To think choosing your wedding dress is not the magical experience I have been peddled?!

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

I chose my wedding dress this weekend.

I don't feel joy. I feel relief that I may never have to go through that experience again

I went on my own because I always shop on my own. I am no virginal slip of a bride that I thought I required a chaperone (32 and well...I had a lot of fun in my youth ) and I know what I like. Also I'm NC with my mother at the moment and my best friend just blindly says I look lovely in everything, even the time I looked like a Creme brûlée at our sixth form prom.

I paid £10 before I was permitted to look upon the dresses. This was supposed to include a glass of fizz, but the lady had run out, so I had a tap water.

The lady was nice, but even though I told her what I wanted, she brought me lots of netty monstrosities 'just to wow' me they did not wow me. I looked like the toilet roll lady my Nan used to have in her loo.

I normally wear a size 10. Some of the dresses in a 14 wouldn't do up why do they cut them so tiny?! I have a little bit of Christmas pork to lose but still...

I found the dress I loved. The price tag was £1800 I'm wondering whether to just put a down payment on it, which seems like a good ideajust so I never have to repeat this process ever again I am horrified at that amount of money, but it was truly the only one I thought 'that looks amazing even though my hair is stuck to my face, I'm not wearing the right underwear and I've just bloody well had enough'

It looks like it's a lovely magical experience on TV!

When my friend got married last year, she went to a place where you ring a little bell in your changing room, to signify you had found 'the one' (dress, not fiancé, I presume ) and all the other brides to be would come and ooh and ahh at you.

I unfortunately burst out in scoffing laughing when she told me that, and she didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. So while that was not the experience I was aiming for, I was hoping for...oh, I don't know a bit of enchantment! fizz would have helped

Was I expecting too much?

Have you looked at outlets and sales shops?

Some charity shops are given sample dresses from stores needing the room or closing down

Keep an open mind

Given that wedding dress shops are competing with the internet as a whole, ebay for second hand, China for cheap version, charity shops and dressmakers, not to mention high street ranges, I'd have thought they'd be bending over backwards to make themselves as accessible as possible.

The appointment aspect is as much about offering undivided attention as anything else. You can’t get into and out of these dresses without help. When they cost over a grand they don’t want to let you try it on your own so you need an assistant just for you.
If you’re potentially spending 1.5-2k, you don’t want other randoms milling about while you’re in the process.

It makes complete sense to do it that way (having just done it at the start of Dec)

British Red Cross at Stockbridge Edinburgh sell new dresses donated by retailers and manufacturers for a fraction of the store price.

Mine came from a lovely boutique, not a bridal shop. The service in boutiques can be very hit and miss, but I was served by a lovely woman who was really helpful.

I can (theoretically) walk into Harvey Nichols and try on £3000 McQueen and Roland Mouret dresses, and walk out of the store with one in a nice shiny string-handled bag. Why wedding dresses require appointments and sales assistants flapping about, I don't understand.

Go in, look at the rails, try some on, decide which aspects you like/dislike and avoid those naice twee places who charge you to spend shedloads of dosh in their bloody shop. Charging £10, bollocks to that.
A decent assistant will help you on, provide accessories like shoes, veil, underslip etc so you can get a good gauge of whether it is right. Like good hairdressers, ones that listen are the best. Too pushy? Leave and try the next one. I did three large chains before selecting a small local retailer who was excellent.

High street wedding dresses are beautiful, a lot cheaper and a lot less hassle. You can always find someone to make alterations if you need. One of the most beautiful weddings I've been to, the bride's dress was from Phase Eight.

Bridal shops sound like hell but I regret not having a wedding dress.

I bet there is a compromise out there that will get you the dress you want at a great price.

Don't lose heart, you'll look beautiful!

Just for anyone looking for a cheaper option for a dress but don't want to mess around in and out of busy changing rooms I have just discovered Debenhams do a free personal shopper service especially for bridal wear. You get 2 hours, put your size and any special requests in when you book so presumably they will have stuff waiting for you.

Am so going to do this. They have some beautiful off the peg dresses, both specific bridal gowns and some others that would be suitable if you aren't wanting to spend 100's or even 1000's on a dress.

Am also going to book one for the dcs for their bridesmaids/pageboy stuff.

I bought mine from an Oxfam wedding dress shop - good experience - and spent £250 on the dress and veil which helped!

I had this experience. You’re in the wrong shop. DO NOT ORDER THAT DRESS. I did. Regretted it. Had to buy another one. Have £1,200 dress unworn in waredrobe. And a beautiful £300 secondhand one bought at Stillwhite which I LOVED wearing and had customised. Gorgeous.

Yanbu, hated every second of getting mine and if I ever did have to do it again I would just wear jeans and a jumper I think.

First time I went to try some on in a fancy shop. They were sooo rude and everything looked awful on me. The lady was so snotty with me, she couldn’t have cared less.

Decided to buy one online to try on next. Took it round to my friends house to try on. Literally the second I put it on my phone rang with DH begging me to come home as my mum had just died!
Didn’t even bother trying to look for another, that one was going to have to do lol.

Shop around. They aren't all like that. I got mine in a wedding dress chain where you came out into the shop floor to look in the big mirror. I looked hideous in all the dresses I chose and asked the assistant for advice. She brought one out that she thought would be good for me and she was right. It looked good. Cheap too in comparison to yours. I've seen some lovely ones in coast, and monsoon as well.

I would run a mile!!!

Thank goodness I was heavily pregnant when I got married... We had a cheap registry office wedding. I wore a lovely maternity summer dress for £20 and there was no pressure on me to be beautiful.

Good luck xxx

I don't know if you are anywhere near a Wed2be but they have lots of different styles for all different designers arranged in size order and all dresses are under £500 but you have to get your alterations done by someone else but they will give you a list of local ones.

I think a lot of it depends on the shop. I visited 4 bridal shops on the one and only day I went shopping, m I found the dress in the last shop where the lady was lovey, in no way pushy and the dress cost £750 - still a lot of money I know but half of what some of them cost, so I felt I'd done okay. She found me a veil which I loved and it went with the dress perfectly.

However, the second shop we went to was AWFUL!!! The appointment before us over ran, which wasn't a problem to us but the way in which the door was slammed in our faces whilst we were told to wait was downright rude. I didn't want loads of lace as that's just not quite my style - every dress they suggested I try was pure lace. When I found one I vaguely liked, she kept asking me 'do you love it?'. Eventually I said 'yes, I suppose I do love it' just to shit her up, so she said 'well if you love it you have to have it!'.

I've heard from someone else that their friend went there absolutely terrified of dress shopping because she's a larger lady (which she told the shop in advance) they told her not to sit on the chair because she might break it

That sounds like a terrible shop. Definitely go elsewhere!

I just got mine from ‘Coast’. £300 and I adored it!

I hated going to my first shop. I'm plus size, and nothing even went round me despite me asking about sizes when I booked the appointment.

I ended up at another place which seems dresses off the rack, so no ordering, and the prices are capped at about £700 I think. Sizes seem close to normal. Wed2B is the company if that helps, OP.

@HarrietKettleWasHere

Never done it myself but I still have nightmares about going with one of my SILs, the first shop we went in seemed nice. Then she started trying things on, SIL is beautiful, sensitive and a size 14 so not huge, but nothing fitted her, they seemed designed for midgets, so the assistant thought it would be a good idea to announce that I as a size 6/8 (this is not a stealth boast I was very ill at the time and did not look good) should try them on for her so she could see as I was the 'perfect' size, she would not stop talking!
Poor SIL s face I was furious and marched us out of there. Her confidence took such a knock it was awful.
Thankfully she had her perfect dress made in the end at a fraction of the cost and looked stunning.

Incidentally it's interesting seeing people say that women who are a size 14 couldn't find anything in the boutiques to try on. My understanding was that most shops tend to carry most stock in around a 12 or 14 on the basis that you can then adjust it with pegs to fit anyone smaller, whereas if all your stock is 8s and 10s then loads of customers won't fit into anything! A good bridal boutique should have plenty in for anyone 8-14...I think 16 up you are probably better going to a plus size boutique. The boutique I got mine from (Supernova Bridal in Berkshire) have a sister boutique for plus size dresses called Daisy Love which looked lovely from the outside if that assists any plus size brides to be on here!

Good luck to anyone still looking for their dream dress. X

The appointment aspect is as much about offering undivided attention as anything else. You can’t get into and out of these dresses without help. When they cost over a grand they don’t want to let you try it on your own so you need an assistant just for you.
If you’re potentially spending 1.5-2k, you don’t want other randoms milling about while you’re in the process.

I suppose it depends on the type dress you want but I didn't need help getting in and out of dresses. Couldn't care less about whether there were any randoms about either. It is very individual. Some people want loads of attention and help whereas other would really hate a fuss and just want to get on with it in peace.

Does 'randoms' just mean other people in the shop?

Mine was a second hand, designer dress from eBay. I got it for £50 plus postage and it was gorgeous.

If I wanted to spend 2 grand on a dress, I’d want something I could wear more than once!

Brides always look beautiful to me anyway. I don’t actually think the dress makes much difference. Hair, makeup and being really happy always go a long way.

This is on eBay. Very tempted. But plainer than my first choice but its got a stunning train on the back. Ex sample would mean it hasn't been altered or anything yet, right?

That’s lovely op! Just double check it’s a ‘proper’ wedding dress brand / designer. I know people who have been caught out by cheap imports on eBay.

Mine was a sample dress and hadn’t been altered. I sized up as I knew it would be easier to alter if needed.