AIBU - to let my children practice the piano

[Beanmummy]

We live in a 1930's semi detached house. We have a piano and the DC have piano lessons and are grade 4 and 2. They practice for about 40 minutes tops a day and may be a bit more at the weekends.

The piano used to be out in the back room of the house, well away from our neighbour, but due to being next to 3 outside walls the piano was going out of tune and falling to bits and we were told it should be in a room with a more constant temperature.

So we have moved the piano into the front room.

I have just seen the neighbour and explained to him that we had moved the piano. He is not a happy bunny at the best of times, and started to compliant that he could hear the piano from his bedroom, when we had it in our back room (his bedroom was the furthest point away that it could be). Now he says it's like having the piano in the same room! Which I do understand, but we are never playing at unreasonable times. My DC's don't wake early - so at weekends it does tend to be mid-day or afternoon and after school.

AIBU to him, or does this seem reasonable, it's not as if they are just bashing the piano!

I would absolutely hate to live next to a house where the kids practised piano for 40 minutes a day. It would really irritate me. You can argue about the rights and wrongs of it for hours but I still think it's very selfish and unneighbourly. I think the fact that you moved the piano probably makes your neighbour think you don't care about him at all.

Surely it would be easy to insulate and heat the extension. Otherwise why wouldn't you invest in an electric keyboard.

@Flippetydip invest in practice mutes, you can still hear noise but it is far quieter even if they go full pelt. If you have the resource silent mutes are amazing but not as cheap as practice mutes

@Beanmummy you're already being perfectly reasonable. Of all the musical instruments your child could play a piano is the least offensive from a learner. Trying to soundproof behind the piano is a great idea though.

You could always comment to neighbour that now the piano is in the front room you have room out the back for the children to learn percussion so you're looking into drum kits next

I don't think the fact that some people like listening to neighbours practising the piano means that someone else is wrong to find it irritating.

Our old neighbours, the father used to have screaming arguments with one of his sons late at night. The kids had a few all-night parties as well. That was inconsiderate.

The terrace behind us, one of the houses had a drummer who used to practise in the day. That was fine.

Then there's all the other noises that may annoy people - TV, music, dogs etc. We don't have the right to live in complete silence if we're living near other people.

YANBU. You shouldn't leave your piano in a room that is damaging it and there is nothing wrong with your children practicing if you're being considerate about it, which it seems you are.

I would be thrilled if the kid next door started practicing the piano for 40 mins a day. Music is good for you and everyone should have the opportunity to learn an instrument growing up. Objecting to that, you might as well be one of those people who complains about children playing outside.

OP, can you get your kids to talk loudly about how much they'd love to play the bagpipes next time he's around?

YANBU, and I wouldn’t be getting an electric one for practicing on. I think they’re fine for more experienced players, but the action and feel is definitely different to a traditional piano.

I work in tenancy sustainment and deal with a lot of ASB complaints. 90% are noise complaints and they are usually tit for tat situations with neighbours retaliating with their own noise against the perceived wrong doings of others.
What I mostly have to tell them is that reasonable living noise is permitted between 8am and 9pm. Plus they have chosen to live in proximity to others, so they need to suck it up really... and when you start 'retaliatory noise', you end up being the one penalised or else the whole thing escalates into an untenable situation...
YANBU op... but my suggestion, further than the measures you have taken to noise proof already, would be to do nothing else. It's inherent on your neighbour to take formal proceedings if he feels he can prove anti social noise-which in this case he will not be able to do, as there has been none.

We had a piano in a terraced house - the neighbours didn't complain at all.
Then I went round one evening whilst someone was playing
It was every bit as loud in their house as it was mine
I sold the piano and bought an electronic one with ear phones

Then our other neighbours bought a piano and bluddy hell it was annoying - one could play well but the other couldn't. It really was very loud

Can you go sit in his lounge whilst your children play and then honestly assess whether you'd be happy with it or not. Your insulation might be better than ours.

Get a Clavinova - same touch as a piano + pedals and they can use headphones. I am a music enthusiast and a champion of children learning instruments; but I also value good neighbourliness and listening to children struggling with their learning is not a great joy to anyone other than the parents. I think you should do the decent thing and do all you can not to impinge on the neighbours.

I've played the piano since I was 4 (childhood home was detached, so never an issue), however I would not like to live in an attached house to someone learning the piano. If your DC are learning properly they will have a series of warm exercises and scales to practice daily, which is hardly what someone trying to peacefully enjoy their own home wants to hear.

Obviously in the past the only choice was between a disturbing the neighbours with a piano or no piano, whereas now digital pianos can be purchased at reasonable prices, which I think is the only fair and reasonable thing to do in an attached house, and much more cost effective than you moving to a detached house.

Jesus just move it.

Fuck sake what's the big deal.

Get it tuned once in a while.

God do people seriously jeopardise their sanity for the sake of this nonsense

YANBU!

How on earth can anyone complain about 40 minutes of music practice? A child playing a piano at this level is not even very loud, and is not offensive sounding. What a terribly mean spirited attitude from your neighbour, (and also from lots of people on here).

I think it is so sad that kids are not encouraged to play music; it is a wonderful thing for them to do.

How sad that kids can't make normal sounds like playing an acoustic instrument for a short time, without getting complaints. No one would complain about a child listening to TV for 40 minutes at a similar volume.

It is 100% true that the temperature and humidity affect a piano very much, so having the instrument in a room that doesn't have extreme temperature changes is a good idea.

claraschu try living next door to a piano. No such thing as quiet piano-playing, and trust me, 40 minutes can seem endless....

Practising the piano after school is perfectly reasonable, expecting to never hear normal noise from your neighbours is ridiculous, and complaining about a poorly baby crying is awful.

It's usual to hear things like music, hoovering, diy etc as long as it isn't at unreasonable times. We all have to live with these things. I can hear my upstairs neighbours hoovering and moving furniture right now, and they probably heard my toddler running about a few minutes ago. If we wanted to find these things annoying we could get wound up by them, but we're all reasonable people so we just accept that we're being as considerate as we can be whilst still living our lives.

This is completely fine within normal rules about noise, you can loook these up on your local authority website. People do not have a right to expect silence.

How on earth can anyone complain about 40 minutes of music practice?

To be fair, listening to someone struggling through scales and arpeggios can be pretty soul-destroying.

I can't believe how many people think it's perfectly acceptable to be anti-social with noise.

hoovering at reasonable hours: fine
toilet flushing: well, that's life.
but music and tv? I am sorry, but if your neighbours can hear them, then they are too loud!

Can your ask to pop round and see how loud it is in his house? Depending on the sound proofing you may be surprised at how loud it sounds in his house, or it may just be a faint background noise. That would influence my decision, and the sound proofing can be so varied depending on the type of house.

If it’s noticeably loud, I do think daily playing is unreasonable. Even taking into account no-one has a right to complete silence, and coming from a musical family too (saxophone, drums, flute & more).

If you live in a semi or a terraced house, noise from neighbours is normal. He needs to get over it.

We live in a kind of mews where the houses are detached and face each other. My arsehole of a neighbour complained every time my son (grade 8) played. This was between about 6 and 9pm. How he could even hear it is beyond me.

I have since found out that they are the kind of people that have to have something to complain about, so we totally ignore them now.

@callmeadoctor

"I would say that the room temp is not so big a deal and move it back, or get an electric one for practice."

Did you even read the post?

OP, YANBU. Your neighbor sounds like a grouch. You aren't doing anything wrong, if he doesn't want to hear his neighbors he shouldn't live in a place so close to others. Part of having neighbors is hearing their noise. As long as you don't have the kids playing at unreasonable times he can suck it up.

Piano is normal in the same say that TV, radio, lawnmower, shagging, arguing,
children playing, crying is normal. You just get on with it if it doesn't go on too long and is at a reasonable time of day.

I would absolutely hate to live next to a house where the kids practised piano for 40 minutes a day. It would really irritate me

Well, ok. But so what? It would just be hard luck for you, wouldn't it? It really irritated me when I lived in a terrace and I could hear next doors babies crying in the night, but so what? Babies make noise, pianos make noise, people make noise, and terraces are not conducive to isolation.

You can be irritated, but that doesn't mean anyone else needs to accomodate your annoyance.

Mivery? The Op said that the room that piano was in should be at a more constant temp? (I said that I wouldn't be too worried about temp!) The Op hasn't got an electric piano but I suggested it could be worth swapping so one could wear headphones, how are you suggesting that I didn't read the post? I was trying to be helpful, was there a need to be snipey?