Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Should I have shared?

439 replies

werkwerkwerk · 01/02/2018 14:08

I've name changed for this as it is very outing!

Basically, I work in a small office with 2 other ladies doing the admin etc, for a local business. I have been there, full time, for just over 3 years, the 2nd works part time and has been there for almost 1 year and the 3rd is a new starter, still on probation.

We don't socialise outside of work and I wouldn't say we were particularly friendly.

For Christmas, the 3 of us were given a bottle of prosecco, a box of chocolates and a scratch card.

My scratch card was a winner! £25k winner.

I was over the moon! I've had a tough few years financially and this really couldn't have come at a better time. The money paid off a few bills and the rest will be used as a deposit on my very own little house (as soon as I find it!) I'm very excited!

After new year, I invited the 2 ladies I work with out for a champane afternoon tea in a swanky hotel and then we went for manicures and pedicures. All my treat.

This morning, I was taken into the office by the owner of the business and told that the other ladies have asked him to speak to me regarding the winnings, as they feel it should be shared 3 ways. And my boss agrees as he feels that my winning has caused a bad vibe in the office.

AIBU by not sharing? I'll be honest and say that the thought of sharing with them never even crossed my mind and I still have no intention of doing so, but I just wanted to get some other opinions...

OP posts:
TempusEejit · 01/02/2018 15:48

No you had no obligation to share. But I think you were massively insensitive to tell them about it/come back with property details in front of them.

Doctordid · 01/02/2018 15:50

Of course you don't share!
You were each given one each. Yours won and therefore you won. There was no contract that you would share.
Say it's spent!
Are you sure it isn't your boss who wants a share.

caoraich · 01/02/2018 15:51

I wouldn't have said anything but obviously it's too late for that now. Totally agree that it was a gift, the luck of the draw and not for you to share.

How about making the point that you buy scratch cards regularly (regardless of if you do!), scratched off a bunch including the gift and so actually there's no way to know which specific one won it? They can't expect you to share anything you win surely?

Also have an open discussion about it like greenlanes says

chorusline79 · 01/02/2018 15:52

Yanbu you were generous to treat them

As others have said, they're jealous as they didn't win but if you were given a scratch card each then it was yours.

Would you have expected either of them to share? I doubt it.

Congratulations and enjoy your winnings and sod em!

sparklepops123 · 01/02/2018 15:53

Hell no ! Do you think they would of shared with you? I bet not! Go and enjoy it

OhCalamity · 01/02/2018 15:55

You all opened the gifts at home. How do you know that one of them didn't win £100k on her card and is keeping it quiet?

Gottagetmoving · 01/02/2018 15:58

It was YOUR scratch card. There is nothing else you have to explain to anyone.
You shouldn't have told them anyway because as they have proved, they are jealous idiots.
Your boss is out of order.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 01/02/2018 16:00

My treat was described by one of them as a 'sandwich and a bit of nail varnish

They really are deeply unpleasant, aren't they - as is the boss for getting involved in this at all instead of simply telling them to get over it

The only thing wrong with taking in property details is that it will be hard now to claim you've already spent it; in fact they probably don't even believe the £25k and will think it's actually far more

The "nice to your face" will no doubt change as soon as they learn they'll get nothing more, but anyway I wouldn't rise to it; if necessary just give a cheery "well, that's the luck of the drawer ... " and refuse to engage further

BexConnor · 01/02/2018 16:02

No way. You all had an equal chance to win.
If your boss wants the money to be shared he should have bought one (or three) cards between the three of you, not one each.

I wouldn't have mentioned the win if it was me though. Money is the worst for creating bad vibes between people.

eggsandwich · 01/02/2018 16:03

But you did share your good fortune with them by taken them out for a champagne afternoon tea and a manicure and pedicure which by the way you were under no obligation to do but you did as your a nice person.

They got a scratchcard each as well, yours was a winner theirs weren’t, as a kind gesture you treated them and quite frankly I’m appalled that they obviously weren’t greatful and are money grabbing bitches.

I would say how hurt you are by their attitude, and in future don’t tell them if you win again.

ConciseandNice · 01/02/2018 16:04

What amazing Cheeky Fuckery. Tell ‘em all to jog on. They have no rights either legally or morally. Enjoy your money (and get a new job).

WindowWiper · 01/02/2018 16:04

If your boss thinks it's caused a bad vibe he should show the 2 greedy
CFs the door. They're the cause of any bad feeling not you.

Enjoy your win, OP. Flowers

EggysMom · 01/02/2018 16:07

For all you know, they might have won on their scratchcards too - but they aren't telling anybody so as to avoid sharing.

If you were my colleague, I'd be mightily pissed off with the world that you won and I didn't. I wouldn't be pissed off with you, fair game to you for having the winning card. I certainly wouldn't expect a share.

CupcakeWithIcing · 01/02/2018 16:08

Your OP isn't very clear but

If the chocolate, alcohol and scratch card was between the three of you then yes of course you should share as it was a joint gift.

If you each got chocolate, alcohol and a scratch card and only you won then that's just tough it's your money.

I'm sure that if they had got the winning scratch card they would spend it on themselves too.

Although I will admit I would have treated them to something (if we were close friends in and out of work) - however you see them only as colleagues so in that situation I wouldn't have given them anything either.

They are being bratty and childish OP. But it would be worth looking for another job if you feel that this will cause stress for you in the long term.

DownTownAbbey · 01/02/2018 16:09

Your boss had made this worse by legitimising their unreasonable demand. What an arse!

I'd seriously consider getting a different job.

Trinity66 · 01/02/2018 16:09

CupcakeWithIcing

she already clarified that, they each got a gift bag with chocolates, Prosecco & a scratch card in

NoqontroI · 01/02/2018 16:10

Maybe your boss should give him what he thinks they should have out of his own money, not yours. After all he caused the issue in the first place.

Trinity66 · 01/02/2018 16:10

Although I will admit I would have treated them to something

she did, she brought them for afternoon tea and mani/pedi s

Butterymuffin · 01/02/2018 16:11

Your boss is totally in the wrong here. If they came moaning to him (and some envy is understandable, to an extent) he should have firmly shut down any ideas about sharing and told them to be happy for you. Sadly I think moving jobs will be your best long term option. But it's totally, rightfully yours. Oh and get this thread pulled before the Fail run the story.

Ohyesiam · 01/02/2018 16:14

You already have shared with them, generously. Lots of people would not have bothered to do that.
It's your money, they are cheeky fuckers.

I'd be looking for a new job .

MavisPike · 01/02/2018 16:14

cupcake the OP has said they EACH got a scratch card , a bottle and some chocolate in a bag . She has also treated them to a day out

Do not share OP

I am trying to think of a reason as to why they think they deserve your money , how odd

ilovewelshrarebit123 · 01/02/2018 16:18

Please please tell me you're not going to give in and share.

They are the epitome of CF's and you've won that money fair and square!

I wouldn't discuss it at all again with anyone, including your boss. If it's mentioned again, just say sorry it's spent.

They have no legal claim so will never know either way.

EdmundCleverClogs · 01/02/2018 16:19

Your boss behaved very unprofessionally, I’d be looking for another job under these circumstances.

Which scratchy was it by the way? Never have luck with them myself!

troodiedoo · 01/02/2018 16:20

Congrats on your win. Nothing for you, grabby co workers.Ha!

quilpie · 01/02/2018 16:21

Bloody hell, your boss is ignorant. Was he after a share himself?

I think your win may have just bought you a new job.