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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this a bit creepy!

126 replies

Doctordid · 03/02/2018 09:16

I have a neighbour who shares our hallway. 'Bob' is 73.

I rarely see Bob due to work and him being with family so don't have a close relationship at all with him. Bob is fit and active, still works part time and has family who live locally so he's not making conversation because he is lonely or such.

When I do see Bob he regular makes comments about sex. Meh I'm not a fuddy duddy but...

Gems have been

'haven't you had a man since your ex, if you haven't it is unfair. We aren't all the same, If I was with you I would just want someone to cuddle in front of the TV with and have a fumble around on the bed but sex would be good too Shock)
If I was with you then I would want to keep our own flats and I wouldn't bother you it would be good if we could still have a fumble.
And various degrees about me and him having sex and how we would maintain the relationship ...

He also texts me to say I've heard you come in come round for a coffee etc as soon as I walk through the door.

Aibu to think you don't discuss scenarios of how you would have sex with your neighbour who had shown no signs of any interest!

The kids are teens and have overheard some of this and think it is hilarious and refer to him as my boyfriend little buggers Blush

OP posts:
KenDoddsDadsDogIsDead · 03/02/2018 09:20

If you barely know him how does he have your mobile number to text you?

Snowysky20009 · 03/02/2018 09:26

Creep, my neighbour is like this so I started to ignore him

AdiosPeaceOfRoast · 03/02/2018 09:26

If you barely know him how does he have your mobile number to text you?

Presumably because it’s useful for neighbours to be able to contact each other in an emergency about their properties. I don’t think giving somebody your mobile number means they have permission to sexually harass you.

He sounds horrible, OP.

FlibbertyGiblets · 03/02/2018 09:29

Block his number and say to him get lost creep if he tries it on in person.
KenDodd asked a good q, btw.

StealthPolarBear · 03/02/2018 09:30

This is very creepy. Next time he says something like this you need to ask him not to do it again and if he continues I'd then wonder if it could be classed as sexual harassment

SparkleFizz · 03/02/2018 09:32

This is extremely creepy.
It is not at all normal neighbour conversation.

Original poster
Doctordid · 03/02/2018 09:34

KenDodd his son asked me to exchange numbers years ago when neighbour had had an operation in case something happened at home.

OP posts:
ConciseandNice · 03/02/2018 09:38

If he is like this at 73, he was like that at 23 and 33 and so on. In his head he is still a young man and he hasn't changed. The upshot is he thinks you're attractive and (being the young fella he thinks he still is) can't see why you wouldn't want to sleep with him. Or - he is just a creepy asshole, who thinks this is ok behaviour (as he did when he was younger). Either case it is not on, but I've been in the same position and it wasn't til a proper conversation about it that I knew he just didn't realise that he was an old man and there was no attraction there. It was sad.

So sad or creepy. Either way speak up and ask him to stop.

highinthesky · 03/02/2018 09:40

Times have changed since the Carry On movies. Shut these conversations down fast.

ohfortuna · 03/02/2018 09:41

That's not just a bit creepy that's way way out of order
I have had inappropriate comments from a neighbour although not as bad as that I just glared at him and walked off
He needs a sharp response to shut him down

Piffle11 · 03/02/2018 09:41

Sounds like he's either getting off on talking to you like this or he's trying to gauge whether you're interested. You're going to have to either ignore him as much as possible or shut him down by telling him to stop. Very creepy indeed.

ohfortuna · 03/02/2018 09:42

How about wind your fucking neck in Grandad

Boxingdaydisappoints · 03/02/2018 09:44

It is entirely inappropriate. It won't be easy but you must ask him to stop or he'll see it as a green light to keep on and it could get worse. If this was happening in a workplace it would be sexual harassment so what is the difference.

DriggleDraggle · 03/02/2018 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohfortuna · 03/02/2018 09:45

This vile old man is trying to groom you
you really need to tell him where to go in no uncertain terms

Gide · 03/02/2018 09:45

Tell him this is sexual harassment he needs to stop as it’s extremely inappropriate. Block his number or tell him to stop texting if you think he’ll listen. Why have you allowed him to carry on with this bollocks? Shut him down the second he starts. Yuk.

WorraLiberty · 03/02/2018 09:47

What Gide said.

Just treat him like you would treat any other completely inappropriate pervy neighbour.

falsepriest · 03/02/2018 09:51

Nip it in the bud. Sad old man using you as wank fantasy.

ohfortuna · 03/02/2018 09:51

Make no mistake this old boy is jerking off whilst fantasizing about giving you one

probably whilst texting with the other hand to ask you to come round for coffee
The fact that you don't object to his sexy talk makes him think he's in with a Chance to make his fantasy come true

ohfortuna · 03/02/2018 09:52

Cross posted with @falsepriest😄

AnnaMagnani · 03/02/2018 09:55

Do you have his son's mobile number?

I'd text his son, tell him you are blocking his dad and why.

Original poster
Doctordid · 03/02/2018 09:56

Anna that's what I was thinking but didn't know of it was overkill

OP posts:
AngryAttackKittens · 03/02/2018 09:59

I had a landlord like this when I was young. Pervy old git, should have kneed him in the balls when I had the chance.

AngryAttackKittens · 03/02/2018 10:00

An "oh, bless, you actually think you have a chance" might be a less likely to get you in trouble for assaulting a pensioner approach though.

HoppingPavlova · 03/02/2018 10:01

When Bob next does this just look at him and say “Bob, you are asking me to have sex with you. Don’t be absolutely ridiculous. Did you see that they moved the recycling area on Monday (or whatever innocuous piece of tosh you can come up with)? Bye Bob.” Repeat this if Bob raises conversation pertaining to sex again in the future.