To think choosing your wedding dress is not the magical experience I have been peddled?!

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

I chose my wedding dress this weekend.

I don't feel joy. I feel relief that I may never have to go through that experience again

I went on my own because I always shop on my own. I am no virginal slip of a bride that I thought I required a chaperone (32 and well...I had a lot of fun in my youth ) and I know what I like. Also I'm NC with my mother at the moment and my best friend just blindly says I look lovely in everything, even the time I looked like a Creme brûlée at our sixth form prom.

I paid £10 before I was permitted to look upon the dresses. This was supposed to include a glass of fizz, but the lady had run out, so I had a tap water.

The lady was nice, but even though I told her what I wanted, she brought me lots of netty monstrosities 'just to wow' me they did not wow me. I looked like the toilet roll lady my Nan used to have in her loo.

I normally wear a size 10. Some of the dresses in a 14 wouldn't do up why do they cut them so tiny?! I have a little bit of Christmas pork to lose but still...

I found the dress I loved. The price tag was £1800 I'm wondering whether to just put a down payment on it, which seems like a good ideajust so I never have to repeat this process ever again I am horrified at that amount of money, but it was truly the only one I thought 'that looks amazing even though my hair is stuck to my face, I'm not wearing the right underwear and I've just bloody well had enough'

It looks like it's a lovely magical experience on TV!

When my friend got married last year, she went to a place where you ring a little bell in your changing room, to signify you had found 'the one' (dress, not fiancé, I presume ) and all the other brides to be would come and ooh and ahh at you.

I unfortunately burst out in scoffing laughing when she told me that, and she didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. So while that was not the experience I was aiming for, I was hoping for...oh, I don't know a bit of enchantment! fizz would have helped

Was I expecting too much?

I like the idea of a hand painted silk cloak, sounds lovely mirime.

I landed very lucky as my best mate saw a dress she thought I would love, in a sale, in a bridal shop window, it was perfect , the colour, the length and the size were all spot on,and it was the only dress I tried on!

Dress is beautiful and not sure if this has been said, but please try sitting down in it! My friend almost bought one in that style but realised she could barely sit down, let alone eat in the thing. Style over function! But then it does look great, so whatever’s most important to you (it’s the food for me )

There’s some preworn dresses here. Still quite pricey, but guess they go for a lot more new!

bridalreloved.co.uk/dresses-instore/catalogue/?swoof=1&page=4

If I get one secondhand, and it's already been altered, does that bugger up potential further alterations?

Keiki if you wouldn't mind that would be great! Would be good to explore another avenue.

Good tip about making sure I'm able to sit down. Or we'll have to go for endless canapés instead of the sit down breakfast we've planned

Yup a new dress will need to be altered. Lace up back dresses normally require less as they have more le-way. Always easier to take in than let out. Dresses are so expensive.

I definitely agree! I hated shopping for my dress, I found the whole thing very stressful. I wish I had gone and looked at WED2B as they are so much cheaper and carry all sizes!

It's always been appointments.

It hasn't always been appointments as when I was looking for wedding dresses I didn't make an appointment.

Unfortunately that's the way the market is at the moment, it's tough in retail, designers name isn't given out for the same reason.

If it is "tough" in retail it doesn't explain the apparent need for appointments. If anything it should be the other way around as they should be trying harder to sell not putting people off using their business by insisting on appointments and actually charging them to try on dresses.

Agree it has not always been appointments

Keiki I'd love a PM too if possible! Thank you.

I didn’t enjoy dress shopping! I was 5 months pregnant at the time and came in with a wedding date less than two months down the line and they looked...concerned.

They brought me a handful they thought might be suitable and erm...adjustable for my expanding self, I hated the first one but really liked the second so didn’t try any others on. I wasn’t planning on going to any other bridal shops.

It was hot, I was sweaty, my maternity underwear was ugly and on show, but I had a dress and it was going to fit, hurrah!

Took around half an hour.

Elton - yes, though the result in this case was she bought a dress in the Monsoon sale - £50 and accessorised herself. She looked gorgeous (but then she always bloody does!).

I was visiting my parents in Sydney not long after getting engaged and knowing that the wedding was almost a year off. My mother and I wondered into a bridal shop in town that was closing down with no intention of doing anything beyond looking at what was out there. I had a vision of myself in something 50s looking, like grace kelly in high society or Elizabeth Taylor in the original father of the bride. No such thing of course, but I tried on a 70s looking thing and then someone suggested I try a dress that was pretty-ish but more princess than I would have picked out. And it fit perfectly. And was $500. And I had to decide if I would get it then and there because the shop was going the next week and there was no way to know if I’d find anything I liked better, and the price was good, but it was literally the second dress I tried on.

I bought it. Bought a veil the week before the wedding hoping the colour would match (it did).

There was more trauma around the bridesmaids dresses than the wedding dress in the end.

Honestly, the entire industry seems created to encourage hype and expectation of magic and I’d not be surprised if most women truly enjoyed it all.

There was more trauma around the bridesmaids dresses than the wedding dress in the end.

I find there usually is. It's much harder finding dresses to work on three people than one. And if they all wear the same dress, there's usually one poor girl who just doesn't suit it as well as the others. My bridesmaids wore the same colour (both happened to choose the same from a colour wheel) but different dresses in the styles they liked. I wanted them to feel pretty.

If it is "tough" in retail it doesn't explain the apparent need for appointments. If anything it should be the other way around as they should be trying harder to sell not putting people off using their business by insisting on appointments and actually charging them to try on dresses.

Nope. Not correct. Because having an appointment system doesn't actually put off most of those who are serious about getting a dress. It does, however, put off timewasters, fantasists and gangs of half cut women who decide to go and try on dresses for a laugh.

Next or topshop want as many people as possible to try on their clothes so they have open changing rooms and people serve themselves. If a dress gets ripped or torn they're probably down £50.

In a wedding shop the goods are very high value so a certain level of vigilance is needed. Plus more intensive customer service is needed helping people get dressed, showing them how it would look if altered correctly, and showing different options for shoes, accessories etc to show your products in the best light. If the serious customers don't get a decent level of service because the staff are tied up with time wasters the business suffers.

And customers are intending to spend £1k upwards ffs. They shouldn't just be told to grab a gown and sort themselves out, and an appointment system means they can make sure every customer gets a decent level of service.

There are extremely good reasons. Debenhams had an off the peg bridal range at one point and scrapped it because they made huge losses because of the damage done by Saturday morning piss takers destroying the stock.

I had no engagement ring (my fiance and I agreed to put the cash towards a new kitchen instead) and went wedding dress shopping on my own. Oh, and I was size 14-16.
Couldn't get any bridal shops to serve me! I remember vividly being quizzed about my wedding date and venue, and not being able to answer the questions to their satisfaction. It was like that bit in Pretty Woman where the shop assistant says they have nothing and you should leave. I think they had me pegged as a fantasist with no actual wedding in sight ever.
Ended up buying an evening gown in a department store.
Married 12 years now and the shop that was rudest to me has closed down.

I know my figure, I know what suits me and what doesnt so to have some gobshite Id never met before telling me to try a dress on when I knew Id look like a moron in it, squeezing it on and looking like a prize bell end did not fill me with joy.

This. I went to several shops and I was really taken aback at the levels of body- shaming. If shops are doing badly, maybe they should try being nice to people. I get treated better at H&M!

I'm also highly suspicious of the "glass of bubbly" aspect. I think it's really dodgy to ply someone with alcohol when you're trying to make a sale. If I'm going to buy something that expensive, I'm going to keep a clear head, thanks.

I ended up buying my dress online and taking it to a specialist alterations place.

Oh god I'd forgotten wedding shop horror. I paid £20 to try on dresses and DSis and I drank plenty of fizz to blank out the horror.

Most memorable bit was being told the price, it was two, three, seven, four. We gave lady blank looks while we worked out £2374 in our heads. And then took off the monstrous thing and ran away to the pub.

I bought a strapless dress online, Dsis went on to buy her wedding the next year in BHS in 20mins. We both looked amazing on the day.

I can relate. My mum is agoraphobic and couldn't have come to the shop with me in a million years. She was incredibly brave in making the actual wedding (sheer determination on her part that day)

I was barked at for trying to take a photo of the dress for her 'I might be trying to steal the design.'

I paid £100 for it in their sale so I put up with it; I was just trying to include my mum on the day by texting her a photo as soon as I knew I had the right dress. Wedding industry is utter bollocks.
I paid £360 for custom made shoes though; I've got feet like a bloody hobbit so I had to get them made.
My veil was from the US and even with import taxes cost a megaton less than veils here.

Buying all the crap for the day sucked. So glad to be happily married as I'll never do it again

The day itself was lovely!

My daughter and I have this pleasure on Friday, 3 appointments booked in across the full day.

I was never offered champagne, only water. There was also no problem with taking photos; I wanted pics so that I could compare dresses from different shops and nobody said a word. One lady took the pics for me.

I did try on a couple of meringues for the laugh and I was surprised that they didn't actually look as terrible as I thought they would.

I worked in one evenings and weekends from 14 to the end of Uni.

It was a well established mid market family shop with a good reputation which was based on the philosophy that if brides get what they want you will get a good reputation that will give you lasting success rather than going for a hard sell bottom line approach.

They didn't pay staff commission and they were frequently family members plus there were no incentives like sales targets or competitions but bonuses where paid on overall business performance.

I really liked it and it was a lot of fun and very rewarding when customers were happy (although there were a lot of bridezillas too).

A lot of other wedding shops have sales targets, bonuses based on sales, sales completions etc. That means a lot of salespeople hardsell and try to push people to more expensive things and can be snotty and dismissive to customers they don't think will spend big.

*were paid.

I was so traumatised by the experience of shopping with my friend as a bridesmaid that I bought my own dress from Monsoon - I tried one on, liked it, and bought it. I do actually think I could have got a more flattering dress but I couldn't face it.

I'm overweight and the bridesmaid's dress shopping, and watching my friend too, appeared to be an excuse for women to be outright rude about me and my figure, and her too (and she had a gorgeous shape). It wasn't even 'brutal honesty' as they all talked about the need for thick straps for my big bra - I am a B cup. They just saw a 'fat woman'.

And then the prices, and the endless extras. Alterations, veils/trains/gloves, shoes etc. It was all terrifying. And in these airless, dingy changing rooms.

Some of you obviously found nicer places! I sort of wish I'd tried but I'm also pleased I only spent £200 on my dress, and it was really nice, just not any sort of transformative garment.

I like it, especially the bodice and sleeves. Here is the same dress on sale, for £1,299.00. Ronald Joyce Hadara