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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I have shared?

439 replies

werkwerkwerk · 01/02/2018 14:08

I've name changed for this as it is very outing!

Basically, I work in a small office with 2 other ladies doing the admin etc, for a local business. I have been there, full time, for just over 3 years, the 2nd works part time and has been there for almost 1 year and the 3rd is a new starter, still on probation.

We don't socialise outside of work and I wouldn't say we were particularly friendly.

For Christmas, the 3 of us were given a bottle of prosecco, a box of chocolates and a scratch card.

My scratch card was a winner! £25k winner.

I was over the moon! I've had a tough few years financially and this really couldn't have come at a better time. The money paid off a few bills and the rest will be used as a deposit on my very own little house (as soon as I find it!) I'm very excited!

After new year, I invited the 2 ladies I work with out for a champane afternoon tea in a swanky hotel and then we went for manicures and pedicures. All my treat.

This morning, I was taken into the office by the owner of the business and told that the other ladies have asked him to speak to me regarding the winnings, as they feel it should be shared 3 ways. And my boss agrees as he feels that my winning has caused a bad vibe in the office.

AIBU by not sharing? I'll be honest and say that the thought of sharing with them never even crossed my mind and I still have no intention of doing so, but I just wanted to get some other opinions...

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 01/02/2018 16:22

I wouldn’t share it but I wouldn’t have told them either . I also wouldn’t have taken them out as you said you are not really friends as that may have inspired them to feel that you felt you needed to share to some degree .

Original poster
werkwerkwerk · 01/02/2018 16:28

I've requested a meeting with my 2 colleagues and my boss tomorrow morning.

I want to clear the air at work but I'm not going to apologise for not sharing and i'm not giving them anything else.

I really don't want to leave, but if this makes for a bad working environment, I will find another job.

OP posts:
baublesnbubbles · 01/02/2018 16:29

I wouldn't have shared.
I wouldn't expect if 3 of us got a scratchie each that they would share with me either.
Can't believe the ridiculousness of that.
Plus the ungratefulness of the afternoon out.
I would think about changing job so you re not surrounded by toxic bitches like that anymore. Leave them to the catty jealousy, let them rot away with it.

LML83 · 01/02/2018 16:30

Bitter women! it was really generous of you to shout them afternoon tea etc. They should have been happy for you.

No way would I have shared. Boss should not give out scratch cards without conditions if there are actually expectations of what you should do afterwards.

00100001 · 01/02/2018 16:34

yy to not shairng.

where does the sharing stop? Should you split it four ways with the business owner as well?

Should the part timer get a pro-rataed share? Should it be based on length of service?

I wouldn't even have a meeting Confused I'd just serenely carry on. and if the business owner raises it again, just say the money has been spent clearing debt.

Fletchasaurus · 01/02/2018 16:34

Um no, you don't share! Actually I might have given them some each at the start but certainly not now after the way they have responded!

Solly76 · 01/02/2018 16:34

You each had a scratch card as a gift. Their scratch cards didn't win, yours did. The gift is yours. Fair and square. It was your scratch card, therefore your £25k. They are CF's for even suggesting you should share it. I can understand them feeling envious, but they should not feel they are entitled to any of it. Surprised the boss didn't tell them that.
Congratulations by the way

00100001 · 01/02/2018 16:34

Would you have had to given them 33p if you won £1?

Bellamuerte · 01/02/2018 16:38

Don't give the greedy cows a penny! They're just trying their luck to see if they can get some money out of you. You weren't in a syndicate and there was no agreement to share any winnings. Let them take you to court if they're so certain they deserve a share! If they're going to be spiteful and jealous I'd start looking for a new job. And in future don't tell anyone your private business!

Softkitty2 · 01/02/2018 16:38

Your only mistake was telling them.

Make a point of saying you each had a gift bag.. The chocolates and prosecco were not shared why should the scratch card be?

Find a new job and keep your money.

GabriellaMontez · 01/02/2018 16:41

Grabby bitches. Yanbu.

MimiSunshine · 01/02/2018 16:43

Don’t feel bad about picking up properly details. C£20k is only going to get you a deposit on a modest house, not a cash purchase on a 6 bed with basement pool and sauna. It’s hardly being overalls flash.

I would go into tomorrow’s meeting and say “I’m sorry that you feel the £400 I spent on an afternoon of champagne, afternoon tea and beauty treatments for all us which I thought was lovely and something we all enjoyed wasn’t good enough. I was very hurt to hear it described as just a sandwich and nail polish.
Boss has told me how you feel I should share the whole amount with you, I won’t be doing that as it was pure luck I won, I hope we can move passed this as I would never have behaved this way had you won but it’s up to you how you want to proceed”

Do not approach the meeting thinking you have to apologise for anything

Passmethecakeplease · 01/02/2018 16:46

I can't believe they want or exp3ct you to share. Of course you shouldn't have to!

WitchesHatRim · 01/02/2018 16:48

I was very hurt to hear it described as just a sandwich and nail polish.

Might want to check that was what was actually said first.

Starlighter · 01/02/2018 16:49

Unbelievably grabby! I think you did a really nice thing taking them out for a lovely afternoon tea. How ungrateful of them!

It’s really odd and entitled behaviour... I don’t get it at all. Say it’s spent. Unless the boss has specifically said the winnings had to be split 3 ways (which is bonkers!) then it’s a moot point.

Notevilstepmother · 01/02/2018 16:49

Is this a unanimous YANBU? Grin

CF the pair of them, and rude too. A bit of nail varnish and a sandwich. Hmm

notapizzaeater · 01/02/2018 16:53

They are taking the piss, unless you all agreed it at the beginning (which you didn't) they don't have a share. And after the sandwiches and varnish comment they could wave goodbye to anything else.

Thebluedog · 01/02/2018 16:54

un fucking believable that the CF’s would approach your boss and that’s he would actually ask you to share!

I’d be looking for a new job (and maybe turn up in a brand new, very expensive, luxury car, even if you hired it? on the last day just to piss them off) Grin

Puzzledandpissedoff · 01/02/2018 16:56

I've requested a meeting with my 2 colleagues and my boss tomorrow morning

Unless you've mentioned anything to the contrary, they probably think you'll be bringing your chequebook along Hmm And if they sit with their bottom lips out, I'd also worry that the idiot boss might suggest "couldn't you just ... ?"

You really do need to shut this down once and for all, or it could well be one snippy comment after another

Softkitty2 · 01/02/2018 16:56

Yes agree with pp do not go into that meeting apologising for anything.

barefoofdoctor · 01/02/2018 16:57

Not a chance I would share but then I wouldn't have told them of the win. That was just asking for trouble.

Namechangetempissue · 01/02/2018 16:57

You are in no way at all obliged to share your Christmas gift. No way on earth they can make you either. Very honestly, I would hand in my notice along with the almighty fuck off they would get at the meeting. I wouldn't want to work with such arseholes.

Namechangetempissue · 01/02/2018 16:58

I would also say it was even necessarily the scratch card from work as you had a few. Prove otherwise. Your word against theirs.

Ellie56 · 01/02/2018 17:00

I'd also worry that the idiot boss might suggest "couldn't you just ... ?"

Think you need to say all the money has been spent/ shared with your family so the boss can't say, "Couldn't you just...?"

grannytomine · 01/02/2018 17:01

Have to say, I would have kept completely & utterly silent and wouldn't have let on that I won, as someone was bound to be jealous. I agree with this, sad but true.