To be upset that DS can't have a birthday party?

[ilovemilton]

DS birthday falls on a Sunday, on a weekend where contact is Fri-Mon.

DS wants to stay home and have a party with his friends, cake, presents etc.

Exh says that if I want to give him a party, I do it on my time. His close friends aren’t available in the week and so it would be a week after his birthday.

DS is so upset that he isn’t having a party - to him a week is a long time and even though he knows it will be good, he says it’s not the same. He’s begging me to collect him from school not exh. He’ll be lucky to get a present off exh, let alone any kind of fuss.

I feel so sad for him. You can’t really give me any solutions, I’m just venting about exh being a dick and my son being upset; and me not being able to do anything.

You can hold a Party away from the actual birthday. People with Kids whose birthdays are in holidays do it all the time. Friend held her dds Party 2months After the birthday, no prob

Been there OP. It's absolutely shit and incredibly damaging. I noticed you have to have the same Cafcass and judge which surprised me. I don't think I ever got the same magistrates and had 6 different Cafcass officers although only met 3 as others retired/went off sick/were replaced. Your son will very soon be of an age to be listened too.

I do get there are parents who manipulate and use children to hurt the ex but there are cases where it's not in the children's best interest due to the ex's behaviour and lack of care but it's so bloody hard to prove and in the meantime children are unhappy and damaged.

Witch I seem to remember that judges can sometimes rule that only they will hear cases brought by a particular (former) family. Fine if it works in your favour, if not, you've just lost any chance of justice.

Talk to ds about who he can talk to about anything... as was suggested.... a teacher at school for example.
You might explain in simple language without being negative that a judge has decided which days he sees his dad. And it is fixed. But you will do the birthday after or before.
That when he is a bit older he will get a chance to speak to the judge thru people who will ask his views.

Right now you have to just get thru it build resilience. And that he can talk to teachers. It would be better for your case if ds says to a teacher innocently something about time with dad that raises a flag...eg "daddy didnt' give me a birthday present he said I couldn't have one ever...." etc.