Are my neighbours tits?

[corrianderisthedevil]

I could bore you with a huge back catalogue of all the titish things our neighbours have said/done/complained about over the years but I'll spare you the tedium.

What I'd like to know is how much this would annoy you.....

Every evening mr tit goes out and comes back home between around 10.30-11pm.
He pulls up on the drive (our driveways adjoin) and beeps his horn in order for Mrs tit to come out and open the garage for him.

He only beeps once but we live on an incredibly quiet road so it feels very loud and intrusive at that time of night.

My DH and I used to just give each other the look whenever it happened but now it's become such a nightly ritual that it enrages me so much that I've lost all perspective of things.

I have 3 small children at home and this beeping hasn't woken them up so I guess you could ask what my problem is. It just seems like a wholly obnoxious and inconsiderate thing to do, or AIBU?!

Yep you need a banshee like chockys

That would annoy me so much and what would annoy me even more would be my dh’s laid back tolerance of the horn blowing - ‘well it doesn’t wake the kids so why does it matter?’ I can’t bear reasonableness when I’m being unreasonably enraged!

Forgiveness & MissMoney, fabulous poems.

What time do they wake up in the morning? We used to live next door to some students who had regular loud parties late at night, which one memorable evening resulted in them naked wrestling in the middle of the road. I used to regularly shout at them but the thing that was really effective was hammering on their front door at 7am while they were hung over & warning them that we'd report them to the council / police / their parents...

I want to do all of the suggestions (other than talking politely to them) and I especially want to post missmoneys poem through their door or shine a searchlight on his beeping rust bucket every time he does it.

Oh help, last nights rage is resurfacing.....

@MissMoneyPlant that was the most fantastic Mr Tit poem I've ever read. OP, please post it!! You could even draw a picture of the tits and you with a red angry face with steam coming out of your ears.

I understand your rage, and you have had some amusing replies.

One of my neighbours used to occasionally bring his firm's rally car home and he had the Duke of Hazards horn on that and he would beep to let the kids know he was home, and it caused a lot of amusement. I can guarantee you'd attract their attention with that, but a bit unfair on everyone else at night.

That's quite noisy though so I would probably start with a bicycle bell or a handbell, so I could open the bedroom window and ring it without all the faff of going outside. Good luck and let us know how you get on.

In my head The Tits are drawn in ink and wash Quentin Blake style.

Perhaps they are related to the Twits.

I'm sure some Dahlesque misfortune will ensue as a just reward for their beepishness.

I'm thinking a sink hole.

Perhaps I could make my fortune writing a children's book about mr and Mrs tit involving sink holes and poems. I'll be so rich that I won't be able to hear their shitty car horn from my Beverly Hills mansion

A limerick for your tit neighbour:

Next door is a tit with a horn
Whose beeping cannot be borne
Tit! Ring your bell!
Or you'll go to hell
And wish you had never been born.

Mrs and Mrs Tit
Stop blowing your horn
You're a shit
Fin

It would make a lovely children's book.

A quiet and peaceful night

The children are asleep
'Good night' says mum
Night' says dad

and then....

BEEEEEEP >

Not the Tits again!

Will they never learn
It's just not right

To bib your horn at night

They live next door to us
So I don't want to cause a fuss
But I really think I might

Do the very British thing and start a thread on mumsnet hoping the daily fail will pick it up and the Tits will in fact read it.

OP

YABU because it should definitely be spelt 'tittish' rather than 'titish' as the latter would surely be pronounce tight-ish.

Thank you. As you were.

Blue I did ponder the correct spelling of titish/tittish. For some reason, the former appealed to me more last night. In the cold light of day, I can see that tittsh is better. I do apologise

....although they are also 'tight-ish' as they once wouldn't pay their half of the fencing invoice to the fencing men. But that's a whole other children's book story

Pretty sure you're not supposed to beep horn, play loud music etc after a certain time... so rude I can't believe someone would beep at that time next to someone's house!! Ask them to stop

Can you go to your car shortly before the time he comes home then beep your horn in the same manner as MrTit? Then hide. Mrs Tit will have a wasted journey to open the garage door. Repeat as necessary.

I can imagine it must be a bit annoying, but you just need to let this stuff go.

One nightly beep of a car horn! It's not even that late..

This reminds me of the 'pregnancy rage' story that my OH tells whenever anyone mentions hormonal pregnant women.

I was having a nap on a Sunday afternoon when some massive tit started beeping his horn in the street outside. After about 10 minutes of intermittent beeping (with gaps just long enough to make you think maybe he's buggered off, but NO), I stormed out in my dressing gown and slippers and screamed obscenities at him at the top of my lungs until he got scared and drove off.

This seemed like a completely normal and natural reaction at the time, until I told my OH when he got home and he queried whether the tit had actually deserved to be called a 'collosal cunt' and whether it might have been a slight error to threaten to murder him.

The next day my NDN had a quiet word to check if I was ok.

Smeerf I’ve just properly gaffawed at that - sounds like something I’d do too

smeerf

If it was me I would sign them up to lots of salesman visits and free brochures from companies that provide remote control garage doors...

Or buy them a cheap wireless doorbell from Amazon that he could keep the button in his car and press it when he gets home (assuming it retains the connection - no idea!). Put through the door anonymously with an appropriately worded note/limerick to get the point across in a perfectly PA way, while (hopefully) resolving the issue at the same time!

Smeerf like your style. Great use of 'collosal' and 'cunt' too. I too suffered with terrible pregnancy rage. Mainly over my husbands chewing/breathing/existing noise-related incidents. After 3 kids I fear it's a permanent feature of my personality now.

I'm glad it's not just me. All my pals from ante natal class are all calm, zen earth mothers who sit around stroking their bumps and smiling peacefully, whereas I have become a sweaty psychopath.

I like the doorbell idea. Can you somehow rig it to deliver a mild electric shock?

Your time will come ...... we had 5 years of our neighbour leaving at 6am and slamming his front door hard, waking us up. Now he's 'semi retired' and we're up and out at 5.30am for swim training and shift work, he he he he he he HE!