Have you ever checked your partners phone?

[Elizanotlittle]

I have with my ex. Some of my friends say they have never looked snd don't even think about it. Others say they check now and then and don't feel bad.

I don't want to go down this road with new partner.

Yes I did when I had suspicions. I was right.

No!

Checked for what? Dh has asked me to look up so and so’s number or check that text from friends to say what time we are supposed to go round etc.

Or do you mean snooping? No, never. If you’re doing that one of two things is happening:

1. Dp is exhibiting behaviour that is worrying enough for you to consider snooping. If that’s the case, then it needs bringing I to the light and examining. In this case the problem lies with DP and he relationship dynamic.

1. You’re snooping for nosiness/ control/abusive purposes. In that case the problem lies with you.

Dh and I know each other’s access codes - neither would snoop.

Yes and I was right to have checked. He is now and EX.

No, why would I? I have full access to his phone and visa versa but don’t feel the need to snoop.

Checked in the sense of "checking up on him without him knowing to see what he's up to", no.

Checked in the sense of "oy missus, can you check if a message from so-and-so came in?", yes.

No.never. But I wouldn't have any qualms about doing so if I thought there was a good reason to.

Only on the ones I suspected were up to no good and the snooping confirmed it.

Yes, and I was right to.

No never.

I did with exH. It turned out he was cheating. The relationship was horrible anyway.

Not with my DP. I’d consider it an invasion of his privacy, which just demonstrates to me how different our relationship is to my previous marriage. I regularly ask him to go onto my phone for various reasons but wouldn’t go onto his without him asking me to.

Yes, in the first year of our relationship and I was right to (had suspicions). Not cheating though, he was back on heroin and I found texts between him and his brother who was also on it.
Not checked since and 11 years later we are happily married and I've not felt the need to sneak on him, we know each other better and he can't lie to me any more, I'd know the signs these days.

No. Complete invasion of privacy!

We don't have each others pass codes either.

No. I'd hate it to be done to me so I wouldn't do it to DP.

Yes

Nope. Its so nosy!

Well I dont look at his phone ever thinking that he is keeping secrets but I use his phone to read stuff on mumsnet when my phone is too far away.
We have nothing to hide so dont mind him looking at my phone or messages to my friends if he wanted to. But this is not true for everyone so you shouldnt look if your partner doesnt want you to.

Yes. Dh and I peruse each others messages reasonably often when borrowing phones to look at photos or whatever. Neither of us does it in a secretive way, we don't have anything to hide and I don't mind him looking at my phone. I don't sit and read every text or anything but I could if I wanted to, he wouldn't care.

Yes same as @solina

I wouldn't call it checking though, just looking

I don’t even know mines passcode. Not crossed my mind.

I meant to tag @Ca55andraMortnain not @solina lol

No.

Sometimes I hide it. But always in the exact same place. Forgot how that particular silly game started..!

I went through a phase with my ex of looking at his phone whenever I got the opportunity to. It drove me mad - if I saw nothing ‘incriminating’, I just assumed he’d deleted it, and the rest of the time I saw things I wish I hadn’t.

I thought I was just an inherently nosy person until I ended up in a genuinely satisfying and secure relationship. I truly haven’t felt the slightest desire to snoop this time, and we’ve been together several years.