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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not support friends new business venture

216 replies

melclaire1111 · 05/02/2018 06:17

Not sure if I'm being a bit unfair or if i should stick with my current stance!

I Have a friend, let's call her B. We have been friends for many years after meeting through mutual school friends and have been through many milestones together (broken relationships, engagements, weddings, buying houses etc)

That's about where the similarity ends tho. B went to uni and came out with a very well paid job which she progressed further into (financial controller type role) I didn't go to uni but instead work in a more administrative role at team leader level, any more responsibility does not appeal to me and am perfectly happy.

We both had DC's within 6 month of each other. B didn't return to work. She was made redundant while on maternity leave and was fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with DC. I went bavk full time after 8 months as financially we needed the money and I wanted DC to go to a nursery setting which they do full time and are absolutely thriving there. B and i have argued about this in the past as she has called me an absent parent for doing this and did once say what was the point in having children if all I did was send them to childcare but we have agreed to have difference of opinions on this!

Anyway b has recently started selling products to a well know MLM company, and is flooding her Facebook with posts about how great the products are and trying to get everyone to buy them. The products don't really appeal to me but I have put a few 'likes on her posts to support her.

Today however I received a message asking if i wanted to buy anything as she was putting an order in today. I politely said no as we don't have much money spare (attempting to move house so all spare money is going towards that as the potential new house needs some work) she then replied saying I was the only one of her friends who hadn't brought anything, she was hurt that I'm not supporting her and if it was me she would be buying everything she could. I told her that I think shes doing really well but the products aren't for my liking (she sells make up, I barely wear a coat of mascara when I go out, for work I wear no make up!) And that I didn't have the money to spend on stuff I don't need!

She then carried in saying that I could order the cheapest item they do (£35) and that would make her happy! I politely declined again and received a massive rant how I was an awful friend and she has now blocked me on everything!

I don't feel I'm being unreasonable but Wasn't expecting her reaction I guess.

OP posts:
lostmyslippers · 05/02/2018 06:22

No @melclaire1111 you are certainly not BU!! She is not a friend! Friends don't behave like that. Her behaviour is shocking not to mention bullish!

RedPanda2 · 05/02/2018 06:24

I feel for you. She likely won't stop pressuring you to buy stuff as she won't make any money (you don't with MLMs) and the make up is terrible quality.
Unfollow her and keep saying no, unfortunately many friendships are lost through MLMs.

MsHopey · 05/02/2018 06:25

She's putting her needs before her own. And trying to make you feel bad about it.
You politely declined and explained the reason why. I think she should have left it at that.
How much of the £35 does she get to keep? Like 10% or something?
If she wants to lose a friend over £3.50, then you are much better off without her.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/02/2018 06:25

She has been brainwashed by the MLM but it didn’t sound like she was a great friend to begin with.

Verity23 · 05/02/2018 06:26

I knew it was going to be MLM as soon as I read the title. YANBU, I refuse to support MLM businesses. She is massively unreasonable to treat you that way and I think you'll be better off without her, especially considering how rude she was to you about returning to work.

Cherrycokewinning · 05/02/2018 06:28

I would’ve cut her off the second she called me an absent parent

babyccinoo · 05/02/2018 06:28

Knew it would be MLM! YANBU.

If she's blocked you, you have had a lucky escape. Although she'll probably be back.

I would block her too while you have the chance.

You don't leave your child in childcare just you can finance and enable her to stay at home!

It's sad that an edicated woman at Financial Controller type level has let herself be exploited, but don't help her to exploit others.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/02/2018 06:32

For interest, this blog explains how easy it is to be sucked in.

ellebeaublog.com/2017/02/01/chapter-1-getting-reeled-in/

If she had been a nice person before, I’d say ride the storm but she wasn’t so I would just let the friendship fizzle out.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 05/02/2018 06:33

You should have ditched her when she criticised you for working. Judgemental cow. Definitely don’t buy her crap now.

SabineUndine · 05/02/2018 06:37

Don’t do it. I had a ‘friend’ who not only nagged me into buying makeup from her but got me to introduce some of my friends to her. It became highly embarrassing because she was pushy and a PITA. I would say no and ask her not to ask you again.

loveablether · 05/02/2018 06:38

Is MLM the brand? Totally wave ta ta to her - these companies send normal folks into people you question if they really wanted to meet for coffee to see you and hear your news or if they really just wanted to try and persuade you that your £1 sure roll on would kill you and actually that their £15 mint scented deodarent will stop you from getting cancer Hmm

rwalker · 05/02/2018 06:38

it's really sad when people who you think are friends show themselves to be the selfish twats they are.

araiwa · 05/02/2018 06:38

thats an exceedingly long preamble to some mlm guff and nonsense

Pengggwn · 05/02/2018 06:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SabineUndine · 05/02/2018 06:40

Sorry just seen she’s blocked you. Block her back. She’ll lose a lot of friends over this.

KayaG · 05/02/2018 06:40

Weather the storm and wait for her to realise she's been a mug.

Pengggwn · 05/02/2018 06:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 05/02/2018 06:45

She's a cheeky mare! How dare she judge your decision to return to work. Sounds like you are well rid.

Evelynismycatsformerspyname · 05/02/2018 06:47

I've lost a friend who's turned into a MLM bit too - like you not a close friend but one of long standing. It's a shame. There's a cultishness to the MLM schemes - people who've bought in seem not to be allowed to have friends who are sceptical and cut anyone not gushing enthusiasm and money out of their lives.

Mintychoc1 · 05/02/2018 06:52

If that's her attitude then she'll pretty soon have no friends left. People won't want to keep buying stuff at the rate she wants them to, so one by one she'll lose them.

confusedhelpme · 05/02/2018 06:54

@loveablether MLM is multi level marketing

Like forever living, younique bollocks

Thishatisnotmine · 05/02/2018 06:54

Make up and the cheapest product is £35?!

What a shame. Maybe one say she will see sense and you can pick up your friendship again. Until then her 'fantastic business opportunity' will be more important to her.

NapQueen · 05/02/2018 06:58

She was lucky you didnt kick her to the curb after her heinous comments about you being a working mum. This would be the final straw for me.

I have a friend who sells Younique and when she started I was very concerned for our friendship. However i also dont wear make up and have hidden her business and personal feeds on FB and now only communicate via whatsapp. She never mentions Younique to me thankfully, and our friendship seems to be surviving.

I do hope that she eventually stops selling it, however at the moment it isnt directly affecting me so I suppose i cant wish for more.

murmuration · 05/02/2018 06:59

I expected an MLM from the title. YANBU. Nobody has to buy things because they're friends, especially if they don't care for the product! She's just essentially asking you to hand over £35. Probably because she's gotten herself into an MLM-bind and panicking.

And to match that with her terrible words when you were working - honestly, I imagine that was some kind of self-justification of her choices. (What if she hadn't been made redundant? Was she planning to quit?) It seems she's the kind to lash out at other people and expect everyone to support her and doesn't really think from anyone else's perspective.

If she's blocked you, I think you're well rid.

NicheArea · 05/02/2018 07:01

You have declined politely and even gone as far as to provide reasons for not purchasing. She is brazen, pushy, greedy and shameless (all the signs of a bad salesperson).
I like @Pengggwn's message about not needing to buy her products to prove your friendship or support. Send something similar and block her - with a clear conscience.