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Original poster

To think choosing your wedding dress is not the magical experience I have been peddled?!

319 replies

HarrietKettleWasHere · 29/01/2018 21:48

I chose my wedding dress this weekend.

I don't feel joy. I feel relief that I may never have to go through that experience again Grin

I went on my own because I always shop on my own. I am no virginal slip of a bride that I thought I required a chaperone (32 and well...I had a lot of fun in my youth Grin) and I know what I like. Also I'm NC with my mother at the moment and my best friend just blindly says I look lovely in everything, even the time I looked like a Creme brûlée at our sixth form prom.

I paid £10 before I was permitted to look upon the dresses. This was supposed to include a glass of fizz, but the lady had run out, so I had a tap water.

The lady was nice, but even though I told her what I wanted, she brought me lots of netty monstrosities 'just to wow' me Hmm they did not wow me. I looked like the toilet roll lady my Nan used to have in her loo.

I normally wear a size 10. Some of the dresses in a 14 wouldn't do up Blush why do they cut them so tiny?! I have a little bit of Christmas pork to lose but still...

I found the dress I loved. The price tag was £1800 Shock I'm wondering whether to just put a down payment on it, which seems like a good ideajust so I never have to repeat this process ever again Grin I am horrified at that amount of money, but it was truly the only one I thought 'that looks amazing even though my hair is stuck to my face, I'm not wearing the right underwear and I've just bloody well had enough'

It looks like it's a lovely magical experience on TV!

When my friend got married last year, she went to a place where you ring a little bell in your changing room, to signify you had found 'the one' (dress, not fiancé, I presume Confused) and all the other brides to be would come and ooh and ahh at you.

I unfortunately burst out in scoffing laughing when she told me that, and she didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. So while that was not the experience I was aiming for, I was hoping for...oh, I don't know a bit of enchantment! fizz would have helped

Was I expecting too much?Grin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
crackerjacket · 30/01/2018 14:28

'This was supposed to include a glass of fizz, but the lady had run out, so I had a tap water.'

'A' tap water Grin
not just 'tap water'

Pollaidh · 30/01/2018 14:33

Was that Caroline Castagliano? Found that an unpleasant experience.

I had the best experience with my couture dress designer in the end, couldn't find any shop dresses that were right. Dress cost about £2000, poss a little less, and the experience was lovely. I went in with a top I liked and a very vague idea, and she sketched what she thought I'd like in front of me, capturing exactly what was in my head and I was unable to really describe. Then she made the pattern, and I got to choose the different silks, laces, everything. You try on a version in some kind of cotton that she makes up with pins, before doing it in silk. It's a complete one off design, and obviously also made to fit me (not any more!).

She was lovely, and I felt like some sort of Jane Austen lady.

PoorYorick · 30/01/2018 14:38

You're not constrained by appointments - you make them at a time convenient to you, if you wish to. Nobody forces you to shop there.

I didn't even try Caroline Castigliano. Couldn't afford a button in there.

GooodMythicalMorning · 30/01/2018 14:41

Do be aware about light in a box. I got conned out of lots of money for a shit item that wasn't what it purported to be, was cheap material and looked it. Took a long time for it to arrive. Literally 6 months with me complaining every day and then a high tax fee when it finally did arrive. Definitely wasn't worth it!!

Pollaidh · 30/01/2018 14:43

If anyone wants the details of a couture dress designer in the South West, PM met and I'll pass on her details. She was not only talented, absolutely focussed on getting exactly what I wanted and suited me, but was also lovely - important because it involves multiple appointments and you sort of have to work as a team.

tectonicplates · 30/01/2018 14:47

Anyone who's interested in vintage style may be interested to know that Collectif will be introducing some bridal dresses this season. They should be added to the website within the next month or two. I've seen photos of people getting married in Vivien of Holloway dresses, too.

minipie · 30/01/2018 14:50

Caroline Castigliano was where I had the bizarre experience in my post above, and my mum got the giggles. And they would only let me lool at the sale rail because I'd made a "sale" appointment not a "full" appointment. Very weird and very un customer friendly.

Original poster
HarrietKettleWasHere · 30/01/2018 14:51

Ok I just 'reached out Grin' to a dressmaker local to where I'm getting married and she sounded lovely, like a mum in a storybook Grin

I'm going to send her a few pictures and she'll going to see what she can come back with in terms of price and times scales. She used to make proper corsets and dresses for the theatre.

OP posts:
Dungeondragon15 · 30/01/2018 15:09

You're not constrained by appointments - you make them at a time convenient to you, if you wish to.

You are constrained as you have to estimate how much time you will take in each shop. If you finish much earlier than expected then you would have to wait a while before going to the next one. If it takes longer then you would be late.

Youcanstayundermyumbrella · 30/01/2018 15:23

Presumably appointments could be the thing that put off someone who thought they might give your shop a go but can't be bothered with that?

Eltonjohnssyrup · 30/01/2018 15:24

You are constrained as you have to estimate how much time you will take in each shop. If you finish much earlier than expected then you would have to wait a while before going to the next one. If it takes longer then you would be late.

Why are you assuming people go to one shop after another all on the same day?

PoorYorick · 30/01/2018 15:28

Well, if you don't want to go to appointments only shops, you don't have to. Enough people do that it seems to be the better business model for most of them.

I personally preferred it. I wouldn't have liked to traipse around all day not knowing how many places I was going to get to see and having to remember where to go back to and not knowing when would be best. YMMV.

Youcanstayundermyumbrella · 30/01/2018 15:32

Why are you assuming people go to one shop after another all on the same day?

Presumably in response to this post?

When I had several shops to visit in a day, I found appointments made it much easier to plan the day and make sure I had enough time and service in each one. It would have driven me nuts trying to work out how to get around town and see all the busy ones in non-peak times. Would probably have taken me longer.

Dungeondragon15 · 30/01/2018 15:57

Why are you assuming people go to one shop after another all on the same day?

I am not assuming that everyone will but some people will. I did and from your post so did you!!

Dungeondragon15 · 30/01/2018 15:59

Well, if you don't want to go to appointments only shops, you don't have to. Enough people do that it seems to be the better business model for most of them.

Considering that many are going out of business, maybe not enough people want to do that and they don't know what the best business model is. It is clear from this thread that many don't enjoy the current shopping experience.

Dungeondragon15 · 30/01/2018 16:02

I personally preferred it. I wouldn't have liked to traipse around all day not knowing how many places I was going to get to see and having to remember where to go back to and not knowing when would be best. YMMV.

It really wasn't complicated to visit one shop after the other and go back to one or two later if they were busy... I do it all the time when shopping for clothes and wedding dress wasn't that different

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 30/01/2018 16:02

I loved shopping for mine. I ended up getting it in Wed2Be and I think what made it so stress free was the fact you don’t have to make an appointment and there’s less of a fanfare. You can also try on as many dresses as you like. I went in several times and tried on about 10 dresses until I was happy. It was £600 plus £50 for alterations.

ReanimatedSGB · 30/01/2018 16:22

This just sounds so peculiar TBH. How much fucking hassle can it be to buy a nice frock? White ones are not that hard to come by.

Original poster
HarrietKettleWasHere · 30/01/2018 16:30

Argh the dressmaker just keeps parroting that it's too expensive to have it made from scratch (I didn't even specify a particular dress, just a rough idea! clearly I sound 'poor' on the phone Grin )

I'm going to have to go back into the bloody shops aren't I. Into the breach.

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 30/01/2018 16:36

How much fucking hassle can it be to buy a nice frock?

I'm shaped like a marshmallow atop two parsnips. It might not be an issue for most occasions, but if everyone's going to be looking at me and there will be lots of photos....it's hard to get right.

Are lots of wedding dress shops going out of business because of appointments systems? I wasn't aware of that. Glad I got mine when I did.

Also OP, having it made is likely nowhere near as expensive as you might think (depending on design and fabric, obviously). If you're really struggling to find something or you've got something specific in mind, a dressmaker could be the solution.

Original poster
HarrietKettleWasHere · 30/01/2018 16:39

Not this dressmaker apparently! She's decided it's too expensive for me even before she's been told what my budget is BlushGrin

OP posts:
OhCalamity · 30/01/2018 17:20

Not this dressmaker apparently! She's decided it's too expensive for me even before she's been told what my budget is

What she probably means is that between the materials and labour involved, she wont get her price under the ones you've shown her. They are labour intensive, particularly embellished gowns and the fabric could run into a good few hundred before she even starts to draft the pattern, cut it out, and begin sewing.

Original poster
HarrietKettleWasHere · 30/01/2018 17:33

Ah, i did try and make it clear that they are just ideas in a style really, but I understand.

Right, you've all spurred me on to get back into a shop- i can do it- I just need it to be a non wanky one this time!

OP posts:
Dungeondragon15 · 30/01/2018 17:48

Are lots of wedding dress shops going out of business because of appointments systems? I wasn't aware of that. Glad I got mine when I did.

I don't know why they are going out of business but in a competitive environment, it can't help to insist on appointments if it puts some potential serious buyers off etc. Many competitors will be much more flexible.

pointythings · 30/01/2018 19:34

I loved buying mine (20 years ago). Nobody did fizz or charged for anything. The sales assistant listened to me and was really enthusiastic and supportive. There was one other lady there trying on, complete opposite in style to me, and we both came away happy and were each other's cheer squad.

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