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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my boyfriend not to talk to me when DTD?

134 replies

6079SmithW · 29/01/2018 13:03

I get that it's probably all part of the experience for him, and I in no way want to curtail his enjoyment. A few odd words/phrases here or there I actually quite like too, but it is becoming almost a running commentary! AIBU to tell him to shut up?

OP posts:
mommytoboo86 · 31/01/2018 19:02

my dh doesn't dirty talk while dtd but during foreplay or just to wind me up normally. he did say just let fucking go & I was so shocked I did just that but other than that dh reckons I make enough noise 4 the both of us lmao

damelorente · 31/01/2018 19:02

DH is a talker. I'd love to be but I'm too shy and as PP have said, it's all about the confidence.

I honestly think putting a hand over your partners mouth or gagging him when he talks too much would send the message across without making him feel silly and would probably make him super horny! I'd try that first and failing that you've just got to tell him you don't like it OP.

Basseting · 31/01/2018 20:10

Ellen Grin into Grin NORWICH! Grin

speaking of the Norwegian leather industry...

I was briefly engaged to a Danish chap. He was good.
One of the best bits was that he used to talk to me in Danish whilst DTD. I do not speak/understand Danish. So lots of masculine gutteral declarations which I could make into anything I liked in my head Grin

Foodylicious · 31/01/2018 20:31

"Shhhhhh" and a little bite should distract him Grin

DeegeeDee · 31/01/2018 22:13

Oh yes @basseting, had a Spanish partner when younger. Really enjoyed his talking whilst STD.

Have enjoyed this thread, will never see Norwich in the same light.

DeegeeDee · 31/01/2018 22:14

Ha DTD even.

Basseting · 31/01/2018 22:27

DeegeeDee

the million dollar Qu: did you speak Spanish???

Original poster
6079SmithW · 31/01/2018 22:31

I had not considered another language actually @Basseting / @DeegeeDee* *

My boyfriend is not British so I could always just tell him I am really turned on by his mother tongue? (not the usual way I'm turned on by his tongue when DTD Grin)

OP posts:
Basseting · 31/01/2018 22:37

Happy to have found the Solution, OP!!! Grin

PutUpWithRain · 31/01/2018 22:42

Oh god, I'm in Norwich - NOT A EUPHEMISM - and my occasional bed partner loves it when I'm... ahem vocal Next time I'll have to ask him how his drive up Essex Street was.

FatherChewieLouie · 01/02/2018 07:01

"I'm in Norwich - NOT A EUPHEMISM"

Grin
Chocywockydodahhhhhh · 01/02/2018 07:25

My DS now my DH used to do this. It was his only fault so I put up with it for a bit.

Then one time we building up to doing the deed and talking dirty with him
as usual starting to give a running commentary. he suddenly puts on this squeeky voice and says "I want to fuck you" he sounded like pinky and perky. Well I burst out laughing and couldn't stop and for the next couple of days every time I saw him I just started laughing. For the next two weeks we could not have sex because I could t get it out of my mind and burst out laughing every time we went to do the deed. He stopped

loveablether · 01/02/2018 07:33

I love the odd comment but too much would be off putting! This thread is brilliant 😂

DeegeeDee · 01/02/2018 07:42

No @basseting, its not a tongue (phnarr) I am overly familiar with but did do wonders, shame he was a nutter. @6079smithw - do report back!

tillytown · 01/02/2018 08:13

My DS now my DH huh?

Basseting · 01/02/2018 08:16

"he did do wonders shame he was a nutter"

I have (recently) had one like that!

Wonder if him speaking in another language would solve OP's issue?

Butterymuffin · 01/02/2018 08:30

For everyone puzzled about the Norwich connection:

Original poster
6079SmithW · 01/02/2018 10:10

@DeegeeDee I'm not seeing him now until Saturday so I won't be able to try it out before then, but I will definitely report back.

Tbh I'm already warming to the idea ... I really find his accent attractive so breathy phrases of his own language here and there have got to sound better than 'Fuck me!' or 'What a great pussy'. I can't believe I never thought about it. Well done @Basseting** ! Smile

Just out of interest I wonder if certain languages are better than others? Or if there are any accents/languages it definitely wouldn't work in?

I can't imagine that faster/slower/harder/right there etc sound particularly appealing in German? And not an accent but can you imagine someone with a voice like Joe Pasquale trying to talk dirty?? Grin

OP posts:
ThomasShelbysBunnet · 01/02/2018 10:29

I don't mind a bit of dirty talk - I always find that too much moaning on my part always brings proceedings to an end faster than I would like.

OTOH.. I once had a bf who would just blether away about anything and everything - I had to put a stop to it when one day he was asking what my brother got up to on his recent holiday and what the weather had been like. Talk about a total turn off.

MsHarry · 01/02/2018 14:00

Thomas I agree that moaning=Game over too soon!

Original poster
6079SmithW · 01/02/2018 20:12

Incidentally why oh why do men think that women like to hear this stuff?

OP posts:
ElizabethHunston · 01/02/2018 21:49

Trust me when I say Spanish and Italian are both very hot when dirty talking... Punjabi not so much 😂

ElizabethHunston · 01/02/2018 21:52

I've always had a fantasy of shagging a russian or Eastern European guy talking dirty in his mother tongue, sadly not had the real thing to see if it's as hot as I imagine! Slavic languages are sexy as fuck and I imagine sound amazing in bed... where's your boyfriend from? No need to answer if you don't feel comfortable :)

Original poster
6079SmithW · 02/02/2018 14:02

@ElizabethHunston my family is Mediterranean so whilst I can appreciate that Italian/Spanish might sound good to others, it's not for me

Eastern European I like too though - very commanding Wink Don't mind New Zealand or Canada either.

My boyfriend is Middle Eastern and has a very good voice/accent combination Smile

OP posts:
MrPan · 02/02/2018 14:22

Jeez. We keep getting told to 'open up, express yourselves more, explain your feelings'.. and all of that baloney and when we do it we are opened to ridicule across the internet.
Thanks

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