Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not support friends new business venture

216 replies

melclaire1111 · 05/02/2018 06:17

Not sure if I'm being a bit unfair or if i should stick with my current stance!

I Have a friend, let's call her B. We have been friends for many years after meeting through mutual school friends and have been through many milestones together (broken relationships, engagements, weddings, buying houses etc)

That's about where the similarity ends tho. B went to uni and came out with a very well paid job which she progressed further into (financial controller type role) I didn't go to uni but instead work in a more administrative role at team leader level, any more responsibility does not appeal to me and am perfectly happy.

We both had DC's within 6 month of each other. B didn't return to work. She was made redundant while on maternity leave and was fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with DC. I went bavk full time after 8 months as financially we needed the money and I wanted DC to go to a nursery setting which they do full time and are absolutely thriving there. B and i have argued about this in the past as she has called me an absent parent for doing this and did once say what was the point in having children if all I did was send them to childcare but we have agreed to have difference of opinions on this!

Anyway b has recently started selling products to a well know MLM company, and is flooding her Facebook with posts about how great the products are and trying to get everyone to buy them. The products don't really appeal to me but I have put a few 'likes on her posts to support her.

Today however I received a message asking if i wanted to buy anything as she was putting an order in today. I politely said no as we don't have much money spare (attempting to move house so all spare money is going towards that as the potential new house needs some work) she then replied saying I was the only one of her friends who hadn't brought anything, she was hurt that I'm not supporting her and if it was me she would be buying everything she could. I told her that I think shes doing really well but the products aren't for my liking (she sells make up, I barely wear a coat of mascara when I go out, for work I wear no make up!) And that I didn't have the money to spend on stuff I don't need!

She then carried in saying that I could order the cheapest item they do (£35) and that would make her happy! I politely declined again and received a massive rant how I was an awful friend and she has now blocked me on everything!

I don't feel I'm being unreasonable but Wasn't expecting her reaction I guess.

OP posts:
RavenLG · 05/02/2018 07:04

You’re better off without the judgemental cow op. Just because she’s in a position to be able to financially afford being a sahp then fine, but to judge you for going back to work!! She’s a massive CF. If you can still text her (I know she’s blocked you on social media but you may be able to text still) I’d text what Pengggwn said. MLMs are the work of the devil. I’ve a close friend who started selling a well know shakes and capsules one. Luckily she doesn’t push it on us, because I would say it’s all crap. She reckons she makes money from it. I’m not sure how. I just find it annoying these sellers say they have their own business, no you don’t and it’s insulting to people who have actual gone through the struggle of setting up their own legitimate business/rant

toolazytothinkofausername · 05/02/2018 07:04

This is where you went wrong.

"B and i have argued about this in the past as she has called me an absent parent".

At this point in the story you should have told her to f-off!!! She sounds like a pathetic human being and not worth another moment of your time.

Skustew · 05/02/2018 07:04

You could of said that all in once sentence!

Mlm is not a buisness.

Hissy · 05/02/2018 07:05

Getting rid of a judgemental, up herself idiot for the price of a MLM starter pack?

Priceless

Soubriquet · 05/02/2018 07:06

Unfortunately, you have lost a friend there.

People who get involved in MLM selling are completely brainwashed to think friends will buy their stuff, and you aren't a friend if you don't.

Until she stops selling, you won't get anywhere with her.

Mirrormirrorotw · 05/02/2018 07:10

She is BVVVU (and is an utterly shit friend - and she was before this incident when she dared to suggest you’re a crap mother)

With friends like this who needs enemies?

Go ‘Grey Rock’ on her and when she realises her ‘drama’ isn’t getting any response from you and she unblocks you just ignore her - completely.

Idontevencareanymore · 05/02/2018 07:10

I'd have replied a friend would have supported my need to be in full time work and not made me feel like a crap parent over it, so what's up with that eh!

Then blocked. Actually id have ditched her arse the day she criticised me. You're well off away from it.

thiskittenbarks · 05/02/2018 07:10

She sounds awful. How many lots of £35 will her friends have to spend to keep proving their friendship? Surely everyone will grow tired of buying the crap and she will have to cut off all her friends?
Mind you a friend of mine spends an absolute fortune every month on stuff that she knows is overpriced nonsense because it's her friends MLM "business" and she doesn't want to be unsupportive.
MLM is such a load of balls and it's so sad the way people get dragged in so deep.

babyccinoo · 05/02/2018 07:11

I was the only one of her friends who hadn't brought anything

If you were the only one not supporting her then she wouldn't be tantrumming upset.

I politely declined again and received a massive rant how I was an awful friend and she has now blocked me on everything!

It's much easier to take it out on you for not being 'supportive' than admit she has made a mistake.

babyccinoo · 05/02/2018 07:12

i quite like getting the backstory, not sure why people think OP's post is long.

OldBook · 05/02/2018 07:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sumo1 · 05/02/2018 07:19

Just say no. It's so easy to get sucked in to buying this stuff. So you buy one thing to get out of the embarrassing situation they are making, by asking you to buy something you don't want, and of course then come back and say ' how was the X? Isn't it great, shall I order you some more'. So you go through the embarrassing situation over and over.
So just say no the first time.

ChasedByBees · 05/02/2018 07:23

You’ve done the right thing and are better off without her.

Truthstar · 05/02/2018 07:24

Fuck her. Let her jog right on. Shes a lost cause now anyway. MLM changes them all, but your friend sounds like she was quite the dick before 😉

Rudi44 · 05/02/2018 07:26

If it were me our friendship would have ended at the point she called me an absent parent.
She sounds vile, opinionated, and a bully.
Don't waste your time worrying about her, you have had a lucky escape

KimmySchmidt1 · 05/02/2018 07:30

I feel bad for her but begging friends to buy stuff they don’t want is not a business model it’s a charity. She shouldn’t be using your friendship to squeeze a sale.

Imverypleasedtomeetyou · 05/02/2018 07:31

Oh god, been there OP!

I have two friends who started doing this rather than going back to their full time jobs after having a baby. One selling make up and the other jewellery. Just like you I've been bombarded with messages but have never bought a thing. I've also said I can't afford £35 for a mascara, I spend about £8 on one! I'm sticking to my guns and won't get involved in what I see as overpriced make up and tat jewellery.

ArchchancellorsHat · 05/02/2018 07:42

Well she's blocked you now so I would just be glad of that and leave it there.

No, you weren't being a bad friend. She was a shitty friend for laying into you about childcare, and shitty again for essentially trying to browbeat you into spending 35£ on crap you don't want. I suspect you weren't the only one she's been doing that to either - probably no one bought the stuff. If she'd been a better friend before MLM I'd wait it out and see how she was in a few months, but she wasn't nice beforehand either.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/02/2018 07:43

She is not a good friend. Good friends don't behVe like this. I remember a poster linking an article somebody wrote about MLM, she tried it. She was totally brainwashed, her friends were really annoyed at her behaviour and lost friends over it. She will see this in time when it does not work out.

TheFirstMrsDV · 05/02/2018 07:57

I am amazed she blocked you.
Count that as a lucky escape.
These women are relentless.

expatinscotland · 05/02/2018 07:59

I would think, 'Good riddance!' YANBU

Hortonlovesahoo · 05/02/2018 08:04

Ive has 2 friends like this and you’ve been kinder than I was! It’s her loss and she’s doesn’t deserve a friend like you

Groovee · 05/02/2018 08:05

If you go into your privacy settings then blocking on Facebook, you can input her name and block her back. Means that when her upline tells her to unblock you, she won't be able to find you.

TerracottaAmy · 05/02/2018 08:12

If you go into your privacy settings then blocking on Facebook, you can input her name and block her back. Means that when her upline tells her to unblock you, she won't be able to find you

I did this to my abusive employer. She blocked ME because I had left her employ (bully boss) so I found out her email address on facebook (a mutual friend helped me) and put her into blocked list

BashStreetKid · 05/02/2018 08:12

If she were a genuine friend she wouldn't try to bully you into buying overpriced tat. Refer her to the many sources of information about what a scam MLM is, and tell her you will be there for her when she realises the truth about it for herself.