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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Should I have shared?

439 replies

werkwerkwerk · 01/02/2018 14:08

I've name changed for this as it is very outing!

Basically, I work in a small office with 2 other ladies doing the admin etc, for a local business. I have been there, full time, for just over 3 years, the 2nd works part time and has been there for almost 1 year and the 3rd is a new starter, still on probation.

We don't socialise outside of work and I wouldn't say we were particularly friendly.

For Christmas, the 3 of us were given a bottle of prosecco, a box of chocolates and a scratch card.

My scratch card was a winner! £25k winner.

I was over the moon! I've had a tough few years financially and this really couldn't have come at a better time. The money paid off a few bills and the rest will be used as a deposit on my very own little house (as soon as I find it!) I'm very excited!

After new year, I invited the 2 ladies I work with out for a champane afternoon tea in a swanky hotel and then we went for manicures and pedicures. All my treat.

This morning, I was taken into the office by the owner of the business and told that the other ladies have asked him to speak to me regarding the winnings, as they feel it should be shared 3 ways. And my boss agrees as he feels that my winning has caused a bad vibe in the office.

AIBU by not sharing? I'll be honest and say that the thought of sharing with them never even crossed my mind and I still have no intention of doing so, but I just wanted to get some other opinions...

OP posts:
Original poster
werkwerkwerk · 02/02/2018 08:32

PP are right, I didn't win £25k it was quite a bit more.

I changed the amount as I didn't want people to find out exactly how much I had one, as this is very outing, but wanted opinions on sharing a substantial win iyswim.

OP posts:
Original poster
werkwerkwerk · 02/02/2018 08:33

Won not one!

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 02/02/2018 08:33

It's still troll hunting 2birds. That's the thing.

greendale17 · 02/02/2018 08:34

Why on earth would you tell people at your work? You aren’t even that friendly with them. All it has caused is resentment.

greendale17 · 02/02/2018 08:36

Also why would you take 2 people you admitted you are not that friendly with for a champagne afternoon tea and manicure and pedicure? Sounds like you are rubbing it in their face

Original poster
werkwerkwerk · 02/02/2018 08:40

In hindsight, I shouldn't have said anything! I know that now.

We're not that friendly and have no contact outside of work but I thought it would be a nice thing to do. We had been chatting in the office about things we would love to do but never have the spare time/money to do. Champagne afternoon tea and the day spa were things mentioned.

I had no intentions of rubbing anything in anyone's faces, I was doing what I thought was a nice thing. My mistake, obviously!

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 02/02/2018 08:45

2birds1chick I’m afraid what you’re doing in troll hunting. If you suspect a thread you just report but don’t post accusations on the thread, no matter how sure or not you are. It’s just the rules.

Even if it weren’t true, is it that offensive? How do you think it’s affecting posters in their day to day lives? Report and move on is all you need to do.

UnicornRainbowColours · 02/02/2018 08:46

I understand why you told people. It’s one of those things where you get super excited and tell people and then remember later oops perhaps I shouldn't of said anything.

EdmundCleverClogs · 02/02/2018 08:48

2birds1chick anything even somewhat resembling troll hunting (like genuine questions on obvious made up parts of this story) will get deleted. Troll hunting is one of the worst MN crimes.

MNHQ have obviously decided that this is not worth deleting though. I find it difficult to believe after such a silly made up part of the tale, especially since they’re flip-flopping on if they care how identifiable it is. However, it’s another super entertaining ‘cheeky fucker’ story for the masses, so those who don’t enjoy these stories should probably just keep away. The CF thing isn’t going away anytime soon!

why12345 · 02/02/2018 09:11

I don't think you had much choice other than to tell them. It sounds like life changing money. So you would of had to come up with a lie as to why your suddenly able to buy a house etc.
Don't give them a single penny. It was your present and you won. Hope you enjoy your winnings.

babyboyHarrison · 02/02/2018 09:19

Someone has probably already said this. But, if your boss mentions it again ask and mentions anything about I’ll will ask him/her what they intend to do about it. It was their idea to give the gift and why would they give you a scratch card if they actually didn’t want you to win anything. Be polite about it but turn it back on them, they should have considered this when giving the gift.

februarybluemoon · 02/02/2018 09:19

werk, glad your not a troll - winning more than you said you did in the OP doesnt make any difference, its still your winnings. its just a real shame you didnt stay quiet from the get go - buying a home is a big deal these days - you could have made up something if anyone had asked you where the money came from when you moved - i doubt your colleagues would have thought 'oh it was the scratch card from december'.
nobody asked me how we had the deposit for our first home ( not that it was winnings but nobody was that interested!) still, i hope it isnt making your life a misery at work and they dont read MN. good luck with your winnings.

MNHQ
SophieLMumsnet · 02/02/2018 09:29

Hi 2birds1chick, we've removed several of your posts because you were trollhunting - and we don't allow it on the boards. It's perfectly fine to have doubts about an OP, of course, but we just ask that you report to us rather than airing them on the threads. In our experience, it can upset what might be a genuine OP, and it puts people off posting altogether, which is a real shame.

We're very happy to chat further if you'd like - just drop us a line at [email protected] or hit the report button.

Loyaultemelie · 02/02/2018 09:29

Good luck with your meeting today op!

februarybluemoon · 02/02/2018 09:38

let us know how it goes. lets hope it is resolved soon.

buckbeak · 02/02/2018 09:48

I've just rtft, I can't believe they feel they should get some of your winningsShockand complaining to your boss about it!! Cheeky fuckers Shock

PinkBlueYellow · 02/02/2018 09:56

Why would changing the amount won suddenly make the OP unidentifiable?

Surely the rest of the story is a bit of a giveaway, whether she won 25k or a million!

I would tell them that it wasn't a syndicate, it was a personal gift, therefore there should be no expectation of an equal split.

I would then start looking for another job. It will be an awful atmosphere from now on and you won't even have the support of your boss. Fuck them all.

greendale17 · 02/02/2018 09:58

OP- you sound like you meant well. Hope it works out for you

feral · 02/02/2018 10:01

Congratulations to you OP!
If I was a colleague I'd be slightly gutted I didn't win but I wouldn't be expecting a share. You were more than generous taking them out.
Greedy bastards!

MsJolly · 02/02/2018 10:52

Good luck for today!

februarybluemoon · 02/02/2018 11:14

We're only human, of course there would be a bit of a green eyed monster - someone at work has had a huge amount of money left them last year and has mortgage paid off and bought a big car etc, for a moment i thought lucky thing ( wished i could pay more towards the mortgage) but its life and you have to carry on- is what it is and all that. the only ones i dislike are the 'boaster' sort, not everyone has good luck or fortune . you meant well with the day out although maybe that hasn't helped ( in hindsight again) but at least you did something for them !

honeyroar · 02/02/2018 11:20

Of course it was not a shared ticket or money! Your boss should have stopped all this right when it was mentioned. Of course it was an individual present- if it wasn't he should have said that when he gave them out. He's an idiot for not telling the ladies that. The pair of them should be ashamed of themselves. If they were bitching behind your back they shouldn't have accepted your trip out for "a sandwich and a bit of nail varnish".

I'd have shared my happiness with people too. If one of my colleagues had done that and brought in house details I'd perhaps have been a bit jealous but only in a "you lucky bugger" kind of way, and I'd be pleased for them.

Gemini69 · 02/02/2018 11:32

this is fantastic.. Congratulations on striking it lucky... and glad to see the Moderators finally cleaning up ...

Good Luck today Lady .. just say NO Flowers

Twooter · 02/02/2018 11:38

Ffs, you did nothing wrong. It was nice for you to treat them. Yes, they’re jealous, but then loads of other people probably are jealous about itas well. Your boss was stupid to give a present that had the potential for this to happen.

ScrumpyBetty · 02/02/2018 11:40

Let us know how your meeting goes werk