Are my neighbours tits?

[corrianderisthedevil]

I could bore you with a huge back catalogue of all the titish things our neighbours have said/done/complained about over the years but I'll spare you the tedium.

What I'd like to know is how much this would annoy you.....

Every evening mr tit goes out and comes back home between around 10.30-11pm.
He pulls up on the drive (our driveways adjoin) and beeps his horn in order for Mrs tit to come out and open the garage for him.

He only beeps once but we live on an incredibly quiet road so it feels very loud and intrusive at that time of night.

My DH and I used to just give each other the look whenever it happened but now it's become such a nightly ritual that it enrages me so much that I've lost all perspective of things.

I have 3 small children at home and this beeping hasn't woken them up so I guess you could ask what my problem is. It just seems like a wholly obnoxious and inconsiderate thing to do, or AIBU?!

Is it a little ‘bip’ or a full on BEEP?

These details are vitally important.

It's not a 'bip' but it's also not a 'beeeeeeeep'. In summary, I think it's a beep. Enough to get under the skin of most normal, Highway Code-abiding folk.

The selfish fucking bellends. They’re the epitome of I’m alright Jack types. Literally cannot think of anyone else outside of their own tiny little bubble.

The worst thing is, I bet they don’t even need to beep the horn because they can hear the car engine arriving home. And also, why is it easier for the person inside the house to get their shoes on, come out, open the garage and then go back in the house than it is for the lazy arse to get out of the car and open the garage door themselves?

Complete dickheads (I may have blown all this slightly out of proportion)

I feel your pain. The house next door to us is rented out on 6 monthly lets. We've had no end of annoying neighbours

Ones who let their 3 year old roam the streets - check
Ones who had vicious dogs who barked incessantly - check
Ones who had about 20 people living in a 4 bed and made constant noise - check
Ones who stood on our wall to have a fag and knackered it - check
Ones who thought I was a free babysitter - check
Professional footballer with dodgy dalliances behind his wife's Back - check
Ones who put all their rubbish on the front lawn, set fire to it and went out - check

I'd be very happy living in a field on our own.

JaniceBattersby I think you've just about pitched your annoyance perfectly. You've grasped my exasperation and run with it. This was just what I needed. I think weld get along well!

Please do what Dancing suggested.

Your car horn
Stops making me yawn
It fills me with rage
You’re making me Age

Get out of your car
And ding dong the bell
Instead of sitting on your arse
Why do it, pray tell

I’m rubbish at poems but it’s a start.

Come on Mnetters, the OP needs to pen a poem and send it to The Tits. I know there’s great poets amongst us (not me included, obvs) This deserves a great poem.

Get together with the neighbours and sit in your cars waiting for him to arrive home. When he beeps, all of you beep back at him immediately

My Dad would print out the relevant section of the Highway Code and gaffer tape it to their windscreen. You know, to be helpful.

I'd probably just scream STFU out the window. I'm classy like that.

Can you accidentally pull the garage door off, then he can just drive in, or Superglue the keyhole on the lock up? How about buy a loud dog barking and savage, blood curdling growling noise and set it off at 10000db when he beeps to subtly drop a hint -better still do you have any bushes near to titbeep that could shake violently too when he beeps?

Combo of above. Beep your horn early, wait until she comes out, then drive onto their drive. Wave, then fuck off.

We have child visitor tits for NDN. When they visit their parents (our NDN) they drive off and halfway down our extremely quiet street they beep their horn loudly to say goodbye...to the people they've just said goodbye to on the doorstep.
Eejits

Why can’t Mr Tit GET OUT OF HIS CAR AND RING HIS DOORBELL alerting his wife to his garage opening requirements or go in the house and do it his fecking self.

Bloody gnome.

Yes!! Utterly pendulous udders.

what a fantastically MN response! Reminds me of the olden day’s when all was fields.

Yes OP definitely tits. Why can’t he just get out and open the garage himself?

My neighbours are proper knobs and because they are knobs everything they do is wrong (to me) one thing they do is if they are leaving the house in separate cars at the same time they will beep their horns at each other. Like a “bye bye” kind of thing. It irrationally riles me. Just say goodbye with actual words in the 3 seconds before you get into the cars!! Grr. (I know, it’s not actually a real problem )

When he beeps his horn lean out of the window and shout 'Horn Tit' at the top of your voice. Every time. Until he stops.

like bus wanker!

I'd go out five minutes before he gets home and beep your horn so his wife comes out. Do this on different nights so she has to keep coming out unnecessarily. Do it several times in an evening.

Brilliant!!

they don't have kids? Maybe they enjoy a lie in at the weekends? I'd say that you maybe have a need to beep your horn every weekend and bank holiday morning...

If Mr Tit MUST ask his wife to open the garage, WHY can't he text her or ring her in a dignified way??? More to the point, why can't he open the garage door himself??? What a TIT.

"Both ageing professionals with no children. So they've never had anyone to worry about other than their titish selves"

Wow. Few assumptions going on there.

Yes. That they're both a bit older, don't have children, and only have themselves to think about.

The assumption that this may make them less considerate people would be unfair, if.. well, they weren't being such inconsiderate people.

Love a good poem, thanks GentleJones.

In the voice of my lovely 8 year old who really is quite terrible at soliloquy

Why do beep your horn,
when you know it is not morn,
Why do you beep your horn
when you always arrive forlorn
Why do you beep your horn
when a text would erst thee warn
Your garage with motion sensor light adorn,
No more need, to beep your horn.

I used to love next door to Mr Tit. Mr Tit moved in after us and for about a month used to mow his lawn at 7am on a weekend. And to top it all off on weekday mornings Mr Bigger Tit used to come and pick him up for work at half five and beep his horn three times.

This carried on till we heard a scream like a banshee one morning and the women across had gone across and hammered on the car window and told Mr Bigger Tit to shout the fuck up
She then turned on Mr Tit come out of next door and said if he mowed the lawn at 7 again on a weekend she would come over and ram the mower up his arse sideways.
Harmany was restored

Stnd in front of the garage door dressed as the ghost od christmas future and raise a skeltal finger to your lips to shhh him every time he beeps.

Or

Knock on their door at some sensible hour when theyre in with a clipboard and say you are canvassing the community to get support for an injunction on car horns in residentials areas being sounded at inconsiderate hours and disrurbing the neighbourhood and go on at them about someone who does it regularly like clockwork alwayswaking your kids blah blah blah

Or

You could combine the two

I think the horn beeping should trigger a siren and a full-beam searchlight, pointed straight at him...
Anyway...

Hello there, neighbour dear
Honking late again, I hear
Like clockwork, every night you beep
And wake my cherubs from their sleep*

What is this disturbance for?
You're too lazy to open a door!
So summon your wife to do it instead
Waking us all from our beds
(I've noticed that you never thank her –
Further proof that you're a wanker!)*

I command thee now – STOP IT!
(ps. You are a massive tit)

[*artistic licence]

Chocywockydodahhhhhh

OP you need to do what Chocywockydodahhhhhh's neighbour did.

Then come back and tell us if harmony has been restored there too.