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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just want to bloody sleep without being woken up?!

61 replies

Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 02/02/2018 11:30

DP has a habit of waking me up if he wakes in the night. Doesn’t matter what time it is, if he’s awake, he’ll start telling me how much he loves me, how he’s looking forward to marrying me etc... all lovely things BUT I AM ASLEEP. He seems to expect a response too so I can’t even get away with ignoring him.

In isolation this would be fine (ish). But he also has a cold and is snoring like a bloody trooper!! As a result, last night he woke me up being all loving, promptly fell asleep and kept me awake for what felt like hours!

Three nights in a row I have been sleep deprived due to a combination of his affection, snoring and pregnancy related heartburn. WIBU to LTB? 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 02/02/2018 11:32

I have just realised that this really does not bode well for my ability to cope with an infant 😂

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 02/02/2018 11:32

If he's awake he wakes you up telling you he loves you? I wouldn't love him if he did this to me.. sleep is important!

Cath2907 · 02/02/2018 11:32

You'd not be unreasonable to smother him imo!

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 02/02/2018 11:33

What the fuck is wrong with him? Tell him to leave you the fuck alone. I can’t believe a grown man is waking up his pregnant wife because he wants company Shock

Stickaforkinimdone · 02/02/2018 11:33

If I have got this correct, your DP wakes up in the middle of the night and, despite you being fast asleep, he starts talking to you which in turn wakes you up??

Butterymuffin · 02/02/2018 11:33

Tell him very firmly that it's not nice, it's inconsiderate, and if it happens again you will be sleeping in separate rooms until he learns better habits. If he wakes up at night he has to entertain himself (!)

LemonShark · 02/02/2018 11:34

You need to sit down with him in the daytime and tell him what you've said here. You need your sleep, unbroken, and it's damaging to be woken up. It makes you tired and you can't get back to sleep and it's unfair/selfish. That from now on if he walks in the night you don't want him to wake you. Let him find something else to entertain himself!

If he keeps doing it after you unequivocally tell him to stop then you have big problems as he doesn't respect your wishes and needs and thinks his desire to chat at 3am is more important then your right to not be woken!

user1andonly · 02/02/2018 11:37

Ooh that is really not on! Presumably you've told him not to do this - if so and he keeps doing it, then he's really taking the piss.

It's completely different to a baby waking you because (s)he needs something.

sinceyouask · 02/02/2018 11:39

I would say "no one who loves me would wake me up when I was asleep without good reason. If you do this again I will consider leaving you. Shut the fuck up." Or something along those lines.

AnathemaPulsifer · 02/02/2018 11:40

Selfish git!! Tell him in no uncertain terms never to wake you. Unless he’s desperately ill.

Original poster
Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 02/02/2018 11:41

In his defence, he is lovely and rather perfect in every other way. Just weirdly needy at night!

Glad I’m not being a cold hearted bitch though. I think the ‘for fucks sake’ as I prodded him in the ribs last night probably drove the message home.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 02/02/2018 11:43

Nothing lovely about being woken up by a needy partner

DisabledUserName · 02/02/2018 11:45

Has your DP got any medical issues? I know with certainly mental health conditions, PTSD etc could be causing him to be insecure at night time?

DisabledUserName · 02/02/2018 11:46

*certain

GeorgeTheHamster · 02/02/2018 11:48

Just tell him to fuck off 😄

Thebluedog · 02/02/2018 11:50

LTB!! Seriously, I’d fucking kill my dp if he did this... Grin

inkandstone · 02/02/2018 11:53

God. How irritating. Does he actually realise he's doing it or is he still asleep?

Piffle11 · 02/02/2018 11:54

Does he realise he's doing it? Is he fully awake? My DH mutters on when he's half awake, but it's usually about the bins or bills!

Original poster
Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 02/02/2018 11:55

Disabled That might be worth looking at actually...

OP posts:
barefoofdoctor · 02/02/2018 11:55

Perhaps you could try boobing him back to sleep? Grin

Titsywoo · 02/02/2018 11:58

Are you sure you should marry him? He sounds so needy! And it's likely you'll end up doing a life sentence after you bludgeon him to death with your alarm clock one night.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 02/02/2018 11:58

Just tell him to fucking stop Hmm

puglife15 · 02/02/2018 12:00

I've been woken up multiple times every night for the past 2 years by my toddler.

I guarantee he'll stop waking you up once the baby is here... Because you'll kill him if he doesn't

FizzyGreenWater · 02/02/2018 12:03

'I'm pregnant. I need my sleep more than anything. If you loved me, you'd be looking after me and making sure that happened. If you wake me in the night, all that says to me is that you don't love me, you're not looking after me, and you put yourself first by prioritisting your need to talk to someone in the night over my (and the baby's) need for rest. So when you wake me, can you just say 'Hey I love myself more than Iove you!' instead? Call a spade a spade and all that'

:)

WTFIsThisVirus · 02/02/2018 12:06

Are you sure he's not sleep walking? It isn't always literally get up and walk, you could have a full blown conversation with someone sleeping lol