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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you (over)think? (Actually laundry related!)

164 replies

ForgotwhatIcameinherefor · 29/01/2018 21:50

So I was round at a friend’s house for a catch up on our day off, and we were chatting in her kitchen diner while she carried on wiping sides down etc.
Her washing machine finished its cycle and she bent down and hauled out the contents of the load which was exclusively black/dark grey - jeans, leggings, tights, T-shirts etc; not a colour or pastel in sight.... EXCEPT ... entangled in all this was my DD’s school cookery apron that her DD had borrowed. It’s WHITE AND YELLOW.
I was standing there watching so she had perhaps forgotten that it was in there and couldn’t just stuff it back in so she styled it out “Oh this is yours, I’ll get it dry so you can take it with you.”
Now I know I am very picky when it comes to dividing colours for washing -- those “Chris Martin” coloured T-shirts with white sleeves are my worst nightmare laundry-wise - but... seriously??? Because it wasn’t just a random mixed wash Hmm it was definitely a very dark wash with my DD’s white apron stuffed in.
I’ve obviously got plenty worse things to worry about (oh I really have) but even though we met through school, I did consider her a close friend and she has voiced the same to me. I’ve tried to just forget about it but it keeps coming back to me! Was it really mean of her?
AIBU to take this personally..?

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 30/01/2018 09:31

. Not grey but I’d be embarrassed to send DD to school with it.

It’s an apron?

BertrandRussell · 30/01/2018 09:36

Jesus. No wonder the bloody polar ice caps are melting. This thread is insane.

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 30/01/2018 09:37

Hang on, I need to hear more about the perils of mixing pants and socks. Do foot germs and bum germs fight, or - worse - mate to produce a new race of supergerms?

BertrandRussell · 30/01/2018 09:47

If you mix socks and pants in the machine before you know it you’ll be answering your phone and your doorbell, eating left overs, asking other children round to tea without expecting immediate reciprocation, not minding if your 11 year old discovers Father Christmas isn’t real, offering people lifts, taking in parcels, being happy if your mil does some hoovering..........it’s the thin end of the wedge, I tell you.

Chienrouge · 30/01/2018 09:48

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool they create an army of foot/bum germ supremacists.

CaptainHammer · 30/01/2018 09:51

Hahaha.
I agree with Naice

Spam88 · 30/01/2018 09:52

This might actually be the most ridiculous thread I've read on here recently 😂

She probably just wanted to get it back to you as soon as possible so chucked it in with her next wash. Wouldn't occur to me that an apron (designed to get dirty so that your clothes don't) would need to be kept Daz white. I really don't think she did this as a slight against you, although I'm definitely going to start taking revenge against people who have pissed me off via laundry 😂

KAT0779 · 30/01/2018 10:01

I would be really pissed off, when people do things like this it just makes me think they have a lack of respect for other peoples belongings. Totally puts me off lending things to people, I don't borrow things off people either but would look after them if I did. Maybe I am one of those who overreacts though?

PiffIeandWiffle · 30/01/2018 10:04

I would be really pissed off, when people do things like this it just makes me think they have a lack of respect for other peoples belongings.

If you were that bothered about your belongings surely you'd make sure they didn't end up in other people's washing machines in the first place??

And Yes - you are one of those that overreacts....

UnimaginativeUsername · 30/01/2018 10:57

This might actually be the most ridiculous thread I've read on here recently 😂

It’s a very MN thread. Reading too many threads like this on here can make you paranoid. But then you go out into the real world and realise that people you actually know don’t take minor laundry mishaps as a personal slight.

NicheArea · 30/01/2018 11:02

I did consider her a close friend.
Grin

pastabest · 30/01/2018 11:14

I've always wondered why other people seem to find housework/laundry such a massive job.

This thread has shown me it's because I obviously don't care enough about doing it properly!

Unless something is particularly precious/delicate everything gets bunged in together. I haven't noticed a difference discernible enough to contemplate doing it differently.

Original poster
ForgotwhatIcameinherefor · 30/01/2018 14:27

Wow.
Well I was open to “get a grip” type comments so that’s fine but I am honestly shocked at the proportion of posters who don’t separate their washing!
Some of you didn’t read my OP so I reiterate that yes I DO have plenty to worry about - perhaps because I don’t have as much as I used to and have to watch the pennies is why I take extra care of things I have spent my hard-earned on rather than calling them “just a ... fgs”. Btw to be clear it’s a secondary school cookery apron not a pre-school painting apron so never got a mark on it really.
I didn’t actually realise those colour run sheets were so good that you didn’t need to separate washes. Or that they work after the damage has been done so I have learned something else today! Thanks!
I take all this on board though with the memory of going to watch my younger DD’s schools choirs Christmas performance and wondering how I would be able to spot her on a massive stage of 14 schools from the back of the theatre after they’d been told to remove their jumpers. There was one child in DD’s group whose “white” blouse was positively grey, so I looked out for her so I’d know DD was nearby. And yes I would have been embarrassed if she had been mine... sorry not sorryWink

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 30/01/2018 15:02

Hmm. I think I will repeat “get a grip” and add “stop exaggerating and being judgemental” I do not believe you could spot one poorly washed school shirt among 1000 kids. That’s just ridiculous.

Dishwashersaurous · 30/01/2018 15:07

I too can't believe the emotion in this thread. Whites, coloured, towels/bedding here.

Dishwashersaurous · 30/01/2018 15:09

And yellow is definitely coloured, so therefore goes in the mixed load, not the white load

Olddear · 30/01/2018 15:10

I'm with you op. I don't want my whites to be anything other than brilliant white. I walkways separate my washing, I don't want my whites to be greige

Thistlebelle · 30/01/2018 15:13

You generally I don’t think of myself as the typical “MN Friend”. No one have ever called me at 3am about their broken relationship, I don’t share all my feelings and difficulties with my friends and I don’t care in the least if they go out with other friends and post it on FB.

However despite not being (I don’t think) a good MN type friend I have never, ever assumed that a mistake or oversite made by a friend is deliberate with no other evidence.

Between this thread and the missing birth email thread my eyes are nearly rolling to the back of my head.

I separate my washing but in these circumstances I’d assume it had got accidentally put I wash by her DD with school uniform.

I’d be a bit peeved if it was damaged but if you lend people stuff that’s the change you take.

If OP this woman is your good and valuable friend why the hell are you so quick to assume nasty and unkind motives are behind her behaviour?

Original poster
ForgotwhatIcameinherefor · 30/01/2018 15:17

It’s predominantly white, thin yellow stripes. But yes I do a white wash, a white with little bits of other colour wash, a pink wash, a light blue/lilac/green wash, etc etc etc ...Blush
And perhaps my eyesight is being much better than yours BertrandRussell is the issue then, rather than any lack of grip? I was looking for tinsel ponytails etc to identify from a distance but the colour of the shirt was honestly the most stand-out featureConfused

OP posts:
whiskyowl · 30/01/2018 15:18

You can get a whitener that you add to the wash for precisely this eventuality. Soak it for 30 minutes in a good amount of powder, then wash with a white renovator or oxygen bleach.

MargoLovebutter · 30/01/2018 15:20

That would make me silently weep with frustration but I wouldn't take it personally or think it was a deliberate attempt to sabotage a cookery apron.

I would think that friend was a domestic slattern though & I'd be asking on MN for strategies to brighten & whiten the apron again. My tip would be hot wash with cup full of bleach.

Original poster
ForgotwhatIcameinherefor · 30/01/2018 15:23

Thistlebelle I haven’t assumed have I.
I’ve asked if It would BU to take personally and been firmly told yes it would which I have been relieved to accept.
I’ve been taken advantage of in the past and had my kindness taken for weakness which has left me in the position I have described above. This has left me often unsure of where the line between reasonable/unreasonable is. Which - oh look - is where mumsnet comes in...

OP posts:
Original poster
ForgotwhatIcameinherefor · 30/01/2018 15:25

Thank you to Margo and whisky and all pps for your whitening advice and understanding!Flowers

OP posts:
drinkswineoutofamug · 30/01/2018 15:25

I don't separate my washing but put stain catcher in.
I even throw a towel in the wash to bung up the load if needs be.
Yes I'm a slattern .
Even worse I don't iron and sometimes my washing gets left on the line to be darkened on.
I need to be arrested and charged by the good housewife police

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 30/01/2018 15:25

I throw all my washing in together and never ever separate. I use a colour catcher and have never ever had a colour run.