To not give neighbor internet password?

[NegansDollFace]

I’ve lived at my current address for 3 years, 4 in November 2018. The house next door is split into two flats, one upstairs and one down. So I’ve never been particularly close to my next door neighbors. We exchange (limited) pleasantries if we see each other and they’ve taken in a parcel for me once and I for them a few times. They work night times and there’s a bit of a language barrier so we legitimately don’t have any relationship beyond polite.

Tonight when I was at our local supermarket when I saw neighbor from the upstairs flat, I smiled an acknowledged him but moved to go to the self checkout. He followed and began a conversation asking how I was, fine, fine but when I ask him how he is he tells me not so good. He goes onto explain that downstairs neighbors have moved out and took their internet with them. I can already see where this is going so he asked if he could have my WiFi password and that he was willing to pay for it. I was put on the spot so I told him I’d speak to him when I’m home.

I’m home now and really am hoping the fact that I haven’t gotten back to him will speak for itself. What would you all say/do? I have incredibly bad social anxiety and I’m very awkward in these situations. Am I BU to just tell him no? And feel like he’s being cheeky? Surely if he shared internet with the flat below they’d have told him they were moving so he’d have time to get a different provider? Also if he’s willing to pay to use mine wouldn’t it just be easier to get his own installed?

Oh hell no.

I would say what a poster said on page 1.

Tell him you have far too many gadgets as it is connected to your wifi (laptops, smart tvs, google home, mobile phones etc) and it's already slowing the quality down so you'd rather not.

OR say what @floralee said

"Hi, neighbour. I've just rang BT to inform them that I was giving you my password and they have told me they will terminate contract if I do, and will now be looking for any dodgy activity. Soz"

He can get his own internet. What a fucking cheek. I would NEVER ask anyone else. I wouldn't even dream of asking! Especially someone I don't even know! Even if they are not planning on anything 'illegal' it is still a cheek for them to ask! And as a pp said, the internet provider will not approve anyway.

Some people are cheeky fuckers aren't they? Pretty low of them to mention your child too. Assholes.

I’m sorry they’ve kicked off your anxiety 💐

He was cheeky to ask in the first place, but her behaviour was deplorable. There’s no way I’d be giving it to them, cheeky bitch thinking she could guilt/bully you into it.

Many of us cannot simply say ‘No’, as much as it’s touted as a ‘full sentence’ on MN, it just doesn’t feel like it. The trick though is not to apologise or explain while ‘padding out’ your reply. Just say something like ‘No, I’m not giving you my Wi-Fi code. You need to get your own wifi* Then practice your ‘hard stare’. Whatever she waffles on with, just say ‘No, you need your own’. If she says ‘You don’t want to help us out? It would help us!’ (Etc) just say ‘I am not giving you my Wi-Fi code, you need your own’. Don’t let her see she’s getting to you. Then just say to her ‘I need to get on now, bye’

TRY not to stress, they can’t sort out their own Wi-Fi, I seriously doubt they’ll even try to complain about ‘noise’ or anything...even if they did, they’d get told children wake in the night..,end of.

The reason you are given a password is so that people can't use your internet (it keeps your data a little safer).

Don't give out the code. Stay strong. It is not normal to share this. They are being CFs.

Response: "Having thought about this, and having consulted with a few people I am sorry, I am not comfortable sharing my Internet. Have a good day! "

A noise complaint wouldn't hold up. You'd be surprised at the level and duration of noise classed as normal. A child crying, having a tantrum etc is normal every day noise and unintentional too...you're not seeking to annoy etc. I was just saying that your neighbour was possibly guilt-tripping you and trying to put your arm up your back.

If you just can't say no, why not say you called your provider for advice and they advised that you should never share your password in this way. Say they informed you that they logged the call.

Just tell them that your provider doesn't allow you to share your code with other household.

If you’re with Virgin I’d be surprised if it even worked next door, mine barely works in the next room.
Just to echo every other reply just tell them no, if you feel awkward ( which you don’t need to) tell them your internet is already crap & if it has anymore users it won’t work at all.

Don't worry a noise complaint about a child waking up upset won't stand. You have nothing to worry about. Tell them to sod off.

I used to have a partner, Sandy, but it’s just me and the kids after a bad breakup. Makes me more determined to grow a spine though!

Thank you for posting, Iam. I know that they could literally be doing anything on my WiFi if I gave it out. The only reason I even said I would talk about it was because he just sprouted this on me. I literally wasn’t expecting that.

Now it’s a proper flat they live in. The two flats are legit and my house and their flats are owned by the same landlord/couple. My issue with the noise is if they try to complain to her will she kick us out? I think they’d go to the landlords before the council. Currently I’m also worried incase they try to make this thing with my daughter out worse than it is i.e DD sometimes wakes screaming in the night (nightmares or just stimming) you’d think she was being murdered though so if they try to report me for that it would really get to me.

Kids wake in the night. Fact of life. They'll get nowhere with a noise complaint. I would go with an earlier pp's suggestion of saying you use it for work and work have said you can't let anyone else have access. Given that they don't actually seem to understand Internet security, that's convincing enough.

Thank him for the offer to pay but decline.

Wi-Fi is broken and you have to plug computer in direct.

They are cheeky bastards and she was clearly trying to manipulate you mentioning your daughter. That was a really shitty thing to do and I would have seen red over that. If they come around again, just say "No." don;t give them any opportunity to engage in conversation, its a straight no. You don;t owe them anything and you do not owe them any explanation.

YANBU. Not only will he be able to download dodgy stuff using your connection, potentially slowing your internet or even resulting in a visit from the police, it will also be very insecure for you as he could access your computer as well. If he's willing to pay then tell him to get his own internet!

Do you feel comfortable complaining to the landlord about them?

If they try to report you to the landlord just tell the truth, you think they're annoyed with you because you (quite rightly) wouldn't share your internet. Landlord will no doubt think they're cheeky bastards too.

Ask them to put their request in writing and dated as you'd need it to check with your internet provider, then come back and say you checked and regretfully you're not allowed to, if they go to the landlord about dd you can tell them it's retaliation.

As you are sat taking notes OP, why don't you jot a brief letter down, and quickly post it through their letterbox, before you go to bed, job done !

Mentioning your daughter is a low move. Nasty, manipulative cow. The answer would be no from me just because of that.

I think the correct response in this situation is : piss off you cheeky git.
That should make things nice and clear for him.

You say there is a language barrier @negansdollface

Why?

If you're renting a house instead of a flat, you probably pay more rent than them, so it's likely the landlord would prefer you to stay over them. You could even contact the landlord ahead of them and explain that they are harassing you about the wifi code, then any complaint they made would look retaliatory.

The landlord is unlikely to give you a section 21 unless it financially benefits them- in general most landlords want to avoid void periods and the costs of advertising the property.

I would tell them no, and turn it around on them- if they ask you why you won't give it to them, instead ask why they can't get their own broadband and offer helpful solutions (e.g. cheap deals, dongles etc.).

"Just tell them that your provider doesn't allow you to share your code with other household."

This ^^ because they have.

I can’t believe anyone would ask this!

No no no if he downloads something horrendous then it will be traced back to your router. No no no. Also if he knows what he is doing then your personal/financial information is a bit more vulnerable. NO.

I'll tell them for you. I don't mind confrontation