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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I have shared?

439 replies

werkwerkwerk · 01/02/2018 14:08

I've name changed for this as it is very outing!

Basically, I work in a small office with 2 other ladies doing the admin etc, for a local business. I have been there, full time, for just over 3 years, the 2nd works part time and has been there for almost 1 year and the 3rd is a new starter, still on probation.

We don't socialise outside of work and I wouldn't say we were particularly friendly.

For Christmas, the 3 of us were given a bottle of prosecco, a box of chocolates and a scratch card.

My scratch card was a winner! £25k winner.

I was over the moon! I've had a tough few years financially and this really couldn't have come at a better time. The money paid off a few bills and the rest will be used as a deposit on my very own little house (as soon as I find it!) I'm very excited!

After new year, I invited the 2 ladies I work with out for a champane afternoon tea in a swanky hotel and then we went for manicures and pedicures. All my treat.

This morning, I was taken into the office by the owner of the business and told that the other ladies have asked him to speak to me regarding the winnings, as they feel it should be shared 3 ways. And my boss agrees as he feels that my winning has caused a bad vibe in the office.

AIBU by not sharing? I'll be honest and say that the thought of sharing with them never even crossed my mind and I still have no intention of doing so, but I just wanted to get some other opinions...

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 01/02/2018 17:49

It cracks me up that a newcomer is saying you should've given her over £8K!

Did they share their chocolates and wine with you? Did they offer you anything? Thought not.

Truthstar · 01/02/2018 17:52

Keep your winnings and enjoy. Your boss should be taking issue wuth them NOT you

ferrier · 01/02/2018 17:53

What bit of lottery don't they understand?

TacoFlavouredKisses · 01/02/2018 18:29

People like your colleagues are why I won't ever go public when (not if Grin) I win the lottery. Money makes usually normal folks go loco.

I can understand why they would be gutted when you told them but they should have accepted Your treat graciously (and not bitched about it afterwards) and moved on. Your boss should be telling them to wind their necks in, not encouraging a hand over! You need to say the money has been spent, end of story. No apologies - it was your gift!

The gall of some folk, honestly.

ItsNachoCheese · 01/02/2018 18:31

The scratchcard was a gift to you as were the scratchcards each lady recieved. Would they of split it 3 ways if they had won? Im inclined to believe they wouldnt

blackteasplease · 01/02/2018 18:32

No way do you have to share! the term cheeky fuckers is overused on here but they are cheeky fuckers!

Branleuse · 01/02/2018 18:32

id have given them a grand each

MyBrilliantDisguise · 01/02/2018 18:34

Why would you do that, Branleuse? They're not even friends! One has only just started there.

Jigglytuff · 01/02/2018 18:34

@Branleuse - if you’d won £25, would you have given them a quid?

Sprinklestar · 01/02/2018 18:39

Cheeky chancers!

Ohforfoxsakereturns · 01/02/2018 18:42

Crazy situation.

Just don’t feel that you should leave on account of your colleagues bitterness.

augustbabyx · 01/02/2018 18:42

Wtf! Your scratch card was your scratch card. Not theirs! Stand your ground, the money is yours and no one else's. X

GloGirl · 01/02/2018 18:43

Buy your house and then move or you'll be struggling to get a mortgage if you are on a probationary period.

They will say "if we won we'd have shared it!"

To which you respond "Thank you, but unfortunately I am unable to be so generous to the tune of thousands of pounds. It's my money and I shared what I feel is appropriate. I enjoyed my day out with you and value our working relationship but I cannot afford to give you anything further and I'm disappointed it would be asked of me."

Make it subtly clear repeatedly that it's yours and what you do with it is a choice for you to make. There is no moral obligation.

Branleuse · 01/02/2018 18:45

@jigglytuff no I wouldnt bother for that amount, but with a 25k win and it could have easily been any of the three of us, then Id definitely have given something. If not 1k then £500. I just would. I think that would kind of be the done thing. Obviously youre not obliged to, but I am not surprised it caused a bit of bad feeling.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 01/02/2018 18:47

Branleuse It’s really not the “done thing” to give £1k or even hundreds to people you’re not close with, especially one you’ve only really just met.

Branleuse · 01/02/2018 18:47

id have done it because we were all given it at the same time and its a substantial win. If id have bought my own ticket, then I wouldnt.

Anyway, its not about me. I dont think OP is a bad person for not doing it or anything, but I imagine a lot of people would do the same.

user1471443504 · 01/02/2018 18:50

I wouldn't give them a penny and to be honest they've gone straight in believing a third is their right so there is no way they would have been satisfied with £500 or even £1000!

goldenlilliesdaffodillies · 01/02/2018 18:51

It sounds like pure jealousy. Money and jealousy makes people behave strangely.

Is the boss expecting you to give them some money after all this time? if so that is completely unreasonable. You won fare and square. You did a lovely thing treating them and they are ungrateful and greedy.

Tell them you have donated the rest of your winnings to a poorly children's charity or local cats home!

FiveLittlePigs · 01/02/2018 18:52

I'd be tempted to go in with a sarnie and nail varnish each in a gift bag and say "boss said you feel it's right that you share my good fortune. Here you go" and walk out of the meeting. You owe them nothing.

GentleJones · 01/02/2018 18:54

I can’t believe the cheek of these CFers!

You won fare and square! You had a present each not between you.

You were extremely generous treating them, you didn’t have to!

Good luck for tomorrow OP! Stand firm!

fuzzywuzzy · 01/02/2018 18:54

I wouldn’t have thought a out sharing either.

It’s your Christmas present, they had exactly the same Christmas presents yours turned out to have a winning ticket.

Nobody is expected to share the presents they get at work, they’re for the individual.

The two women are taking the piss as is the manager, a month after Christmas and you’re meant to share your Christmas present, really?

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 01/02/2018 18:57

There is no possible way their request could be reasonable. Not in a million years. DO NOT GIVE IN! Sounds like they're confusing 'want it' with 'deserve it'.

stickytoffeevodka · 01/02/2018 19:00

I wouldn't have shared either.

But you probably shouldn't have told them, or taken them out with your winnings as your "treat". I think it perhaps came across a bit like you're rubbing it in.

AhNowTed · 01/02/2018 19:01

Would they have shared... probably not.

NewSingleMummy · 01/02/2018 19:01

Congratulations on your win OP!

I wouldn't have shared either and neither would they!