Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 2 year old at home?

999 replies

Ember12 · 29/01/2018 22:10

Me and my oh have been discussing going on holiday with the children in in late august, i was telling my mother about it and she offered to look after my 2 year old for the week Smile spoke to my oh and he thought it was a great idea he would ask his parents to help my mother out that week aswell, we would be be able to go to theme/water parks and take the older 2 on rides etc without one of us having to stay with the baby. Would be able to relax alot more around the pool ad my older two are very confident in water. Anyway were having holy hell over it all with my brothers girlfriend what awful and selfish parents we are and how my mother is playing favourites! My mother works 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and takes turns looking after all her grandchildren 1 stays each sunday night so no favouritism at all! She looked after my brothers children for 3 days while they went on a short break. Aibu in accepting my mothers offer? Or does it really make me a selfish and awful mother?

OP posts:
hellsbellsmumofboys · 01/02/2018 13:47

@rocketgirl22
If I had to to spend time with my eldest 2 to do the things solely with them then I would leave my youngest with his gp! I spend every single day at home with my youngest doing all the great things with him learning playing etc.... so if I want time with the others to do older things I would yes leave him with his gp I've done this for days out etc..... several times! Does that make me a bad parent? No not at all! Some people need to grow up on this thread and realise that everyone does things differently no one is perfect! I grew up one of three and many many weekends I spent with my gp on my own! Loved every minute of it and hey guess what I turned out ok!

rocketgirl22 · 01/02/2018 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WaxOnFeckOff · 01/02/2018 13:48

Bertrand I don't think that is necessarily comparable. i.e. was your DS old enough to choose or young enough that he wouldn't be able to do any hillwalking and pushing the buggy up the hill would be impossible? Could you have afforded to do a holiday that was more suitable for all rather one that was essentially free? Was this your main family holiday? Would DS have enjoyed the holiday even if it meant that you didn't go up as high hills etc? (I'm not expecting you to answer by the way, just saying that whether it was/we think it was selfish or not depends on more factors than you've given)

I don't think we necessarily comment on whether it is 100% always a bad thing. We are commenting on the particular scenario presented.

rocketgirl22 · 01/02/2018 13:49

hellsbells

Again, it was for one day!!!
Not a week hells, ffs you must be able to see the gaping difference.

taskmaster · 01/02/2018 13:50

What we really think....

speak for your paranoid nasty self only please. The rest of us sane people think no such bullshit.

rocketgirl22 · 01/02/2018 13:52

task

I am lots of things, but I am neither paranoid nor nasty. I think there is much more to this than we have heard. Call it mothers instinct Hmm

Original poster
Ember12 · 01/02/2018 13:54

Wow advantage of my mother really? We both have an amazing set of parents who love nothing more than spending time with there children and grandchilden which isnt just me and mine. I know my mother would take great offence to that sentence

OP posts:
taskmaster · 01/02/2018 13:56

You are. And Mothers instinct my ass. You're just an over-invested keyboard warrior trying to upset OP for no good reason.

I left my now 23 year old dc with granny for 2 weeks when he was three. He's a charming, secure, successful young man who loves his mother and grandmother very much. He wasn't in any way traumatised by his chocking experience of being loved and cared for by other people.

rocketgirl22 · 01/02/2018 13:56

As a rule most normal family members do not walk around calling committed caring parents 'awful' or 'selfish' and if they did, if op was so confident that she is not any of these things, then why would it bother her?

Someone could call me 'wicked' 'selfish' whatever, it wouldn't bother me, I know it isn't the truth.

So by op's very reaction, we know there is some truth to what the gf says otherwise she would not have posted.

taskmaster · 01/02/2018 13:56

shocking

rocketgirl22 · 01/02/2018 13:57

ember

Not all of your family agree with your mum do they? Some see it very differently.

rocketgirl22 · 01/02/2018 13:58

task

Are you for real?

Original poster
Ember12 · 01/02/2018 13:58

Therr isnt much more to this we decided to book out annual holiday, my mother offered to have our youngest we discussed it then accepted her offer sil kicked off, i asked here spoke to oh and mother again and then booked it i dont know what else therr could possilby be to it?

OP posts:
taskmaster · 01/02/2018 13:59

yes, unlike you, GF.

rocketgirl22 · 01/02/2018 14:00

ember

I am not sure why you are continuing. You have booked the holiday, there is no more discussion. You have done it now.

You made the call, I hope your dd is okay and you have the memorable holiday you hope for. We may not agree with you, you have read the posts but thats okay. She is your dd and you know best

Original poster
Ember12 · 01/02/2018 14:01

No this is one family member who has caused many problems of the years. I normally do ignore her but i have never been called a selfish and awful mother before so this one hit

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 01/02/2018 14:01

task, did you take your DSs two older brothers away and just leave him?

taskmaster · 01/02/2018 14:06

What difference does it make whether I did or did not?None, that's what.
But yes, I have taken various of my children places without the others as well, and they are all happy and secure and charming.

OP, you know this is fine, you know your children, you know your family. These people are just goading whiners who are for some reason trying to convince you that you are an awful parent and wishing harm to your children. Ignore them for them what they are, people who should be concentrating more on their own children and not on yours!

Original poster
Ember12 · 01/02/2018 14:09

I am continuing because this is my thread and i do not appreciate been told i should never had my daughter.

OP posts:
taskmaster · 01/02/2018 14:10

Exactly Ember. Why people think that is an ok thing to say to anyone is beyond me. Hmm

WaxOnFeckOff · 01/02/2018 14:14

What difference does it make whether I did or did not?None, that's what.

Of course it makes a difference. It's the being excluded that is the issue here, not the being left with a loving grandparent.

It's not about being left out of something that the person would get no enjoyment from, it's not about being left out together with your siblings so that the parents can spend a while as a couple. It's leaving one member of the family out of a holiday that they would enjoy.

taskmaster · 01/02/2018 14:17

No it isn't. A two year old doesn't know they are excluded, and doing something different from your siblings is not being excluded.

If I take the older children to the cinema one day and the younger one to soft play another, neither are being excluded, they are merely doing separate age appropriate activities.
Same as older ones going away on holiday and younger one going to grannies for holiday. Separate age appropriate activities, no exclusion.

It's only nasty people with nasty minds that have to make it into a horrible thing. Hope they are nicer to their own children.

hellsbellsmumofboys · 01/02/2018 14:18

@rocketgirl22 no because as I've said if I felt it was right id do it! As long as child is left with someone they love and be looked after I genuinely don't see it as being an issue because the holiday is about spending time with the older boys doing older stuff! Said younger child will have a ball with his gp older kids will love spending time with parents doing older things absolutely certain the child won't grow up to resent them! When I was a kid me and my elder sister went on holiday for 2 weeks with my nana and grandad abroad and my younger sister went for 2 weeks with my mum and dad! Loved the holiday loved the time away with my gp and as I've said done me absolutely no harm!
This is what is wrong with our society today people judging people for things like this!

Original poster
Ember12 · 01/02/2018 14:19

I know people aren't going to agree anything to do with children can be a touchy subject.. i guess i just wanted people to agree with my that my child would be fine from personal experiences and i believe i have got that from some people along with the other views if i thought this was gonna seriously affect my child this wouldn't even be a question but i know my child and i know she will be fine.. if she isnt which i dont think she will be then thats my guilt to live with i guess

OP posts:
Confrontayshunme · 01/02/2018 14:19

I had a really difficult summer when DD1 was 2 (behaviour wise) and we had opted not to go only the annual family holiday because I was exhausted. Then my MIL offered to take the 2 year old with them. She had help from aunts and uncle and grandad, and we had a lovely stress free week that allowed us a relationship "reset" with the 2yo. It was a brilliant decision as they got to know her better and we got a break. DO IT!