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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I have shared?

439 replies

werkwerkwerk · 01/02/2018 14:08

I've name changed for this as it is very outing!

Basically, I work in a small office with 2 other ladies doing the admin etc, for a local business. I have been there, full time, for just over 3 years, the 2nd works part time and has been there for almost 1 year and the 3rd is a new starter, still on probation.

We don't socialise outside of work and I wouldn't say we were particularly friendly.

For Christmas, the 3 of us were given a bottle of prosecco, a box of chocolates and a scratch card.

My scratch card was a winner! £25k winner.

I was over the moon! I've had a tough few years financially and this really couldn't have come at a better time. The money paid off a few bills and the rest will be used as a deposit on my very own little house (as soon as I find it!) I'm very excited!

After new year, I invited the 2 ladies I work with out for a champane afternoon tea in a swanky hotel and then we went for manicures and pedicures. All my treat.

This morning, I was taken into the office by the owner of the business and told that the other ladies have asked him to speak to me regarding the winnings, as they feel it should be shared 3 ways. And my boss agrees as he feels that my winning has caused a bad vibe in the office.

AIBU by not sharing? I'll be honest and say that the thought of sharing with them never even crossed my mind and I still have no intention of doing so, but I just wanted to get some other opinions...

OP posts:
clownfaces · 01/02/2018 15:26

Congratulations on your win Wine

I wouldn't be sharing with them. It was nice of you to take them out for an afternoon.

Lweji · 01/02/2018 15:27

I suspect it came up in conversation as whinging and the stupid boss decided to tell the OP. Why would he mention "sandwich and nail varnish"?

More like shit stirring, IMO. Beware of the boss, more than of your colleagues.

mydietstartsmonday · 01/02/2018 15:28

A big fat NO!

SilverySurfer · 01/02/2018 15:28

Firstly, congratulations - what s wonderful surprise.

I think you were a bit daft telling them to be honest but that's done. Just tell them that it has been spent. I would add as they were so ungrateful after you had spent £400 on treating them, even if you hadn't spent it all, the blew it with their comments.

Let them sulk and keep doing the job if you enjoy it.

A second thought - how does anyone know if they won anything or not - judging by their reaction they would likely keep it a secret.

Flomy · 01/02/2018 15:29

Like hell would they have shared it with you, ignore them.

nailyourcolours · 01/02/2018 15:29

The80sweregreat Can you see the line at the bottom of the thread that says "This is page 6 of 6"? By that you can see an option "Show all messages" then you can scroll down and see where the OP has commented.

MeYouYouMe · 01/02/2018 15:29

OP, this is the type of thread that screams Daily Mail. If you care about that then you should get the thread pulled.

I don't know why you would think you should share for one nanosecond. Were you genuinely unsure?

blueskyinmarch · 01/02/2018 15:29

You did share our good fortune with them - you took them out for a lovely afternoon. They are probably a bit jealous but they are in no way entitled to any of your winnings.

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 01/02/2018 15:29

Congratulations on your win.
No way should you share! How rude of them to expect you to. Just sour grapes on their part.

WitchesHatRim · 01/02/2018 15:31

I probably haven't helped the situation by coming back from lunch breaks with property details and etc!

Well no. That's called rubbing people's faces in it.

Lovemusic33 · 01/02/2018 15:34

Congratulations on your win and no way would I be sharing it, it was your scratch card, just pure luck but your luck. I think you have done more than enough for them already. Enjoy the money and tell your boss it’s been spent. Next time you win something maybe don’t tell anyone Wink

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/02/2018 15:34

You were given the scratch caRd as gift and lady luck shone upon you. You're not obliged to share it with anyone.
Your boss had a damn cheek questing who you hadn't shared it with.

ObscuredbyFog · 01/02/2018 15:36

You had a scratchcard each.
One scratchcard won.
If it had been one of them who had won, would they have offered to give the other two a third of the prize each?

Keep it to yourself, you won it fair and square, that's what scratchcards are about, random luck of the draw.

Your boss is totally out of line for suggesting you should share it and you are very lovely to have spent £400 on your ungrateful colleagues.

What nasty, greedy, grasping spiteful, envious, people your colleagues are.

You've learned a life lesson here the hard way. If you receive any other windfalls - and I hope you do - keep it to yourself, don't tell anyone because you've seen what happens to people who lack generosity of spirit when they hear about someone else's good fortune.

Have a heartfelt Congratulations from me and I wish you every happiness in your new home that your windfall has helped you to buy. Flowers

Ginkypig · 01/02/2018 15:36

They all got a scratch card, yours won theirs didn't.

I'd bet a 400 quid afternoon that they wouldn't have shared or treated you!

The only mistake you made was naively thinking they would be happy for you. You should have just kept quiet.

MissDuke · 01/02/2018 15:37

Enjoy op! I definitely wouldn't share it with colleagues, just family. Different if you were close friends. If they wanted it to be a syndicate then it should have been discussed in advance!

MadMags · 01/02/2018 15:38

I probably haven't helped the situation by coming back from lunch breaks with property details and etc!

You were sharing exciting news with people you thought were friends.

I’d have been happy for you. The fault is theirs, not yours.

chickenowner · 01/02/2018 15:38

Definitely don't share.

And how unbelievably rude to have described your afternoon tea treat in such a way! I think that they have shown their true colours here, and they are not very nice people.

PinkBlueYellow · 01/02/2018 15:40

No, you should definitely not share a penny.

If I were them, I would be envious and absolutely gutted that I'd missed out. But, I would NEVER expect it to be shared. My pride would not allow it!

Maybe you r ruffled a few feathers by parading property details in front of them. You definitely shouldn't have said anything. I'd have thought you were showing off and it would have pissed me off, but I would have quietly seethed!

I think you should be humble about it, say you're sorry for saying anything and that you should have kept the good news to yourself. However, you have now been put in an extremely uncomfortable position and not one that would have been reciprocated if they had won the money. If there is now a bad vibe in the office it is purely down their jealously and they need to find a way to move past it because you have done nothing wrong.

MeltingSnowflakes · 01/02/2018 15:41

What if you'd won a quid? Should you have given them 33p each? You were lovely enough to take them out. Tell them to jog on.

MeAndMyDog · 01/02/2018 15:41

I don't think that you have to share, but I suspect that you are best off looking for a new job.

ruleshelpcontrolthefun · 01/02/2018 15:42

That's insane! No, I wouldn't have shared. It was your gift. You got lucky. You have been really kind to treat them already.

senzaparole03 · 01/02/2018 15:43

TBH, it's a shame you told them at all, but no, certainly no obligation to share anything! Your gift, your prize!

Good on you. Enjoy your luck!

thornyhousewife · 01/02/2018 15:43

Ask your boss if he'd have shared his winning scratchcard with his peers?

lalaloopyhead · 01/02/2018 15:45

It should only be shared if an agreement was made between the 3 of you before 'scratching' the cards - otherwise totally wrong for them to expect part of your winning and you have already been very generous taking them out for a treat.

If you boss expected you to share he should have also stipulated that at the time the gift was given, and probably more sensibly given you a selection of scratch cards between you.

MyToeHurtsBetty · 01/02/2018 15:48

I think You've been incredibly generous taking them out! I disagree though that you should have kept it quiet? Why not share your good news. Most folk would be a bit envious but still wholly pleased for you in a "Well done you wish it had been me" type of thing... I certainly wouldnt expect you to share or treat me to anything! Fuck em. Wank badgers