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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not support friends new business venture

216 replies

melclaire1111 · 05/02/2018 06:17

Not sure if I'm being a bit unfair or if i should stick with my current stance!

I Have a friend, let's call her B. We have been friends for many years after meeting through mutual school friends and have been through many milestones together (broken relationships, engagements, weddings, buying houses etc)

That's about where the similarity ends tho. B went to uni and came out with a very well paid job which she progressed further into (financial controller type role) I didn't go to uni but instead work in a more administrative role at team leader level, any more responsibility does not appeal to me and am perfectly happy.

We both had DC's within 6 month of each other. B didn't return to work. She was made redundant while on maternity leave and was fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with DC. I went bavk full time after 8 months as financially we needed the money and I wanted DC to go to a nursery setting which they do full time and are absolutely thriving there. B and i have argued about this in the past as she has called me an absent parent for doing this and did once say what was the point in having children if all I did was send them to childcare but we have agreed to have difference of opinions on this!

Anyway b has recently started selling products to a well know MLM company, and is flooding her Facebook with posts about how great the products are and trying to get everyone to buy them. The products don't really appeal to me but I have put a few 'likes on her posts to support her.

Today however I received a message asking if i wanted to buy anything as she was putting an order in today. I politely said no as we don't have much money spare (attempting to move house so all spare money is going towards that as the potential new house needs some work) she then replied saying I was the only one of her friends who hadn't brought anything, she was hurt that I'm not supporting her and if it was me she would be buying everything she could. I told her that I think shes doing really well but the products aren't for my liking (she sells make up, I barely wear a coat of mascara when I go out, for work I wear no make up!) And that I didn't have the money to spend on stuff I don't need!

She then carried in saying that I could order the cheapest item they do (£35) and that would make her happy! I politely declined again and received a massive rant how I was an awful friend and she has now blocked me on everything!

I don't feel I'm being unreasonable but Wasn't expecting her reaction I guess.

OP posts:
Sashkin · 05/02/2018 16:03

I was the only one of her friends who hadn't brought anything

Bollocks have they all bought stuff! I doubt anyone’s bought anything, hence the FB flounce GrinGrinGrin

Strongmummy · 05/02/2018 16:33

I have a (not very close) friend who’s fallen for this shite and posts non stop as to how she’s a bloody #bossbabe on Facebook. Everytime I see her updates I want to tell her how stupid she’s being, but I’d just feel like a cow and also she doesn’t pressure me into buying anything so it’d just be me ranting ! I find the whole #bossbabe name so derogatory !!!!

mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 05/02/2018 16:43

I'd have stopped being her friend when she called me an absent parent. That was awful behaviour.

RowenasDiadem · 05/02/2018 17:17

I HATE MLM, aka Pyramid schemes. Would your friend be okay with asking anyone to give her £35 cash for nothing simply because she wanted money? Of course not. Making you buy something you neither want nor need is akin to asking for a financial handout. It's not even lending. It's a straight out, "Can I have £35?"

Drop her. Very few MLM reps keep it up. Once they've fleeced their friends there's no one left, the sales dry up and they move on. Juice Plus next maybe?

misscheery · 05/02/2018 17:27

So you couldn't afford staying at home with your little one and she told you you're an absent parent? What a CUNT. I'll leave it at that, it's enough for me.

DamsonGin · 05/02/2018 17:34

You're definitely best out of it.

BashStreetKid · 05/02/2018 17:37

she has a put a massive rant in her online group about how people don't understand how she is trying to change her life and do what's best for her and if people didn't support her 'dreams of working for herself' then she was better without.

I'd love to know why she thinks other people have an obligation to spend money they can ill afford on overpriced rubbish just because she thinks it would be best for her.

PoorYorick · 05/02/2018 19:18

That's the other irritating thing about them. They don't actually learn or use proper sales techniques. Ranting about friendships is not what actual salespeople do.

blackcoffeeredwine · 05/02/2018 19:42

The only part of this yabu about is calling it a business venture. It’s not, it’s pyramid selling shite. I hate it with a passion, should be illegal.

Jux · 06/02/2018 00:11

I got sucked into one once, well I've been pulled into a couple. I'm lucky, in that I always so embarrassed and guilty trying to sell to friends whom I knew were as strapped for cash as I was that I simply culdn't sell anything. My mum bought a water filter out of the kindness of her heart, and actually quite liked it.

As it's pyramid selling in all but name, I have no idea how they get away with it. Pyramid selling is illegal isn't it? There doesn't seem to be much difference.

cakeflower · 06/02/2018 11:28

The gall of these people. She’s straight up demanding you give her £35! I run my own (genuine) business; there is no way in hell I would ever dream of demanding my friends buy my services. Makes my blood boil. Our former nanny got into juice plus and pressured me to buy, and when I refused she unfriended me.

PoorYorick · 06/02/2018 11:52

I feel sorry for a lot of them. Many of the ones I know are low income or single mothers who honestly think it's a good way to provide financially while still spending time with their kids. I'm not excusing the cultishness, the hard sell, the whining and all that, but the entire business model is designed to prey on mothers with guilt.

MrsPreston11 · 06/02/2018 11:55

Unfriend and block with immediate effect.

MLMs make people crazy. I mute anyone on my FB who starts an MLM "business" and if they pester me then they get unfriended.

Also give this a read:

ellebeaublog.com/poonique/

MrsPreston11 · 06/02/2018 12:00

Oops just read the thread and seen the blog has already been posted a few times. Nice to see others have read it too.

Shadow666 · 06/02/2018 12:12

A friend of mine started selling Younique. The thing is, it’s very heavy make up. If their target market is the mom crowd, I don’t know why they don’t focus on more every day make up rather than going out on the town make up. My friend initially got a lot of orders but they soon dried up and here’s the kicker, if you don’t sell 125 dollars worth in 3 months, you have to make up the sales through your own purchases. So, rather than making money, she was in the awful position of having to spend money every month to keep active and now has enough make up to last a lifetime and ended up seriously out of pocket.

She got out though and was last seen selling some kind of essential oil 🤦‍♀️

PinkyBlunder · 06/02/2018 12:14

So you couldn't afford staying at home with your little one and she told you you're an absent parent? What a CUNT.

This.

Also, it’s not a business venture, it’s a scam. It’s a scamming the people closest to her and it’s scaming her. As a hard working small business owner, MLMs make me sick.

pesaki · 06/02/2018 12:25

This reply has been deleted

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ImLosingMyMind · 06/02/2018 12:30

I was the only one of her friends who hadn't brought anything

Bollocks. I bet loads haven't.

OracleofDelphi · 06/02/2018 12:37

they are such arseholes MLM-ers...... Ive seen all sort of shit bandied about by them " making memories / creating a future for my family / and my favourite new one - creating a WILLABLE asset for your children Grin.... yes thats right - when you die your children wont need to worry because they too can have your contacts for people who like the taste of Aloe Vera or overpriced face products. .... FFS!

You are 100% in the right and dont give it a second thought. She is in the grip of the MLM craze and wont listen to any reasoning you provide her with. Selling someone else's product for them isnt running your own business. Relying on the goodwill of friends or family to buy said tat, isnt a business. Spending your day forcing others to buy your products and "networking" with other mums over lattes and instgramming about "working for yourself" inst a business... sigh.....

I do run my own business and have done for 15 years. My business is in products and services in offices up and down the land. So most of my friends could technically help me. It wouldnt occur to me to ask them as I grow my business through creating business sales leads not expecting my friends to do me favours.

well out of it love - block back and move on lovely

DagenhamRoundhouse · 06/02/2018 17:35

what does MLM mean?

k2p2k2tog · 06/02/2018 17:37

Multi-level marketing.

NotAnotherEmma · 06/02/2018 17:58

She's a bitch, she doesn't respect or support your decisions with raising your children or respect that friends aren't little cash machines for her to pluck sales out of. I say good riddance to such a rubbish "friend".

Jux · 06/02/2018 17:58

It's a bit like joining a cult.

Why is MLM allowed, when pyramids aren't? What is the difference? Does anyone know?

mimibunz · 06/02/2018 18:00

My sister got involved with an MLM, posted all over FB and did serious guilt tripping. Then she sent a FB friend request to a dear friend of mine whom she barely knew and I lost my shite! Apparently these groups also target vulnerable women looking to make friends in the community. There was a study done on MLMs targeting military wives. Interesting read.

martellandginger · 06/02/2018 18:03

Well if she has blocked you, thank your lucky stars and make sure she can’t friend you again or see your posts.