AIBU - to let my children practice the piano

[Beanmummy]

We live in a 1930's semi detached house. We have a piano and the DC have piano lessons and are grade 4 and 2. They practice for about 40 minutes tops a day and may be a bit more at the weekends.

The piano used to be out in the back room of the house, well away from our neighbour, but due to being next to 3 outside walls the piano was going out of tune and falling to bits and we were told it should be in a room with a more constant temperature.

So we have moved the piano into the front room.

I have just seen the neighbour and explained to him that we had moved the piano. He is not a happy bunny at the best of times, and started to compliant that he could hear the piano from his bedroom, when we had it in our back room (his bedroom was the furthest point away that it could be). Now he says it's like having the piano in the same room! Which I do understand, but we are never playing at unreasonable times. My DC's don't wake early - so at weekends it does tend to be mid-day or afternoon and after school.

AIBU to him, or does this seem reasonable, it's not as if they are just bashing the piano!

Just be prepared for him to be noisy at times to annoy you. I had to do this as neigbour loved to do music practice for 1 hour EVERY morning for an hour starting at 8am on the dot she also went to bed at 9pm on the dot every night so around 9pm we would do all the noisy stuff aka mow the lawn do the hovering and turn the washing machine on (we asked her poliety if she could start later in the day she said no its here right to do what she wants in her house when she wants)

But after 2 weeks of us doing that she asked us to stop (while also continuing the music practice we said we will stop when she is being more reasonable, she caved in the end as we are stubborn (only normally every day noise so she would get no were with environmental health).

Okay, piano practice is actually a normal, neighbourly, urban sound. People/snowflakes who are driven to distraction by normal noise need to man up or move.

There are lots of places in the world (mostly Asia) where people live in tiny flats, with no soundproofing, and kids routinely attain Grade 8 piano. Why not in the UK? Because of attitudes like your neighbour’s.

I think the obsession with quietness is unreasonable. There’s lots of space in the countryside for those who can’t tolerate normal noise.

YANBU.

He is BU.

If he wants silence he can move.

Yanbu. I wouldn’t even have mentioned it to him tbh. If it were drums or his children’s rock/heavy metal band that would be another matter.

My neighbours have a piano, they play the same tune over, and over, and over from 8 in the morning until dark of night. I still prefer that than the sound of the father/h screaming at his children at 7:30 in the morning which was what woke me at the weekend.

People who live in attached houses have noise. This is life.

You are being unreasonable.
Move the piano back into the other non-adjoining room, against another wall.
Piano noise is no different to loud radio or tv noise imo, and is antisocial.

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable. And unless he is offering to fund an electric piano (for those people suggesting then you do realise they are hundreds of pounds?) then he can suck it up.

Well done to your kids getting their grades. 🎶

I think if you live in a semi (as I do) you need to be a bit tolerant of reasonable noise from next door. Piano playing for 40 minutes is fine -my neighbour practices for longer than that, and I really enjoy listening to it! Louder noise, or noise at night, not so much.

Most people, if approached by a neighbour in the way that you did, would behave graciously and reasonably. I keep apologising to my lovely NDN about the racket our builders make, and he swears he can't hear it (which is a lie) or that if he can, it's a good excuse to listen to some music through headphones (which I know is just trying to make me feel better). I owe him big style for his tremendous tolerance and understanding. You, unfortunately, have got a CF git for a neighbour instead, who will use anything you raise to moan and whinge. Stop treating him like a reasonable person and giving him ammo to fire at you! You are being reasonable - he is not.

Sounds like he will be an arse whatever you do or don't do.

I don't think you are BU at all.

P.S. How do you get kids to practise for that long? I need tips!

P. P. S. If you get any nonsense from him, start learning the violin. That'll recalibrate his annoyance levels.

He can buy some noise reducing headphone or sth!! Much better than making your kids practice on a keyboard if you have a 'real' piano!

Yanbu

If you live in a semi you have to accept noise from neighbours

worridmum

That's different though, your request wasn't unreasonable, you just asked her to make it a bit later which is perfectly fine thing to ask someone, seems like the OPs neighbor just never wants them practicing

This seems reasonable to me, but I'm a piano teacher.

Please don't use the practise pedal all the time if you have one just use it is for short periods as it upsets the touch they are making on the piano.

But other suggestions carpet on the wall, or a duvet shoved down the back can minimise the noise.

So unless he works nights where you can arrange practise times accordingly I'd say nothing more unless he comes to you and hope your DC's don't start playing any pieces from Walter Carrolls Southern Seas any time soon, that will drive him mad.

And Tentomidnight, I understand some people won't like the piano noise but at least with the piano it tends to be only for short periods unless you are living next door to a professional. Whereas the TV will be on for hours.

Those of you suggesting an electronic piano, unfortunately, whether weighted keys or not, they are not a suitable alternative to a piano. Not is keeping the piano in an unheated or overheated room a good idea.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable because the times are fair but I can understand the neighbour feeling disturbed. You may not think it sounds like a child ‘bashing the piano’ but that maybe is what it sounds like to others. What about adding soundproofing to the walls? I’m sure some mumnetters can recommend something. Then you are being ultra reasonable and he’s got nothing to complain about.

I live in a mid terrace house.

On the one side we have neighbours whose dog barks for a couple of minutes when they go out in the morning. On the other side we have the piano playing ones where the man shouts, screams, sounds generally aggressive towards anyone and everyone.

Prior to those we had neighbours on one side with screaming children and loud shagging. On the other side we had anti-social neighbours whose 38 year old son smoked weed and played rock music out of his bedroom window and whose dog barked constantly and was so aggressive it could only be walked under the cover of darkness. Yet said neighbour made false allegations about me to the RSPCA, amongst others wen my cat wandered into her front garden one morning and after she left the neighbourhood I found out that she’d already alienated all the rest of the street hence why she started on me when I moved in.

FWIW most of the neighbours (apart from weed-smoking, barking-dog owning ones are generally nice, but they make/have made noise. Noise goes hand in hand with living in a neighbourhood with other people.

Next door is being an ass and should put up with it, as long as it is as you say they arnt playing at unsocialabke hours :)

Not if within reasonable hours but I do recall hating my neighbours when I was at uni as I used to work past midnight doing functions and always be woken up on the weekend 8/9am by plinking... I never complained but was always silently grumpy :)

This was against the party wall and as my bedroom was over the garage noise travelled up. Apparently I got my own back without realising as a couple of years later I moved the room around so headrest was against the other wall and tv was on party wall. I used to fall asleep to it :) :)

I never moved it before as it was my parents house so I never did much to the room until I moved back in before buying my own place

I'm not in agreement with your neighbour. It's not like you are watching the football at full blast or having screaming matches. Pianos aren't even that loud. So long as your children aren't playing at unsociable times it's not a problem, more part and parcel of living in a semi. If it bothers him he should get some sound proofing. I say this as someone who is extremely sensitive to noise.

We have a dog that barks on one side ALL DAY... but we cant say much as we sometimes have a baby that cries all night!

It's hell on earth listening to selfish people practise when they could have earphones and a silent thing in place for neighbours. Grade two and four is desperately awful.

YABU although you think you are not.

Poor neighbour. Years of this crap ahead.

Sound proof the wall and perhaps speak to the neighbours to see if certain times can be avoided. For me it might be nap times for example

I agree with ferrier to learn the piano properly, you need a real acoustic piano. The electric ones, no matter how advanced, just are not the same thing. At all, even with weighted keys. In fact, I would say it ruins the whole experience if that’s all you have to play on.

There is a solution that does not involve making your children play on an electric piano. Yes, a lot of musicians have them for various reasons but they will tell you it’s not like a real piano. Those are not meant for everyday playing and practicing, those are for when you absolutely have to use it because of circumstances or sometimes teachers use them when teaching a different main instrument and they need the piano for accompaniment.

We had a piano teacher move next to our old house. Hours upon hours of shitty practice. Really intrusive. Piano was pushed right up to our joint wall. It was awful. It did sound like the piano was in our house. I hated it. They refused to do anything to try and lessen the noise.

I listened to music and my TV with earphones to be considerate for over 6 months. So did DD.

Now, I don't bother!!! Neighbours can go take a hike, arseholes that they are! Guarenteed they are getting the message.

DanTDM, I couldn’t disagree more. Grades 2 and 4 (and all other grades) are great.