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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider three children sharing one room?

364 replies

TabbyTigger · 03/02/2018 11:03

Our current home has 4 bedrooms.

DS is 18 and at University, lives there but comes home to stay overnight probably once a month, plus being home at holidays. He has the tiny box room and always has done.

The attic has two big rooms. Currently one is shared by DD1 (13, nearly 14) and DD2 (12), and the other by DD3 (5) and DD4 (2). The fourth bedroom is obviously ours.

DD5 is due in two weeks (eek!) and I can’t stop thinking about what we’ll do when she’s bigger. Currently, the most viable option seems to be to put her in with DD3 and 4, say when they’re 6, 3, and 1. But the room isn’t huge, so would have to be bunk bed and regular bed (currently it’s just bunk bed), and then have very little space for much other than dresser. WIBU to squeeze the three of them in together for two years, just until DS no longer needs his room? (Then DD3 can move in there, and we’ll be back to just 2 sharing each bigger room). Or should I just take a deep breath in and accept that a move is inevitable? I love this house and where it is so really don’t want to move. I’m probably just overthinking and worrying, I just cant stop wondering about how new baby is going to change our lives!!

OP posts:
mummyB1 · 04/02/2018 19:29

Squeeze for two years you’ll figure it out it’s what we do your not putting any harm to the other children and for the first months the baby will be with u An partner where there’s a will there’s a way good luck Flowers

pollymere · 04/02/2018 19:32

I don't see an issue with that. Maybe give the three the biggest bedroom, even if it means you need to move into the attic. You could also move one into the box room and put them in one of the shared rooms when your ds is home. If your pregnant now, that baby could stay in a cotbed in your room until aged two, by which point your ds will have nearly finished uni and maybe looking for his own place. I never went home after uni as I ended up renting my own flat near my new job.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 04/02/2018 19:36

Baby sleeps in with you till at least one (or until you can’t bear it anymore) then gets the box room. Student bunks in where there’s room. That’s what most people do isn’t it? I don’t know anyone who didn’t give up their room for siblings when they went off to uni!

Dojos · 04/02/2018 19:37

I would say give the newborn the 'box room' and make sure oldest DS has a comfy sofa or mattress in one of the other kids room when he is home. Im sure explained well he will understand. I think 2 kids per room is enough unless you're on holiday and it has a novelty factor! So sorry people are being rude to you!

Offyougo · 04/02/2018 19:38

I think it's fine ! I have for in a 3 (2.75 sorry!) Bedroom house and its honestly fine. They can share no problem and Olay downstairs/ in the garden

Offyougo · 04/02/2018 19:40

Four sorry not for

Turquoise123 · 04/02/2018 19:47

Hmmm not sure you need to worry about this just yet ?

See how things work out - and ask the older children for their thoughts.

Hope all goes well with the new baby .

wellymelly · 04/02/2018 19:49

My friends have a 2 bed house and had 2 grown up sons who shared the second bedroom. Then baby came along so they split 2nd bedroom so young child has own room and eldest went travelling. Now they have built a lovely summer house in garden which is fully insulated for eldest to live in. It gets a bit chilli in winter but works ok. Maybe worth considering for child at University for the summer hols.

LoniceraJaponica · 04/02/2018 19:49

Won't the oldest one at uni need somewhere quiet to study? If you kick him out of the box room where can he do this?

niklew · 04/02/2018 20:01

Poor OP- obviously you were looking for suggestions and help not judgements...
We have 3 children (2.4 and6) and live in a 4 bed so all have a bedroom each. However for the past 6 months the oldest two- both girls are desp to share to the point that every fri and sat we let them have a ‘sleep over’ in each others room. Am really considering a bunk bed and then have a guest room/ spare playroom back. My point being some like to share...
I was brought up in a room with myself, older sister and older step sister. There were 3 teenage girls in a not so big room for a few yrs and we managed. At least when they are older you don’t have toys.
Do you have space where the older ones can hang out with friends? Then the bedroom literally be for just sleeping.. any space you can covert like a garage etc for your older ds but also then for thn older girls to have? We did this for my step brother- garage attached to house obv and parents converted so he had his own room and space- us 3 girls shared.

VerbenaGirl · 04/02/2018 20:04

When I was growing up we were a family of 6 in a 3 bed one bathroom bungalow, plus short term fostering - so sometimes 7! My parents had the biggest room, my 3 brothers shared the medium room with bunk beds and a single, me and foster children shared bunk beds in box room. Storage was fairly minimal. It was fine. Yes, space is nice, but so is being part of a big family - it’s swings and roundabouts. Have you had a chat with the children to see what their thoughts are?

Trinity66 · 04/02/2018 20:08

Won't the oldest one at uni need somewhere quiet to study? If you kick him out of the box room where can he do this?

she said he's only home once a month though

specialsubject · 04/02/2018 20:08

For reasons beyond me I follow a Mormon family blog. Currently 7 in one room, eldest early teens, youngest under two. And that's just the boys...

Lovingit81 · 04/02/2018 20:42

I'd keep baby in with you for two years. Can't believe some of the harsh (knobhead) comments on here. Congrats on the large family, sounds amazing. Best of luck with the new addition.

athingthateveryoneneeds · 04/02/2018 20:43

Which blog, special? I have a soft spot for them. :)

greeningthedesert · 04/02/2018 20:53

My 3 love sharing - even though we could give them a room each, they choose to share and use another if the rooms as a lounge space with mattresses and cushions. We deliberately kept the toys in our open plan living space - kitchen/sitting room - so that we were together as they play even if I was gettting on with things in the kitchen. Now they’re approaching teens they still choose to share and do their homework at the kitchen table for thr reasons outlined above.

zzzzz · 04/02/2018 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BorahT · 04/02/2018 21:10

It sounds fine to me! When I was little we had 4 in one room for a short time. Smalls don’t really need that much space assuming they are allowed space to play in the rest of the house. Might be more of an issue when they are older and they need their own space but when DS no longer needs his room it sounds like you will have the problem solved 🙂

OutyMcOutface · 04/02/2018 21:13

Do you maybe have a garage you could convert? Or a separate living room that you could put a sofa bed in and surrender to DS when he comes to stay?

RainbowGlitterFairy · 04/02/2018 21:15

It'll be fine, just give the 3 that are sharing the biggest room you can.

I shared with my 2 sisters for years, up til i left for uni, oldest brother had the box room and other 3 brothers had the other room, even now 3 of us have moved out the 3 youngest brothers share, they've made the box room into a den with a sofa bed for if one of us comes to visit.

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 04/02/2018 21:15

You can get triple bunk beds that are pretty cool. Consider those.
Or give up your bigger room and have them sharing in there for a while.
Also - your son may well move away after uni or consider having his own place/house sharing

LinoleumBlownapart · 04/02/2018 21:16

Which blog, special? I have a soft spot for them. smile

Blogs or Mormons? Grin

persianpeach · 04/02/2018 21:19

Sharing a room with a sibling is usually great fun, good company and life enhancing. My best friend was in a two up two down with her younger brother and younger sister while her parents shared the other room and she always says those years were the best years of her life.
It’s natural, normal and a wonderful experience to share a room with siblings!!
God there are some snobby, opinionated, narrow minded idiom here!!!

AveEldon · 04/02/2018 21:23

We had bunk beds and a cot or a toddler bed in one room
Worked fine - all their clothes fitted in the storage in the room

Toys however were in the living room

We also have a trundle under the bunk for extra guests

Celticrose · 04/02/2018 21:29

My husband was brought up in a council house with 3 bedrooms. One for his DM and his DF. Another which a very small box room for his DS. He and his 3 brothers shared a room with 2 double beds. As they got married they had to share less and less. He was last to get married and had room all to himself. Maybe that is why he waited until 30 to get married and the others a lot sooner

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