To consider three children sharing one room?

[TabbyTigger]

Our current home has 4 bedrooms.

DS is 18 and at University, lives there but comes home to stay overnight probably once a month, plus being home at holidays. He has the tiny box room and always has done.

The attic has two big rooms. Currently one is shared by DD1 (13, nearly 14) and DD2 (12), and the other by DD3 (5) and DD4 (2). The fourth bedroom is obviously ours.

DD5 is due in two weeks (eek!) and I can’t stop thinking about what we’ll do when she’s bigger. Currently, the most viable option seems to be to put her in with DD3 and 4, say when they’re 6, 3, and 1. But the room isn’t huge, so would have to be bunk bed and regular bed (currently it’s just bunk bed), and then have very little space for much other than dresser. WIBU to squeeze the three of them in together for two years, just until DS no longer needs his room? (Then DD3 can move in there, and we’ll be back to just 2 sharing each bigger room). Or should I just take a deep breath in and accept that a move is inevitable? I love this house and where it is so really don’t want to move. I’m probably just overthinking and worrying, I just cant stop wondering about how new baby is going to change our lives!!

It wasn’t the only post like that though!

Some of you lot have a huge chip on your shoulders. Op when baby is out the cot can you reshuffle and give the 3 younger kids the biggest room or do you have a dining room you could lose?

We live in a 3 bedroom house and have 2 teenagers (1 boy 1 girl). We now also have a toddler. Toddler shares a room with us and will do until we can afford a 4 bedroom house. I refuse to put her in with her sister. She needs privacy and space. It was us who decided to have another so it's us who will deal with the bedroom situation.
Just keep the baby in with you.

Well op I am envious! When we married dh had 3 dc and I had 2. We’d have loved a couple between us too but it didn’t happen. When we stared out my ds was in his own tiny room, the other two boys were given the biggest spare room, my dd had a small room with a bunk bed for dsd who opted to stay with her gran so she could continue at her Grammar School and come to us at weekends.
The first weekend we were all together dh and I went out one day and came back to...all 3 boys in tiny room with single and the bunk beds. Big spare room had sofa bed from downstairs plus various beanbags etc and had become dsd’s room at weekends and ‘the den’ the rest of the time. Dd kept her own room.
A blended family can and does work. Involve the older dc in how to arrange the rooms and invest in some interesting and versatile furniture.
Good Luck, it will be amazing, honestly and what lucky dc to have such a vibrant and loving family.

WTF?! Some days you're just noodling around Mumsnet with a cup of tea... and end up enRAGED!Completely horrified at the vitriolic and judgemental responses (and I say that as a parent of one) - clearly these posters have issues and massive chips on their shoulders. OP, I don't have any useful solutions to add but congratulations on your impending arrival! And please ignore the arseholes.

@newyearseveameme80 my bad I must have overlooked that bit 😂

Far too many snobby people on here. I’m all for people having opinions but sometime it’s hard to tell between down right ignorance and being opiniated.

Seriously
People on here are so horrid and judgemental.

Ridiculous responses, what nasty comments! I'm female and shared with my 2 younger brothers until I was 11 as we loved in a council flag and my parents had no other options! Wasn't ideal but did us no harm and we had a very happy childhood.

Do whatever feels right for you OP! You sound like a great mum putting a lot of thought into this decision.

5 girls, lucky you. I usually think my two are enough but often wonder what life would be like with more of them. My best friend at high school was the middle of 5 girls (in a 3 bed terrace) and they were and still are so so close now as adults.

So DS in the box room, as he is.
You guys stay where you are if it works.
Put the teen girls in the smaller of the two other rooms.
The three little 'uns in the bigger room once baby is out of your room.

That's how I would do it anyway, Sorry I haven't read all the replies.

what horrible judgemental responses!! The OP has a 4 bedroom house its not like they are on the streets for gods sake! Having two children share a room is pretty commonplace and doesnt do children any harm.

Congrats on your pregnancy OP

Could you not use the boxroom for your baby when your son isnt there and move the baby into either your room or 2 younger daughters room when he does come back to stay?

That would probably work for a few years until your son has his own place and doesnt need a dedicated room. Then you could decorate the box room for your toddler permanently.

"I usually think my two are enough but often wonder what life would be like with more of them."

Stressful

Joking apart, DD has had to put up with some really nasty bitchiness and bullying at secondary school. I couldn't imagine having to deal with that x 5, nor GCSEs/A levels/university applications x 5 either.

Hi there OP

I think there has been many suggestions (and unfair criticism) to your situation. I'm sure you'll find a solution x

If you don't want to move Tabbytigger could you build an extension onto the home your already in?

A bit of mess,noise and upheaval I know but it wouldn't be forever and could give you the extra bedrooms you need for your DC.

Wow some people are so judgey! I have four kids in a three bed house and gasp... they are all my husbands! How unbelievable is that? Not that splitting up and having more than one long term partner is a criminal offence.

My youngest shares with us, my eldest has his own room. My middle two of the same sex share. No one suffers any trauma, we work and can provide for four kids comfortably ( I was even working full time in corporate business for a global company with four until I got made redundant).

Op when it gets time to move you will know and it will outweigh wanting to stay. We have to move to a five bed in the next two years. I love my house but the kids need separate rooms more when my second kids hits teenage years.

Having more kids in my case has enabled us to think ahead and take some risks with property so the five bed became a reality. Risks that most others never dream of because they don’t need to plan ahead and spend spare cash on flash cars and holidays.

i had only 2 but really regret it now i didn't have my 1st until i was 30 but had a miscarriage after 2nd and them a termination i was very ill how i regret that now

Really shocked at the catty responses you have had OP!

Baby in with you for the foreseeable, but a chat is on the cards about the use/availability of the box room with uni son?

Enjoy your family OP, sounds lovely!

Message from MNHQ (surprised they haven't posted here actually) that polonius is a PBP and has been banned (as well as deleted)

I would put the baby in your room for 2 years and then move baby to your sons small room. By that time he should be ready to move out completely. If he visits the odd wknd he can bunk in with his brother?

Oops just saw it's all girls, no brother. He can sleep on the couch when he visits?

How about a triple bunk bed? Another large family mum here btw.

Once the baby moves out of your room, a 6, 3 and 1 yo could have a lot of fun together, but you also have the option of putting baby in your box room if she disturbs the others during college term times, or take her into yours if it's holidays and your oldest is home. All sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I'd avoid having a single bed squeezed in there as it's wasted space. You could also look at the triple bunk beds that you can get, eg from Flexa, or here's one from Amazon that looks very robust and has good reviews. You can do them in different configurations to make the most of available space. Your younger DDs might enjoy the 'promotion' to higher beds! The middle level is just like a cabin bed so fine for a 3yo. Otherwise, do the trundle bed option that others have mentioned, or something else portable. A friend's DD slept for years on a futon mattress that was just rolled up and tucked away in the day, then laid down at night.

Kids in large families get a different deal from those in smaller families, but not necessarily a worse one. The price they pay for the companionship, entertainment and non-stop practice at social skills is having less space, amongst other things. Well, having your own room with en-suite isn't a human right, and they will be OK. It's your time that's going to matter more to them, not your space. If you're happy in the house, stay there for a while and don't rush into any decisions while you still have a young baby because that's a whole other level of stress that you don't need.

I have a friend whose DC slept 4 to a room throughout their childhood - 2 sets of bunks in each room, and no room for anything else but that was OK because clothes storage, play areas etc were elsewhere. I remember a TV programme about large families in the UK where the family moved to a much bigger house because of a similar situation, but the kids all still wanted to share so they had empty bedrooms!

3 of mine frequently end up in the same room just because they seem to like it, even though they don't need to. I will often put them to bed in separate rooms and find in the morning that 13yo has decided to sleep on the floor under 7yo's cabin bed, or 7yo is on trundle underneath 15yo, or 15yo is on bunk underneath 7yo! My older teens stick to their own territories though .

You might get some useful input on large family threads rather than a general one.

Yeah but Polonius is only one of the posters who posted stupid things.
Are the others PBP too

Also if you have two separate reception rooms you can turn one into a bedroom / snug and use it as a second living room and hand it over to SS when he’s home. Convert a garage into a room if you have one attached? There’s so many cost effective options to extend or convert. That’s how we climbed the property ladder.

I think the judgy posts stopped long ago, the worst of them have been deleted. So I think the OP will have got over it now.

Just glanced through the posts here. Shocked at some of the replies!
Congrats on your pregnancy and you sound like a lovely mother.
I live in a 4/5 bedroom house and so far have 2 young dcs. Recently moved them into the same room as they wanted that. I come from a family of 6 and always shared a room growing up. At one stage there were 4 of us in one room. 2 in a double, 1 a single and the baby in a cot. It did ya no harm sharing although as I got older I wouldn't have minded my own room. But we are a very close family. Our parents provided love and support, heat, food and education. People are way too spoiled and entitled these days and it drives me nuts!
My husband his 4 siblings and parents lived in a mid terraced 3 bed house which was tiny. They all turned out well too and are very close.

Of course there will be the usual bickering about sharing etc but it's a good life lesson. When I first went to uni I had to share in rented accommodation. Naturally I would have preferred my own room but you know what I had to work for that and when I got a paid job when I finished uni I paid more in rent to have that and I went abroad for the first time at 21 and bought my first car at 24.

It's a really good life lesson to be taught to work for what you want. Having a loving secure family is way more important.

So in essence if you live your home and it's in an area you like I think you should stay put. Time passes quickly and before you know it it will be you and your dh in that house and it will seem very big all of a sudden. X

Op I've got ds1 and ds2 sharing. They've got a 7 year age gap. It was bloody hard work up till ds2 was about 3. He never slept until then.
They are now 14 and 7 and the only issue we have now is ds1 likes things tidy where as ds2 couldn't care less
Dd is 13 and up till she was 5 she shared with ds1. Hth.