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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - to let my children practice the piano

224 replies

Beanmummy · 30/01/2018 14:51

We live in a 1930's semi detached house. We have a piano and the DC have piano lessons and are grade 4 and 2. They practice for about 40 minutes tops a day and may be a bit more at the weekends.

The piano used to be out in the back room of the house, well away from our neighbour, but due to being next to 3 outside walls the piano was going out of tune and falling to bits and we were told it should be in a room with a more constant temperature.

So we have moved the piano into the front room.

I have just seen the neighbour and explained to him that we had moved the piano. He is not a happy bunny at the best of times, and started to compliant that he could hear the piano from his bedroom, when we had it in our back room (his bedroom was the furthest point away that it could be). Now he says it's like having the piano in the same room! Which I do understand, but we are never playing at unreasonable times. My DC's don't wake early - so at weekends it does tend to be mid-day or afternoon and after school.

AIBU to him, or does this seem reasonable, it's not as if they are just bashing the piano!

OP posts:

Babieseverywhere · 30/01/2018 14:57

Could you invest in a silent piano and get the kids to wear headphones ? Or heating for the back room ?

It sounds like music is a big part of your life and that is not fair on your neighbour.

Mycatisahacker · 30/01/2018 15:00

Mmm have to say with your neighbour on this one op.

Karigan1 · 30/01/2018 15:01

You are not being unreasonable. You are not playing late at night or early morning. Just stick to reasonable hours.

callmeadoctor · 30/01/2018 15:02

I would say that the room temp is not so big a deal and move it back, or get an electric one for practice.

Seeline · 30/01/2018 15:03

He is being unreasonable.
40 minutes a day at reasonable times is fine. And by Grade 2 and 4 the music will be quite pleasant - not like a beginner violinist.

That sort of activity is part of family life. it is no worse than having the radio/TV on etc.

Make sure the DCs are playing at the crack of dawn and let them enjoy their hobby.

BitOutOfPractice · 30/01/2018 15:03

I don't think you're being unreasonable, but I don't think he is being unreasonable either. Even if it is at reasonable times, the sound of two kids piano practice through the walls would drive me nuts sorry

FannyWisdom · 30/01/2018 15:04

When you say reasonable hours I believe you, it's unlikely the kids are up at 2am.

People are silly about this.
It is perfectly normal to make sounds, sometimes you just suck it up.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 30/01/2018 15:04

Hearing a piano being practiced would drive me mad, but if it really is for say 40-60 mins a day at reasonable times, then I honestly think the neighbour doesn't have cause for complaint.

Pengggwn · 30/01/2018 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dazedandconfuzzled · 30/01/2018 15:05

My parents neighbours kids play the piano. He's quite talented but I have to admit it's annoying. Again it was never at unlockable times but 40 mins can seem like forever if you are been forced to listen to it. Luckily they recently had a baby so have got a piano with headphones. My mum says it's blissful.

SnowGoArea · 30/01/2018 15:05

Is the piano on a hard floor? If is is, could you get a thick rug with some underlay for it to go on, and maybe even some carpet to go against the wall it sits against (make sure that's not a party wall).

If all those boxes are ticked, and it's only being played for short durations at reasonable times of day (like you say), then I don't think you are at all unreasonable. It's part of living on that sort of house, you just DO hear your neighbours.

rcit · 30/01/2018 15:05

Has the piano got a practice pedal?

40mins each is a fair chunk of practice.

But I think you are within your rights to continue. Unless you have a really booming piano.

Lashalicious · 30/01/2018 15:06

I don’t think 40 min to an hour of practice at midday and after school is unreasonable at all. And you are trying to be thoughtful of him and let him know you had to move the piano and are having the practice times at the least disruptive time period. Let your children learn music and don’t let your grumpy neighbor stop them.

Dazedandconfuzzled · 30/01/2018 15:06

Unreasonable not unlockable I have no idea wtf happened there.

Lashalicious · 30/01/2018 15:08

PP have good tips—practice pedal, headphones, rug for floor...after having done everything you can to soften the sound, then proceed with lessons, don’t let the neighbor stop your children from learning music, it’s a good thing for children to learn and spend their time on.

RedHelenB · 30/01/2018 15:08

Just heat the back room constantly problem solved.

Myddognearlyatethedeliveryman · 30/01/2018 15:10

Tell him you take requests. Ask him what time would be best for him and try and see if it suits you. If not, unfortunately neighbours are noisey at times!! Suggest he hoovers at the same time then he won't hear it!!

Crumbs1 · 30/01/2018 15:10

Or unreasonable and better than screaming children. Agree deaden noise as much as possible by using carpet. Do you mean 20 minutes each or 40 minutes each? That’s very different. Could you ask what best time would be for the neighbours and juggle to accommodate both parties?

HuskyMcClusky · 30/01/2018 15:12

I think you should move the piano back and invest in some more insulation (or whatever is required) for the back room.

It’s not worth the bad blood.

MollyHuaCha · 30/01/2018 15:13

I support your children practising and they should not stop.

To help, could you pull the piano away from the wall a few cm and tape empty paper egg boxes behind it for some sound insulation?

Nikephorus · 30/01/2018 15:13

Could you agree a set time with him so at least he knows when to expect it (and when it will stop!)?

SoTotallyOverThis · 30/01/2018 15:13

Honestly buy a full length electronic keyboard, they have weighted keys so feel like a piano, and plug in headphones. Assuming they’re going to only keep practicing more and more this may be a good compromise. I can hear my neighbours practicing and I swear it sounds like they’re in the same room.....

Greensleeves · 30/01/2018 15:16

I don't think you should have to insulate the bloody room or any other such nonsense. Children practising a very conventional musical instrument for half an hour or so during the daytime is not a noise nuisance, and if he didn't want to hear evidence of other people he should have bought a remote farmhouse somewhere. Miserable git.

Original poster

Beanmummy · 30/01/2018 15:17

@snowgoarea
It's not against the party wall! and it is on carpet with underlay, but I like the carpet against the wall - I will try that thank you.

Its 20 minutes each (and that is being generous)!

@Crumbs1
We have been there with the screaming child! When DD was 8 months old, she was ill, and it turned out to be a urninary track infection. It took the GP 3 weeks to work it out. All that time she cried alot and he went nuts about is. I was beside myself, as I had a poorly child, who I couldn't comfort! and he was giving me shit about it (This is a man who has children too!)

OP posts:

Trinity66 · 30/01/2018 15:19

I think he's being unreasonable, it's less than an hour a day at sociable times.

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