking for some advice really. I have name changed for this, as I have a few friends & relatives who are on Mumsnet also. Sorry that this is long!!
My 18 year old has been looking at specific degree courses (don't want to say what, as quite outing) and she has applied for a few through UCAS and one independently, but I am finding the cost of getting her to the interviews extortionate. Most of the Universities she has applied for are 4-6 hours travelling distance away, and without gong into details about her course, she would be expected to stay at the Uni for 5-6 hrs on the day of the interview as there are several parts to the interview. As a non-driver this entails mostly two overnight stays per interview - one on the way there and one on the way back as there aren't any trains to get us there in time on the same day, or to get us back to our small northern town afterwards on the same day. Most of the Unis that she has applied to are down south, so even budget hotel lines can be fairly expensive, depending on the day and area. None of the interviews can be changed as these are mostly the last dates available, and none are consecutive so we can't take advantage of attending one the day after another.
I have priced it up for her to travel alone (daunting for a just 18 yr old from a small rural northern town - journeys are up to / 5 train changes mostly via London) and by the time we have used our railcard it doesn't make much of a price difference, and the hotels seem to charge around the same for 1 or 2 people in a room so it makes more sense for us both to go so she has the reassurance about the travel. We don't have anyone to ask who could drive her there instead, (her dad wont take time off work for this, nor will he contribute anything towards the cost. He feels he has done his part as he contributed 25% of the cost of attending a Uni open day, of which she has only been to one ).
After working it out, I have estimated that each trip will cost in the region of £250 - £350, and that is staying at cheapest hotels, travelling at cheapest time of the day whenever possible to fit in around the timing of the interview. All of the interview dates are within a 3 week window in March - how the heck am I supposed to afford it, I am a single parent on a low income, and although I have been putting some money away towards this (as and when I could afford it) it won't even cover one of the trips.
I just don't know what to do.
Do I tell her that I can't afford it, and that she can't go? Do I near bankrupt myself, by borrowing money from my household bills to take her? The amount that I am needing to find by March (or preferably before then, to get the cheapest hotel & train rates) could take me years to pay off / re juggle household bills up to date.
Do we risk it and only attend one or two? (what then, if she is offered a place at neither, and she has missed the other interviews?)
Or just go to her first couple of choice interviews but these have more demand for places?
We have discussed the possibility of not attending later interviews if she is offered a place at an earlier one, but these are not her first choice Unis within the first few interviews, and ideally we would have travel booked asap for the best prices, as leaving it until the week before to book is so expensive.
It's a dilemma. Please don't say, I should have saved for this - I have done my best, but money in our house is very tight and we only have a little disposable income each month. Just want some ideas, suggestions on the best thing to do in this situation!