To just feel utterly screwed as a single parent.

[Quiddichcup]

I've just got a new job. Pulled off a career move than should have taken 4 to 5 years to achieve. I'm going into a stressful, full on job, and I'll be on 19.5k
This seems like a big jump, but having just crunched my numbers I'll still only have a few hundred left a month after everything is paid.

If I just my balls and manage to get to the next pay band, I'll have a few thousand a year more in wages but nothing in real terms as I'll lose the final tiny amount of tax credits help I get.

I'm on a better wage than lots of women I know but with a far worse standard of living.

There still won't be much left to save either so things like emergencies/ holidays/ any out of the ordinary expense is still going to be catastrophic.

I was looking at holidays for dd and I but have given it up as it's too expensive. I've got some money coming to me from ppi but even 1000 isn't enough for a week in the sun...but a couple could go for 500 each ( with two wages coming in) and the child place would be free. While me, on one wage has to pay twice as that offer doesn't work.

I'm just having a moment where it feels like there doesn't seem to be a point where it gets easier.

I can give you so many examples of families where one of the parents isn't miraculously available at short or advanced notice.

Yes, obviously, so can I - and I can also give you so many examples of single parents with loads of help from the NRP or extended family, etc etc. We all can. That's not comparing like with like though, is it?

No, a doctor can't clock off early to collect a child etc. And for that reason, I think you'd find incredibly few doctors who are also single parents.

Two unemployed parents = all the options.
Two parents working in relatively flexible FT jobs = more options than a single parent working in the same job.
Two parents working in jobs where it is extremely difficult to get away early etc = more options than a single parent working in the same job.
And even... two parents, one in a relatively flexible FT job and one in a much less flexible one = still more options than the single parent in the same relatively flexible FT job!!

and still... someone must come and make sure to compare with couples. This martyrdom competition makes me lose all sympathy for single parents frankly and I won't even bother going into all the benefits, helps, and financial support they get.

Why do you feel that you need comparing with others, I have no idea.

Gosh doctors are on a low wage now....

They are on crap money ivy.

Quantify crap Money? Under national average or over national average?

Only I don’t know any financially poor doctors

I don't think it was any single parent who was doing a comparison.

It was a couple family. Forgetting that a high percent of single parents would have once have been a couple and know how it is.
I would like to know the percentage of doctors who are single parents.

Not that is makes any difference to my original post, which was that it's very hard to not feel screwed over and like it's all for nothing.

As a side, if Mr ft and pt wife got an 8k pay rise, they would see all of it.... so it would be worth the stress / exhaustion etc .

No they aren't Primark - Not by any objective standard.

Not as good as it used to be - true.

You could make an arrangement for junior doctors pay being poor in relation to hours worked - absolutely.

"Doctors are on crap money" in an absolute sense especially if you are not referring to those still on a training wage - nonsense. Insulting and arrogant nonsense to all those who will never earn more than 20k even after decades in the workplace.

*argument not arrangement

www.healthcareers.nhs.uk/explore-roles/doctors/pay-doctors

You'll get there xx

It's that dismissive attitude I find irritating
"If you are single. you can't ask your partner to babysit when you need to work overtime, whilst if you are married you can". Because life is that easy for everybody.

Er not insulting if you compare the training and effort and hours gone into being a junior doctor. Compare to other high level jobs: law. Dentistry. Vetinary medicine. Banking.
Doctors have a shit deal and that is not an insulting statement to someone who works a low level job who never went to university. Both work hard but you cannot compare the two.

Why are people arguing about doctor's pay?

I've just read a very funny book about the experiences of a junior doctor. At one point during a very harrowing, 90+ hour week, he works out his hourly rate and realises he would earn more if he was a parking space in the hospital car park.

I really feel for you OP, and agree that the system sucks. Imo, part of the problem is the high rate at which benefits are withdrawn as earnings rise. By the time you've taken off 32% for tax and NI, and 41% for tax credits, you're not left with much for every extra £ you earn. And if you're getting housing benefit as well, you then lose 65% of what little is left. I've always felt that this is the biggest disincentive to getting people back into work and that the proportion clawed back should start off lower and gradually increase.

Things will get better once you're out of the poverty trap that is benefits, and you'll see more improvement in your finances as your income rises after that point. And you have your self-respect and independence, which is priceless.

It really hacks me off that so many women have to struggle just because they're far more likely to be the ones caring for children, and the fact that so many men get away with paying next to fuck all just enrages me.

Nearly 50 years after the Equal Pay Act, and women are still far worse off than men in a lot of cases.

I'll be free of housing benefit which is a small blessing.

To be free of tax credits I'll need to earn another 250 a month, and that will leave me in the same position i am in now.

I do agree that the taper rate doesn't help and it does remind me why I went to a low pay job because it fit in with dd.

I've read that book too. It was funny And sad.

First off congratulations to u for better ureself and u're son ok on ure own I'm not s single parent but I get ure frustration u have went up wage wise so it's natural to think that you are going to be alot better off and go on holiday but in reality it's extra £100 a month which is easily spent my partner earns just a little more than u do we private let which is expensive but it's our only option at the moment as I do not want a mortgage to be tied to around our kneck for next 25 year I know that doesn't sound right Im technicay paying someone else mortgage at moment but I can leave when ever I want and situation change so easy and my partner is self employed so only earns when he works so does not take holidays as we can't afford it and it's very hard job and he has put his back out and had to take weeks off then how do u pay mortgage but as a single parent ure awesome not once have u thought about how u can treat ureself with ure extra money ure thinking of family holiday for ure son but what annoys me is I have a friend who lives on benefits her and her partner and 3 kids this year they have been Lego land for 2000 then 2 months later they are in Turkey all inclusive holiday another 2000 they can do it and we can't we are always left with no bonus from the government for workinf and paying taxes so these people can live the high life with free everything while were the people who can't afford anything but my point of that is save up what u can and go away last minute deal if u u get a inclusive u won't need to buy food or drinks u can buy clothes from. Now till u go away u don't need to go overboard. With clothing and some spending if u want to go out the villa park but why deny u n u're son a treat with your extra money if these Jobcentre bums can do it so can u things myt abit tight but u will manage or go on ure camping trip this year and go big next year were u havea year to pay it and I really don't know why these people are saying ure better as a couple when you read the posts o here and see all there relationship are fucked up and there miserable and yeah he will share child care when he is the biggest arsehole who does nothing for u but that is the opinion of someone who obvs had the perfect partner who can juggle his job to suit hers as u can do never in real life so u go girl u don't need a man to have a life of money u do it ureself but treat ureself u deserve it it's not very often there's a single parent on hers with really gd income she did all by herself so ure a success u can only keep going up the wages ladder xx

I'm so glad to come across a thread like this! I thought I was the only one who noticed this (I'm the only single parent in my group of friends!) I want to take away my DS 2&5 on holiday but never can get child spaces or a reasonably priced hoilday.

On the side of working - I work in a decent paying but fairly dead end job, the hours are best for child care but well done OP in taking the jump that's best for you!

I’m an sp, one child , always worked crap jobs for low wage. I want you to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. As my wage has gone up my tax credit has gone down, and that’s seemed really hard, but DS turns 18 and leaves college in May. The only money I’ll be down is the child benefit. Anything he earns will be a bonus and not a necessity. I have friends with kids in the same year who are in panic crisis mode because they will lose all their child tax credits and still have to support their children. DS has a good work ethic, partly because I have been a good role model, so hopefully won’t have too much problem getting some work.
Also, we have done a few city breaks together now very cheaply. Last year we went to Berlin for about £300 all in, and Barcelona for £300. Year before we did Paris and Prague. This year we are doing Amsterdam, travel and hotel booked at £129 each. And we will go somewhere later in the year.

It will get better!

Hi OP. I just wanted to chime in with the congratulations. I think what you have done (and plan to do) is amazing. Plus you won't be at the mercy of Universal bloody Credit - a small piece of stress I am sure you don't want!

You will get your time in the sun. The bitter truth is that it takes money to make money - once you have a savings cushion under you to protect you from knock-backs like a car bill or DDs shoes, it's easier to start regular saving towards holidays, gifts and university fees. You will get there. And your daughter will be so proud of you when it happens.